Small and Simple

Letter #76 - February 28, 2011

2011-03-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody,

This week was pretty uneventful which is just as well because I only have about five minutes to write about it. Haha. Well We are still working hard with the families we're teaching but none of them were able to come to church this week. Carlos hasn't been drinking at all, which is great, but Julio has been drunk all week despite our super human efforts to help him to stop. We practically camped out at his house a few days this week but to no avail. However, we have also been contacting families and have found a few more really positive families to work with.

Thanks for the good counsel, dad, about writing those things in my journal. To be honest, it has been harder and harder to write in my journal and I really need to dedicate some time to it and record EVERYTHING. One day this week I was walking home from our dinner appointment with the other three hermanas, joking and laughing with them as we went. It had been such a good day, full of great experiences and I just felt so full of joy, full right up to the brim. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks how soon all of this would be coming to an end and I got quiet and a little bit sad. Oh how I will miss people arguing in Spanish in the streets, saying "adios" to all the little kids who shout out "Hermana Crosland!", talking to anyone I want to in the street, walking into any house and becoming instant friends with complete strangers, testifying of Jesus Christ and how the gospel will change their lives. It really is a strange and beautiful thing to be a missionary. I know that this is a singular experience that I will only live once and now it is coming to an end. How strange it feels. All I know is that I am going to squeeze all the juice out of these last two weeks, every last drop.

Being a missionary is the greatest thing in the world - angels on earth.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #75 - February 22, 2011

2011-03-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hello fam,

How are you all? Seems like your all busy and doing well, which is great. Felicidades to Nick and Jessica on their mission calls! I was thrilled to finally hear about where they are going. And congrats on Will's first date. She's a cutie, Will. Nice work. I want to see more pictures of baby Ada. I'm pretty much obsessed with her, telling the whole world I'm a tía and I have a severe need to see more pictures of her. Please send them. Asap.

Well, this week we had a few set backs. The night after we taught a great lesson about the Word of Wisdom to Julio y Dulce, and committed them to keep it (Friday), we found out that Julio was drinking on Saturday, breaking a three month streak without a drink. Cool, love when that happens.We were doing better when we hadn't taught the commandment. So that kept him and Dulce from coming to church this week. Also, Carlos y Christian didn't come after two weeks of coming all by themselves, because Saturday night, Carlos was drinking as well after three weeks of being clean. Very disappointing. But we are not discouraged and we're going to keep working hard with these families. But we were happy because Nubia and Edwin came. They are a couple that keep breaking up and getting back together so I'm not sure what to think, but on Sunday they came to church together and said that they wanted to get married and baptized. Well, strike while the iron is hot, I say. We're going to try to baptize them this weekend.

The work is going well and I know that there is so much I can do here in these last few weeks. But I am longing for the cold of Utah. The sun here is brutal and it is really starting to heat up.

Yesterday we were invited to a Super P-day with two other zones who have also been consistantly baptizing families and we had a fun day playing with water. It was fun having a huge water fight and dragging unsuspecting victims outside to be hosed down and thrown into the blow-up slip-n-slide. There was also a giant blow up slide and those crazy elders ended up tipping the whole thing over because there were about 10 of them all up at the top. Sometimes elders are so smart. :) But we had a great time even though I think getting wet really worsened the cold I had been fighting because it came on full force today and I feel slightly miserable. But who can let a
cold slow you down?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about agency and the atonement and changing in the last week and I've got a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head. I don't think I will be able to adequately be able to formulate them in this email, but it's been amazing to note the ways in which I have changed. The power that the atonement has to change us, change our attitudes, our thoughts, our habits and to heal us our hearts is truly incredible. But so much of it has to do with our agency and our actions. The atonement can have just as much power in our lives as we let it, but we have to choose it, and we have to work for it.

This journey is not easy. My mission has not been easy. It has been the most challenging thing I have ever done. But I chose to come and I choose to be here every day, and not just to be here, but to invest here - in myself as well as in the people all around me. I have made countless mistakes, but I choose to be better and overcome. Then the atonement makes that choice a possibility for me and erases the imperfect past. The process is continual but can be easily reversed if we are not careful. A good seminary teacher once explained it to me using the example of walking up a downward-moving escalator. If we stop walking for even a second, we get pulled down. Now, I don't know if you have ever actually tried walking up the "down" escalator, but I was a little dare-devil of a child and I have. To make any upward progress, you really have to be moving, almost running, in a constant effort to overcome the
down-moving stairs. It's hard and sometimes you fall. But just as in the battle against satan, if we keep a constant eye on the goal and never stop fighting, we will all make it home.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - no matter where in the world you are serving (Guatemala, Belgium!!)

Love you,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #74 - February 15, 2011

2011-02-24T12:30:00.034-07:00

Hey loves,

¡Feliz día del cariño! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! What a great week it was right? Well we had a fun day yesterday in Managua, all of the sister missionaries at Presidents house with Hna. Arredonde. We basically had a girl party - doing yoga, learning how to straighten our hair without any electrical appliance, playing volleyball, making lasagna, talking, taking pictures, eating cheesecake, and laughing lots. It was a really fun day. At the end, we even got our own private question & answer session with Pres. Arredondo. Can I just tell you how much I love and admire that man? And Hna. Arredondo as well. They are just gems of people. Well, that is the reason I'm writing a day late.

Sister's Conference

Oh, and before I forget, I'm coming home March 17th. I don't know what time yet, but that is the date. Crazy that they already have my homecoming talk scheduled... Man, I don't even want to think about giving that talk. My english is so bad. I was talking to some of the new hermanas in english yesterday and I was surprized at how much I get stuck and tongue tied. Just promise not to laugh at me too much...

Well, this week we had a miracle and also a big disappointment. It cause me to ponder a lot. Okay, so first for the story. You know about Felix y Ruth, our part member family that couldn't be completed because Felix was waiting on the okay from the prophet to be baptized... well, thursday afternoon I got a phone call from the AP telling me that they had received a letter from the first presidency that Felix could be baptized. I was ecstatic. We ran to Felix's house to tell him and he was thrilled too, even though his wife seemed a little apathetic. Well, he just needed an interview with the mission president, so friday early-morning we all went to Managua and everything went great. He passed his interview and although we had the baptismal date for the 19th, President said that we should baptize him the next day, Saturday the 12th. Felix agreed and we set a time.

Well, that pretty much took up our whole day on Friday and what time we had left, we prepared for the baptism. We went back to his house at about 7 just to check with him and make sure everything was set, but he was asleep. His wife said everything was fine. Well, Saturday morning we got there early and found Ruth alone with the babies. Felix was gone. She said that he had woken up feeling a little sick and that the babies were sick too and that they didn't have any money to buy food because Felix had gone to Managua with us instead of working on Friday so he had gone to work (tricycle taxi). I couldn't believe it. I was praying for a way to find Felix and talk to him and while we were there with Ruth, he showed up. He said he was sorry, and that he wasn't feeling good, but asked if we could have the baptism later in the day. So we set another time. When we went back for the second time, he wasn't there again but showed up shortly after and we had to convince Ruth to come because she had a lot of clothes to wash. Well, he finally got baptized and the service was really nice.

Well, to make a long story a little bit shorter, on Sunday we went to his house three times before sacrament meeting, the first time at 6:45am and the last at about 9:10am, then again after sacrament meeting, and then one more time after church at lunch time, and never found him. We even went to find his mom's house because Ruth said that he might be there.

Well, I was pretty devastated that he wasn't able to be confirmed to say the least and it made me ask myself why. We were even fasting so that he could be baptized and confirmed and that everything would work out well. He had been waiting for months to be baptized and was so excited when we told him the news. We did everything we could think to do to help him and he wasn't confirmed. I have had many opportunities to ask why things don't work out and why we don't have success when we are doing everything humanly possible to achieve it. Didn't the Lord want Felix to be confirmed this weekend? But I feel like the answer is, of course He did.

The Hermana and a bashful toddler

But the Lord respects our agency so incredibly much that He would never impose His will over ours or over the will of those we are trying to help. Felix made his own choice not to come to church and receive the Holy Ghost on Sunday and hopefully he will be able to receive it next Sunday, but I know that even though it makes me sad, I have to be happy knowing that I did everything I could. I know that this is the Lord's work, but I also know that the Lord respects our agency, and we must respect the agency of others as well. It is heart-breaking when others make poor decisions, when they don't understand, when they reject the gospel, but we cannot let our strength slacken.

I love you all so much and I can't think of better examples of Saints of God, living the gospel, and enjoying all the blessing that it brings. Thank you for being who you are and for being examples for me.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - fighting for salvation and respecting agency.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #73 - February 7, 2011

2011-02-07T17:32:00.001-07:00

Buen Día Vosotros,

How is everyone? Are you all super anxious, waiting for baby Ada? I am too. I was sad not to find pictures of her in my inbox today. But, next week for sure right?

Well, this week I started my last change here in Nicaragua. I am still in Corinto, training again, but this time a Salvadoreña. She is the first companion I've had that is taller than me. Funny huh? I have a feeling that I am going to feel like I shrunk when I get back home. Her name is Hna. Menéndez and she has been a member for just over a year, the only member in her family. She is great. She is one of those girls that is super gorgeous and from far away would be easy to envy, but when you get to know her, she is just so innocent, and kind, absolutely guileless and sweet that it is impossible not to like her instantly. She is still learning a lot about the gospel but her testimony is so pure and real.

Juan and Sunilda got married and baptized this Saturday along with their little daughter Daniela. It was one of the happiest days of my mission. There is just a light around them and now their family is complete. Their oldest son Kervin (26), who has been a less active member for years got up and bore his testimony about how grateful he is to have his family with him in the church. He doesn't feel alone now and now there is a support system in his home. I know that they will all help each other and work together to stay active in the church and go to the temple as soon as they can. I can only dream of being there with them.

We're also teaching the Beteta Family, Carlos and Christian. I think I've already told you a little about them. Christian was in Guatemala almost all last month but now she is back and we're working with them again. They came to church yesterday and I wanted to sing when I saw them walk in. Julio also came to church. He was a man we contacted and turns out is a friend of one of the members. After church he asked us if we could get him a copy of the book of mormon and we told him we'd bring him one later that afternoon. We went and met his wife, Dulce and had a really good lesson with them.

Another of our investigadors is named Nubia. I don't know if I mentioned Edwin and Nubia in the last email, but this week, they separated again. Apparently, he treats her pretty bad. But she came to church and is very positive about the gospel. She wants to change her life.

We have two other new hermanas in the house as well and we've been having a blast. Hna. Ruíz is from El Salvador as well, and Hna. Tacam is from Guatemala. They are hilarious and good workers. Hna. Ruíz organized and cleaned our whole house. I thought it was pretty good, but she is kind of a clean freak like Paige and I'm super glad to have her help in the house. Hna. Tacam is short and chubby, like a little teddy bear. She is the smallest hermana in the mission and just so cute. It was her birthday
yesterday too. I'll attach a picture so you can get to know the gang.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - aiming towards the temple.

Love you a million times over,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #72 - January 31, 2011

2011-01-31T22:02:00.001-07:00

Another week has come and gone. How does that happen so quickly. I wish I could report that Sunilda and Juan got baptized and confirmed yesterday, but the divorce didn't get finalized until today. But they are all set, excited and ready for next Saturday. What a celestial family. They were all in church yesterday, all five (Kervin and Nidia are their two older children and have been less active for a while, but now they're coming back to church) and we also had Felix and Ruth with their three little screaming kids. But they looked so nice and dressed up.

I was kind of sad on Saturday when I found out that we weren't going to have the baptism that day and it really hit me that I only have 6 more Saturdays... yikes. Only six more opportunities to see these people I love enter the waters of baptism and make covenants with the Lord. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt almost a panic in my chest and a sense of urgency that I hadn't felt quite that strongly before. I don't feel like I have wasted time on my mission, but I felt a renewed energy to use every second wisely and work even harder to bring these people to Christ. I don't know what will happen with changes. I don't think I will be leaving Corinto, and if I do, I will be really sad, but I know that the Lord will put me where He needs me most and where I will learn and grow the most.

A couple of days ago I tried a raw clam. It was super salty and super fishy and all around super nasty. We were helping the bishop and his family make ceviche - or seafood cocktail - with raw fish, clams, and shrimp. They say that the lime juice cooks it. Okay, that's fine. I actually tried the finished product as well and really liked it, but the raw squiggly little guy that I just popped into my mouth right out of his shell... I won't be doing that again. My job was taking the clams, after the bishop had opened the shell, and scraping them out into a big bowl. There were a whole lot of clams. Anyway, it was a fun experience. I eat a lot of fish here, and clams and shrimp every once and a while too. And last night, Hna. Cunningham gave us each a little loaf of coconut bread. ¡Que RICO! I don't know if she will give me that secret recipe but it was delicious. You must think I'm hungry from how much I've been talking about food...

So here in Corinto the people are really interesting. I don't know any other place in the world where the men (straight men) pluck their eyebrows and the women don't even shave their legs. Very strange, very strange. But I am enjoying the culture and getting to know these beautiful people. They are all children of God, my own brothers and sisters and as I look at them, I think of Paige, Alison and William. There isn't much I wouldn't do to help my sisters and my little brother. As I contact new people on the street, I try to imagine that I am contacting you guys, and giving you the gopel that has blessed our lives so inexplicably. We all lived together once and fought side by side for our chance to come to earth. Now we are here together and we walk by each other as strangers. Why can't we remember? We must remember. With all their oddities, weaknesses, and errors these people belong to me and I must take care of them, we fought together once and now it's my turn to fight for them.

Thanks for your support and prayers in my behalf and in behalf of those I'm fighting for. Thank you for your good lives and your good examples. You are a strength to me. I can't wait to hear about and see pictures of the new little person in our lives that should be arriving shortly. Ada Lou, I love you.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - fighting for our brothers and sisters.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #71 - January 25, 2011

2011-01-27T16:41:00.004-07:00

Just to let you know, I'm going to write the real letter tomorrow because we got back so late again and we don't have time right now. Just didn't want you to worry, but you're probably getting used to this bad habit of writing a day late. Okay so here are just a couple pictures of Sunilda y Juan and another family that we're teaching named Felix y Ruth.

Felix y Ruth

Sunilda y Juan. Sunilda and Juans son in the back is named Kervin and the daughter is Daniela. She is going to get baptized this week too if all works out right

We played soccer today and went to Presidents house to celebrate the great success of the choir. He also took us to a great mexican food restaurant. It was another P-day of traveling to and from Managua, but always great to be with Presidente and the missionaries. And oh how I love mexican food.

Tomorrow I'll tell you about the conference which was amazing. Pray for Sunilda y Juan to get baptized this weekend. Okay loves. Until tomorrow.

Okay,

Sorry for the teaser email, but I didn't want to let you down by not sending one on Monday. We got back late and the plan was to still write but when we got to the cyber they were closing and only gave us half an hour to write, so now we'll see what I can pump out in the other half hour. Really the best thing this week was the conference.

The missionaries in the choir had to go to Managua on Thursday to practice one more time Thursday night and then be there early Friday morning. Which meant that we left Corinto at about 2:00pm and after the practice we stayed with the hermanas in Ciudad Jardin! It was fun to be there in my old house with Hna. Cano and Hna. Rippstein (her new comp) and also Hna. Willford, Hna. Avila, and Hna. López. We had a great slumber party and I got a nice surprise when the Medina Family showed up at the door to say hi! It was so lovely to see them. I don't know how they found out that I was staying there. Actually, I had wanted to go out and visit a bunch of people but we got back too late from the practice, so I was feeling a little sad.

I don't know if I told you that Aldo y Karla got baptized a week and a half ago! I am so happy for them. And Norlan and Maryuri are getting baptized this Saturday. Hopefully Sunilda y Juan también, so basically, even though I couldn't/can't be there in Ciudad Jardin to see those two families get baptized, my heart is full to overflowing that they are entering the waters of baptism and making those covenants with the Lord that will bless their lives forever.

Friday morning we were all excited, waiting for the apostle to come and Pres. Arredonde had asked us all to prepare questions for him. Before he arrived, we were all seated and pondering, listening to the prelude music and when Elder Christofferson walked in we all stood and sang We Thank Thee Oh God for a Prophet. It was such a powerful feeling and the spirit was strong as we walked up one by one to shake his hand and look into his eyes.

Elder Falabella, Elder Duarte, and Hna. Christofferson also spoke briefly. Some things I liked from their remarks were the emphasis on the habits we are making in the mission and continuing to do these things after we get home, that these things are for all our lives, not just good ideas for missionaries. Elder Falabella said that a habit forgotten was never a habit, it was an obligation. Hna. Christofferson made a really good remark about being ready to receive all that the Lord wants to give us. We only receive according to what we are ready to receive. The question is, how much do we want? She talked about our study time in the morning and how important it is to be immursed in the scriptures. How much are we spiritually prepared to receive? And that the "word of God" is not limited to written scriptures, it also means personal revelation. We receive the word of God when we receive revelation personal.

Elder Christofferson was magnificent. He spoke humble and simply but testified so powerfully. He let us ask questions for the majority of the time and it was incredible to watch him listen and ponder after a
question was made, waiting for the spirit to reveal the answer. Someone asked (actually it was Elder Goodman, jaja) how we can know if we have really been converted on the mission. I thought it was a very good question and the answer was so beautiful. He talked about having the spirit in your life and
being able to recognize it as a good sign of conversion, but then he started talking about the Savior and doing the will of the Father. He said that when a person has removed every motive from his life except that of doing the will of our Father in Heaven, they have achieved true conversion. He went on to say that if Christ's one true motive was not doing the will of the Father, He would not have been able to complete the atonement.

He said that when we return home, we will be able to note the difference in our conversion, but we will not have yet arrived. It is a life-time process. He said that to keep our families of converts in the mission and our families at home strong, we should help them to understand the gift of the Holy Ghost and it's role in our lives. He said that they have to keep doing the things that they did to plant the seed in their hearts in the first place. The process described in Alma 32 has to continue after baptism and throughout our lives.

He bore testimony that the Lord is personally guiding this church and that He is an active leader, there each day guiding in very specific ways. The Lord takes care of this church because it is the most important organization on the earth. He bore powerful testimony of the Savior and of our magnificent callings as missionaries, preaching with His power and authority and in His name. He also left us with an apostolic blessing to receive the gift of faith in a greater profundity, that we will feel more deeply His love and that as we preach in His name, we will feel it. He also blessed us to achieve celestial marriages and eternal families and to be faithful servants of the Lord throughout the rest of our lives, and that His angels will guide us and keep us on the path to eternal life. Those were just the blessings that my heart was longing to hear.

He finished all too soon, and as we sang the closing song I was left wishing he would speak again. Unfortunately I didn't get my wish but he did allow us to take pictures with him zone by zone. It was great.

The other best thing was the FHE that we had with Sunilda y Juan last night. After leaving the cyber we ran to their house because we were about 15 minutes late and we found them with their scriptures and hymn book out, just about to start. Wow. Sunilda had planned down to the hymns and the refreshment. I have never been in an FHE so well planned and so spiritually rich. I was left with my jaw dropped. She had picked a lesson from the book Principles of the Gospel about the life of our Savior, Jesus Chist and had all the scriptures marked with little papers. The comments of the family, explaining the scriptures was so amazing. We said very little, just adding a comment here and there. Basically they taught us lesson three, the gospel of Jesus Christ right down to enduring to the end and the importance of baptism. Um... I think... they're ready. I just am praying that the divorce will finalize so that they can get married!!!

Anyway, my time is up but I just love you all to pieces. I love my mission. I can't believe all the amazing experiences I am having and the ways that these people are changing my life. I don't know what I would have done without this experience. I don't even want to think about it.. hahaha.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - period.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #70 - January 18, 2011

2011-01-20T17:37:00.002-07:00

Hey! Glad to hear you got the all the stuff. I really don't have any time this week. It's been hard having to travel to Managua on Mondays to practice for the musical number we're doing for Elder Christofferson this week, but the conference is on Friday so hopefully next Monday we will actually have a normal P-day.

Just to tell you a couple of highlights... We had an awesome activity for the recient converts on the beach and it was a great success. We played games (water balloon volleyball and others) and had a testimony meeting around a bonfire. It was wonderful to hear the testimonies of the recient converts, some of which were sharing their testimonies for the first time in their lives. It was a great spiritual and faith building experience for them. Then on Saturday, the elders from Chinandega came to Corinto with their investigators and we had a baptismal service on the beach. I was sad that we didn't have anyone ready to be baptized, but hopefully we will on the 29th, when we do the activity again. It was really beautiful though.

Okay, now to answer your questions. The ward is doing pretty good. We've made some good progress and now we just need to really follow up well so that they keep up the energy and develope good habits. They had a leadership training meeting with the stake this week but I still want to organize an activity for leaders and really get them going strong. Maybe next Friday.

Sunilda is still awesome, but Juan broke my heart this weekend because he got drunk on Saturday and didn't come to church. But we had a great Family Home Evening with them at the bishops house yesterday and they are still progressing. We contacted a bunch of new families on Saturday but we haven't had appointments with them yet. As soon as I'm done writing we're going to see a family named Justo and María. They seemed really positive so I hope they're there.

We go into Chinandega on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and sometimes on Monday to do stuff as a zone for P-day. We just take a little micro-bus and get there in about 20 minutes. Here in Corinto we get around on our feet. It's pretty small. It actually reminds me a lot of Nagarote. We also go in Bixi (tricycles) sometimes when we're short on time. I'll take a picture of one if I remember. In Corinto we're four missionaries. All sisters. But in Chinandega there are like ten and in Chichigalpa there are about 6. I am pretty sure there are 20 in our zone. Chichigalpa is another town on the other side of Chinandega.

As far as health goes, I'm feeling really good. Just sad about my once lovely hair that now is pretty sad. It is still falling out but not quite as much as before. But my little pony-tail just makes me cry. I think I'm going to cut it short when I get home. Oh well. Hopefully it will grow back right?

Well, sorry for an informative but not very spiritual email. I love you all endlessly and can't wait to see your faces so soon.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - building up zion, one drunk at a time.

Love,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #69 - January 10, 2011

2011-01-12T14:24:00.002-07:00

Dear Family,

Thanks for the emails this week. I'm grateful to have such an amazing family. Happy Birthday to Grandma Donna!!! I'm glad you all got to get together and celebrate and enjoy each other's company. I'm looking forward to more days like that in a few months. I think that Paige needs to follow the tradition and name the baby Ada Louise. It seems like a pretty great pattern to me.

This week I have more to tell you about than I have time. Sad story.. The highlights are that after a lot of hard work and patience, we achieved a bishopric meeting and consequently a great ward council meeting. The organizations haven't been really functioning for a little while now and it's time to get the ward up and running again. It's a little bit amazing to me to think of how the church runs like an oiled machine in my home ward and how I have taken that for granted all my life. Here, it is a battle to get the members to have their meetings, and basically take care of each other and work in unity. I've been working a lot with the leaders and I have high hopes that we can make some lasting changes. Really it starts with a vision. Each leader needs to have a vision of what they want their ward or organization to look like, then they can set the right goals and make the necessary plans to accomplish those goals. And on top of it all, they need to have a personal commitment to their plan and the diligence (and patience) to follow up and keep going when the run up against problems, because the problems are many.

We are teaching a wonderful family, the family Roque (Sunilda and Juan) and they are progressing really well. They came to the activity we had on Sunday where we showed the film The Testaments and Juan was crying at the end. He said what a powerful film it was and how it had really touched his heart. I'm just hoping his divorce can go through quickly so that they can be baptized this month. We found a couple of new families this week and I'm excited to go to the appointments and get to know them and help them start progressing.

I'm just in awe of how truly white the field is. There is only one road to Corinto from the closest city of Chinandega and it's a beautiful and inspiring drive. Along both sides of the road, there are sugar cane fields and right now, the grass is high with the white heads of grain blowing in the wind. When the sun streams through in the early morning on the way to district meetings or in the evening as the sun is setting, it nearly brings tears to my eyes to have such a beautiful physical representation of the marvellous work of the Lord. And those who serve in this great work are laying up salvation to their own souls. The Lord brought me here to give me the chance to save my own soul, an amazing opportunity to save my own life and to change in ways that I wouldn't have been able to otherwise. I can't express my gratitude for that gift and for the infinite and eternal gift of the atonement that makes salvation possible.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - la sembra es nuestra, pero la cosecha es de Él.

Love,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #68 - January 3, 2011

2011-01-04T11:45:00.004-07:00

Dear Fam,

This week was pretty hectic with new years and all the drinking and the fireworks and the burning of "el viejo" that accompanies it. We are teaching a young couple, the family Beteta, named Carlos and Christian (yes, Christian is a girl). We are trying to help Carlos stop drinking and get them married so they can be baptized at the end of this month. Unfortunately the festivities haven't been helping and we couldn't get them to church this week. But we did have an investigator named Enrique who came up to us after the class and told us that he wants to keep studying with us and if he recieves an answer, we can expect him every week in church. We put a baptismal date with him on the spot.

We are also teaching the family Roque, named Sunilda and Juan José. Juan José also has a drinking problem and we have had a couple of funny lessons with him. He kept saying "WOW, que fascinante!" to everything we were teaching. He also likes to talk a lot about the war. He said he signed up because he didn't want to live anymore but although he made it through all the fighting, I think it left him pretty emotionally scarred. However, Sunilda is awesome and has been to church both last week and this week and even came to be a part of the choir (we're starting a ward choir). We left her a pamphlet of lesson one and when we went back to teach her and asked her what she understood from what she had read, she taught the whole lesson to us, right down to the Aaronic and Melchizedek priesthood. They have both recieved the lessons before but it has been quite a few years. Their oldest son, Kervin who's about 22, is a less-active member. They also need to get married but the hold up is that Juan José has to get divorced first. That is probably going to be a bit expensive... thanks for the Christmas money! :)

Well there is a funny tradition here that they do for new years. It's the burning of the oldy, kind of an out with the old, in with the new idea. They all make these viejos that remind me a ton of halloween, with the jeans and the shirt stuffed with newspaper, old shoes, old gloves for hands, some with hats, some with wigs, many with empty bottles of alcohol and all ready to be sacrificed. The idea is to burn the old year and leave behind all the problems and bad things that happened. Unfortunately we couldn't see the smorgaspor because we were fast asleep in our beds (despite the barage of fireworks), but we did take some pictures of our favorite viejos for your viewing pleasure.

kissing a smoking viejo

teaching a drunk viejo

A point of sadness. Our beach running got nixed. And with it, all my motivation to exercise.

So we are forming another choir because this month Elder Christofferson is coming. Today we got up really early and went to Managua to practice. I also got my hands on a flute (miracle) that belongs to some really awesome members here close in Chinandega. It was fun practicing with the other missionary singers and to see some of my good friends here in the mission and especially seeing Hna. Cano and learning about how everyone is doing in Ciudad Jardin. This Sunday they had 7 investigators in Church including Aldo y Karla and Maryuri y Norlan! They all have baptismal dates for this month and are doing really well. I was so excited to hear it. Also Oscar, who we had been working with forever and ever finally comitted himself to a set date, Jan 22. And last week they baptized an investigator named Juan who we found just before I left. I'm glad that things are progressing there. Corinto has such a different feel from Managua. I love this little town. It's a lot prettier and a lot safer. There's not a bunch of trash and traffic. It's just all around a much more laid back place and it's a nice break. Not from the work, just from the city life. I never was much of a city girl.

Hey, this week an Elder who finished his mission in August, came back to visit with his parents and I got to talking to them on Sunday. Turns out that Elder Burrows dad (I didn't catch his first name) knows mom. Hahaha.. everyone knows mom! No, but I gues you went to high school together. Anyway, he took a picture of us and is going to put it up on facebook. They were also kind enough to loan me an empty suitcase of theirs, because they brought down a few extra suitcases with clothes and things to give away, and I loaded it up with things I wanted to send home, that I won't be using in the next few months. So that will lighten my load a lot. I also sent Dad's machete with it. I hope it gets through the airport security. Let me know when you get the stuff and also when you get the Christmas cards and package I sent.

Well this is getting long, but I just have to tell you that being a missionary is the best thing in the world - I've never been so happy.

I love you all so much and hope everyone had an enchanting time welcoming in the new year. As we set our goals and make our new years resolutions, I hope we can always remember that every day is a day of changes. It's not just once a year that we should evaluate our lives and make the necessary changes to become more like our Savior. Let's all be more like Him everyday.

Love,

Hna. Crosland

us with Hna. Cunningham, originally from the atlantic coast

new years dinner (nacatamales) with the bishop and his family

Hna. Winter, Hna. Contreras, yours truly

the kitchen

our bedroom

our patio in the new house, including our coconut tree

Letter #67 - December 27, 2010

2010-12-31T12:57:00.002-07:00

Hey everybody!

I feel like we just talked... oh wait, we did! How great it was to talk to all of you and feel like I was a part of you for a little while on Christmas. I started remember Christmas things and what it might be like to be there relaxing with family. But it acutally didn't make me homesick. It seems like a completely different universe, or like the pleasant dream of a far off place in a fairy tale that I someday hope to visit. I'm glad that you are all doing well and enjoying each other's company. It is so lovely to know that I have a family that loves to be together.

So to fill in those that I didn't talk to on Saturday, I had changes this week and I am now re-opening an area and training. We are in the port town of Corinto in the northwest of Nicarauga (if you wanted to find it on google earth). Corinto is a pretty clean town compared to Manauga and it's quaint, with few cars and a lot of tricyclos (three-wheeled bicycle taxis). They eat a lot of fish and clams and everything from the sea, and it just has that easy going, care-free feel of costal people. Our house is really close to the church and the beach is only two blocks away. It's fun to see the ocean even though we can't take a dip. And I found out that Corinto is actually where all the cruise ships come, so Grandma Donna will have to double check her cruise stops and what days she'll be in Nicaragua. It is actually hotter here than in Managua. I didn't think there was a hotter place on earth than Managua, but I was wrong. Well they threw me into the fire to finish my mission and I'm going to "echar fuego" (throw fire) here in Corinto and go out with a bang.

It has been fun trying to get to know a new place and contacting a lot of new people while trying to find ourselves. I've been carrying my guitar around and we had some fun starting our contacts with a christmas hymn. One time, we saw an old couple sitting in front of there house so we went over to talk to them. There was a fiesta just finishing up next door and it was
a little loud, but we started asking them how they were doing anyway. The abuelitos said that things were regular, not good, but not bad either and I told them that we brought them a song to lift their spirits. As we started to sing, the mańs face lit up, and the woman lifted her head and started to smile. Soon the people leaving the fiesta were shushing each other and
turning to listen too. We had a good crowd all quiet and listening to us and were able to contact and teach them a little, setting up appointments to come back later on in the week. The power of music to lift hearts is truly amazing and the way it facilitates so freely the spirit opens doors that otherwise wouldn't be available.

Hna. Winter has a really pretty voice and actually holds her own part pretty well so we've been able to have some fun harmonizing. She's the first companion I've been able to do that with. Hna. Winter is from Guatemala even though her name comes from Germany (great grandpa) and she is white with black hair. I'll have to send some pictures next week because I forgot my camera today. She is excited to work and to learn and she really wants to be a great missionary and follow the rules. She is a little on the moon sometimes, the scatter-brained type and almost too sweet, but we're going to have fun and I know she is going to be an amazing missionary. We are also living with Hna. Contreras from El Salvador and she is working with one of the members right now, María José, because we have an odd number of sisters. They are both great and it's nice to have them to help us and show us around the area. We actually have two seperate areas, both in the same ward. The ward seems pretty strong, with an average attendance of about 115, but the leaders seems a little tired, a little disanimated. But we're going to put in the batteries and get everyone charged up for the new year.

Mom, thanks for your sweet testimony. It brought tears to my eyes. I rarely cry now when I'm teaching or bearing my testimony. I remember this time last year when I really couldn't even open my mouth without tears, I was so tender. But it's not that I don't have tender feelings about the gospel anymore, really they are deeper and more profound. And they are accompanied with experience. I know that Christ lives. He suffered beyond human comprehension and took upon himself all the wickedness and confusion and darkness and pain that the human heart can experience. Then he rose from that abismal and triumphed over death and sin, freeing us all from their bondage if we will but humble ourselves before Him and seek His will. I know that in our darkest and most difficult hours, we are very close to the Savior and that as we reach out and up to take His hand, He will guide us into the light again. That is the plan, it is the good news. Christ restored his complete gospel with all that we need to achieve our exhaultation through the Prophet Joseph Smith. His is an extraordinary story of faith and perserverance, never wavering even until the end of his extraordinary life. Because of the diligence of that faithful man, the blessings of the priesthood are again available on the earth and the ordinances of the temple have been restored. We have a living prophet today who counsels with the Lord to guide His work on the earth. If we heed his words, we will never go astray.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - being a special witness of Christ during Christmas was never sweeter.

Love,
Hna. Crosland

P.S. I sent a package home and a few Christmas cards this week. Sorry so late. The package has a few articles of clothing, shirt for Will (light blue button-up) and shirt for Ali (awesome baseball jersey) and a nighty for Mom. I got Dad a machete but they wouldn't let me mail it. So he'll just have to wait a little while, along with Mike and Paige. Sorry. But I hope the Christmas cards get to you this week, even though they missed Christmas. LOVE YOU!

Letter #66 - December 20, 2010

2010-12-27T10:07:00.004-07:00

HEY!

I can't believe about the provo tabernacle! I am so sad!! I hope they can rebuild/remodel it. I have so many memories in that building.

This week was full of choir practices and performances for me too. We worked so hard with the ward members and were able to present our ward Christmas cantata friday night with about 8 differente himns and it turned out really well. I was really happy because it gave an opportunity to some of the choir members who have family members who aren't members of the church, to invite them and present something really nice and spiritual. The wife of Hno. Guillermo and the mom of Marjourie, a recient convert came along with a few others and they seemed to be really touched. Neither of them are very receptive to the church and mabye they still don't want to come on Sunday or recieve the missionaries, but I know a seed was planted and that they were able to feel the spirit in the chapel. That is a big step.

It was so fun to see the ward members get all prepared and coordinate what they were going to wear and buy red and green folders for the music. The bishop's wife even made beautiful christmas badges with ribbon, fake leaves and white flowers for everone. We were all unified and proud of the work we had done. Yesterday was the presentation of the stake and each ward choir did a number or two. We were all excited and sang two of our best numbers. It all went really well and even though the choirs were far from professional, the spirit was felt and you could really see the effort that every ward put into organizing and preparing their choir. All in all, it was a great experience that I will never forget and I am so grateful for the talents that the Lord blessed me with to be able to share a wonderful experience with our ward members. They were all so grateful and everyone felt so proud of what we accomplished and how nice it turned out.

The other good news is that Aldo came to church this week and Norlan stopped drinking. We had some really good lessons with Norlan and his companion about faith and repentence and he has been reading in Alma from 32 to about 39. I love that Norlan loves to read the book of mormon. We leave him a chapter and he not only reads the assigned chapter, sometimes twice, but then keeps reading and he always points out his favorite scriptures to us. The bad thing is that he couldn't come to church this week, but we also have the problem of his divorce, so his baptism is still out a little ways, but I am so happy that he is back on track.

Sorry to be short but today is a little crazy. I love you all so much!

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - sharing the best of ourselves.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #65 - December 13, 2010

2010-12-14T09:57:00.002-07:00

Thank you for your birthday wishes. My birthday was great. I had more fotos to send you but I forgot my camera.... oops, until next week. I got many birthday wishes from the ward members and even a few gifts. They are so sweet. And I was invited to a birthday lunch and dinner. Actually we've been invited to eat at members houses all week, which has been perfect because the Medina family was gone and with them, our normal food appointment. But the Lord has taken super good care of us. I also tried Mondongo for the first time this week. Mondongo is cow stomach and it is just as nasty as it sounds (fotos coming soon). But basically it looks like carpet and tastes nasty. I'm not quite sure why people eat it, but whatever.

News with investigators is not so great this week. After some amazing lessons with Norlan and Maryuri, they didn't show up for church last week and then on Tuesday, we found Norlan drunk. He has been drunk this whole week even though we've been stopping by his house nearly every day. The frustrating part is that his wife says that he hadn't had a drink in over two years and right when we found him and started teaching him and his family, Satan had to pull the rug out from under them. So frustrating.

We also weren't able to teach Aldo y Karla until Sunday night even though we also passed by their house everyday this week as well. After the great experience with them at the Chirstmas devotional, we wanted to follow up with them quickly and strike while the iron was hot, but no such luck. They were always gone or too busy to receive us.

The Purisima didn't help matters either this week. Tuesday, Wednesday and even Thursday the streets were full of people singing praises to the Virgen and each house hadconstructed a fancy schmancy alter with flashy lights and the Virgen María prominent. I wanted to take pictures of them and the people were thrilled to be asked if we could take a picture of their shrine. It's a tradition to give out things for the Purisima to those that come and sing at your shrine and after one of the pictures I took, the man gave us a little gift...oops, I was purisima-ing. Bad missionary. But the festivities made it really hard to proselyte and Tuesday night we even had to go in early. Elder Figueroa had part of a burning firecracker land on his head and it caught his hair on fire! I wish I had seen it. I was pretty much dying of laughter as he showed me his singed scalp. Crazy catholics. Hopefully this week we can help Norlan stop drinking so he can really start progressing and Aldo and Karla will get more involved. We invited them to a bunch of activities this week in the church and they are all in the evening when they are a little more free with time. They are always really positive when we teach them, they just can't stop being work-aholics. We really need to get some investigators progressing right now. Seems like the Christmas season should be the best season to find more open and willing people, but here it is just the opposite.

We had our mission Christmas activity/conference today and it was so good. Each zone prepared a hymn (the ones we prepared went splendidly) and the program was really nice. Then we played outside with a few big blow-up obstacle courses and water balloons and dodge ball. And I participated in the watermelon eating contest... and WON! Well it was only me and one other elder because they did a whole bunch, just two at a time. But I won. Yep, turns out that besides being a really good balloon player, I'm I really good watermelon eater. We couldn't use our hands and I had watermelon juice all over my face and up my nose. Salvaje. It was fun. Then we had a big banquet and swapped gifts and Presidente and Hermana Arredondo closed with a few words. It was really wonderful, especially when Presidente and his family sang. They have a singing family too and it was a good moment for me to remember singing with my family at Christmas.

This Christmas we are far from each other once again, but truly I am grateful. I can't imagine myself in any other place, doing any other thing this Christmas. The best gift that we can give the Lord is the very best of ourselves. I am not much. I don't have many talents or much charm. My spanish is far from perfect and my teaching skills are average. But this Christmas season, I am giving my all to the Lord, the very best that I have. And I am going to see what His hands can make of it and watch the miracles unfold. We are here to serve, not ourselves, but all those around us. There are so many looking for love and that is exactly what we have to offer, the pure love of the Savior that never runs out or wears out. I can't think of a more perfect and beautiful gift. And we are armed with it always. Don't forget what you have to give, it's everything.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - we have everything to give and nothing to lose.

Love,

Your favorite hermana in Nicaragua
Hna. Crosland

Letter #64 - December 6, 2010

2010-12-08T17:16:00.009-07:00

Hello dear family and friends,

First off, before I forget. I heard Ali has red hair. That is awesome. So does Hna. Cano. Well, it's not that red now because she had to darken it before her mission but she told me that she always dyes her hair red. I also saw aunt Ruth in the Christmas devotional and I'm loving her dark hair. I don't know if it's new, but it looked a lot darker to me and I just kept thinking how pretty it was. So congrats for having cool hair. You will all need to help me with mine when I arrive... yikies. Speaking of hair, my hair has been falling out in fist-fulls and I'm starting to get worried. I know I'm stressed but do you think that is all it is? I'm going to come home bald. Well, enough about that.

making a magic herbal hair treatment from a plant that grows on Hna. Medina's fence

Tony was baptized this week and it was really special. He is so awesome. The elders also had a baptism too and we bought a cake to celebrate with them. We have been fasting and praying to find and baptize a family this month. We just dropped Juan y Iliana. They just weren't progressing. And we could never find Aldo y Karla.

the baptismal crew and cake

me, Tony, Hna. Cano

Then on Wednesday, the office elders called with a reference named Norlan. We dropped our other plans and went to look for him that afternoon, finding him outside of his house talking to his friend Luis, who happened to be the member that referred him. How sweet is that? So we met him and his family and set an appointment to come back the next day. We brought Hno. Jimmy along and had a really positive lesson with him and his wife Maryuri, where we left him with a book of mormon and a commitment to read Moroni 10. We set another appoinment with them for Friday and when we arrive he had not only read and understood Moroni 10, but had started from the beginning and was asking us questions about Nefi and his family. Wow. We commited him and his wife to a baptismal date for the 18th of December and they were all excited to come to church with us this Sunday. Hno. Jimmy was going to pass by to bring them. Well, Sunday morning, they were nowhere to be found. I was crushed. We didn't have a single family of investigators in church. Lame, lame, lame.

But I was determined to take a family to the Christmas devotional so after choir practice we set out to find one. We decided to stop by and see if Aldo y Karla were home. I didn't have high hopes, but we went anyway. We found them. Both of them. And they weren't busy. That never happens. We had a slight problem because they had promised to take their kids to the little neighborhood circus but we sat teaching them and getting them excited to meet the prophet and go to the devotional and in the end they decided to come. At the same time, Jennyfer Medina called and said that her dad had just gotten back from Rivas and still had the mission car and would give us a ride to the broadcast. How perfect! Jennyfer had accompanied us a couple of times with Aldo y Karla so they already knew each other. We all packed into the truck and headed off.

Greetings from the missionaries of Ciudad Jardin (E. Pinzòn, Hna. Cano, me, E. Figueroa)

I couldn't help feeling in the clouds. And then the Christmas devotional was just so amazing. And all the members who came were happy and inviting and inclusive. Are all mormons like that? Karla asked. Yep, and you will be too, replied Hna. Medina. Haha. I just love that lady. When we dropped them off, Karla asked us when we could come back to teach them. She didn't want to wait until Tuesday so we made an appointment for tonight. I'm so excited for them. They really loved the experience. Now we just need to get them to sacrament meeting and put them in the water. They are a really special family. I still haven't given up on Norlan y Maryuri, and we're going to stop by tonight to see what happened to them and keep teaching them. Ah, teaching the gospel to families is such a beautiful and amazing experience.

greetings from Zona Bello Horizonte

Tonight we are having a birthday dinner with the Medina family. They are going to be in Guatemala for Jimmy Jr.'s wedding all this week. How awesome for them. Man, I miss the temple. I think I will cry when they announce the Managua, Nicaragua temple. These people are so humble and ready for the gospel, and even though the work seems slow at times, I know that the Lord is preparing many hearts. He goes with us always. I'm grateful for this beautiful season and for the chance to keep the Savior even closer to my heart and in my mind. Walking the streets and spreading His peace and joy makes me feel close to Him. It is what He did while He was here.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - there is sunshine in my soul today.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Perro Sonpopo, our friend gecko

Letter #63 - November 29, 2010

2010-11-30T09:12:00.005-07:00

Hello one and all,

Glad to hear that you had a great Thanksgiving break. Once again, I didn't realize it was Thanksgiving day until about 8pm and so avoided thinking about all of the delicious food and turkey that I wasn't eating all day. I did eat some beans and rice and cheese though, accompanied by a large glass of pinolillo. ¡Que rico! Dinner is always pretty light, but Hna. Maritza makes big lunches and all her food is delicious. I told her to start making me a recipe book of all my favorite dishes. The trick will be finding all the right fruits and veggies and seasonings back in the states.

The Medina family is busy getting ready for their son's wedding on Pearl Harbor Day and then the trip to the temple on my Birthday. We wish we could be part of the festivities (and especially the temple trip) but we're excited for them just the same.

I wish I could tell you that Aldo and Karla are progressing, but they are so busy working all the time that we haven't even been able to teach them and they haven't come to church. We also had a slight hang up with Toni, but his baptism is scheduled for this coming Saturday. We found out last minute that Toni's Dad, a member of the church, although less-active, wanted Toni to wait another year or so before getting baptized. But we talked to him and helped him see the importance of baptism and especially the Holy Ghost for Toni and he gave his permission.

We're still working with Iliana and Juan, although they are coming along really slowly. They couldn't come to church this week, but Iliana came last week and they both said they would come next week. Well I've heard that a million times (literally), so we'll see if they really start making progress or if we'll have to leave them. The search for the next golden family continues and we have the goal to baptize two families in December.

The hard part about this time of year is that is the month of Catholic fiestas and processions, and chanting at the virgin María and everyone is drinking all the time. The weekends are horrible and the firecrackers and bottle-rockets and fireworks have started again and are in full swing. I remember when I first got here and I thought how weird it was that everyone was lighting off firecrackers at all hours of the day and night, every single day. I thought the country was crazy. Now I know that it's not a year round thing, just Nov, Dec, Jan thing. Haha. They almost don't make me jump and put me tense now, only a little bit.

The ward and missionary choirs that I'm trying to pull off are starting to sound pretty good. I've been drilling the parts with them, sometimes without a piano, which is a little bit tricky, but I improvise and lucky I have pretty good pitch. We have our ward Christmas cantata planned for Friday night, December 17 and then saturday morning, a service project, cleaning and fixing up some houses of less active members and investigators and taking them a food basket. On Sunday night, Dec 19 we have the stake Christmas program and our ward choir is singing Joy to the World (¡Regocijad!). I don't know exactly when the missionary choir will sing, because they haven't told us when we will be having the Christmas activity of the mission.

The biggest news this week is that we moved houses again. A sweet old lady who is a member of the church and who lives in Los Angeles, California has a house here in the ward as well and she happens to be visiting this month. We visited her at her house and she mentioned that only her sister lived there and she wished that someone else lived there to keep the house and her sister company. Well, the house is pretty nice, relatively speaking, and I jumped right on that offer and told her that we would love to live in her house. Haha, she loved the idea as well and even though we pass most of the day out of the house, she thought it would be a good fit. So this morning we packed everything up and with the help of the Elders, found a guy with a truck who could move us. The house is only about two blocks from our old house so it's still a great location. Hna. Cano and I are still rockin' the streets of Managua with the glory of the gospel and talking to everyone who will listen to us.

The time is starting to feel really short and it's time to sprint to the finish. We fall into our beds exhausted at night, but with smiles on our faces. I try not to let the problems of all those around me get me down, even though sometimes it's hard not to feel a little sad for the suffering of those I have learned to love so much. I'm grateful for the countless lessons that the Lord is teaching me about what it means to be a true disciple and walk the paths he trod. Where else could I learn this?

Through the trials and disappointments, we truly find what we are capable of and what's more, what the Lord is capable of. At times I feel like I'm standing in the dark and I don't want to move forward because I can't see where I need to go. But when I asked the Lord to light the way, He told me instead to put my hand in His, and advance in the darkness. His guiding hand is safer and more sure than a light and I know that when we put our trust in Him and humble ourselves to truly let Him guide us, we will find the way home.

I love you all with all my heart. I hope you know that I pray for you and that my thoughts are with you. May your hearts be filled with peace and warmth (I'm sending you a heat wave straight from Nicaragua), and trust in the Savior this week and always.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - walking hand in hand with the Lord.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #62 - November 22, 2010

2010-11-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

Feliz día de gracias!

Thanksgiving is this week right? I'll miss all the yummy american food, but don't worry, I'm filling my belly just fine with gallo pinto, queso frito, y tajadas. I think the adjustment to the food I ate before the mission is going to be almost just as hard as the adjustment to the typical Nicaraguan diet that I'm now accostumed to. Well, another week has flown by. It's starting to scare me how fast the time is going. I sent some pictures and letter to Nagarote a few days ago with Hno. Jimmy, who has a calling working with Presidente Monestel of the south mission, and he brought back some letters and gifts from my favorite families there. It put me thinking about those first three months in Nicaragua and really who far I've come, how I've changed since then, and really how long it's been.

I was glad to hear from some of my converts and know that they are still strong in the church. The church really struggles there, especially with organization and leadership. It's a fight for the members to keep their branch functioning as it should, but they love the church and although their testimonies are basic, their faith is strong. The branch in Nagarote is actually doing pretty well and progressing since I was there, so that made me really happy. It's easy to look at them and think how far they are from functioning at the level of the church in Utah, but then when I think about the level that God functions at... We are all very far from functioning as a perfect organization and in relation to where God is, we are all nearly at the same level. There is no reason to feel frustrated or hopeless or overwhelmed with the progress of this work. It truly is WORK and thoroughly difficult, but the Lord directs it and we are all learning every day. The important thing is that we never throw in the towel and stop working. We must never tire, we must never give up. Even when the results of all we do seem minimal and to us, don't amount to much. We must press forward, faithfully trusting in Christ. So in all your church service and all you do to strengthen your familiy, don't feel inadequate and don't feel like your work is in vain. It's a long steep hill we are climbing, but we will reach the summit with all those who matter most to us if we strive to lift those around us every day.

We haven't been able to teach Karla since last Sunday because she is super busy and every time we go to visit, she is working. But we put a baptismal date with Aldo last night and he seems really positive. Also, he said that Karla has been ready the book of mormon that we left for her and is already about 20 pages into it. That is an astounding accomplishment for the typical investigator in Nicaragua. I just wish we could actually teach her and answer her questions. But we have another appointment with them tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. I told you about Toni and his cousin Mercedes right? Toni is the son of a less active family in the ward. Toni's uncle gave us the reference of the family and we have been visiting them. Toni is ten years old and he is super smart and loves when we come teach him. The whole family came to church yesterday and he is going to be baptized this saturday. Iliana came as well with her cute little boy and she is doing well. We still haven't been able to convince Juan to come though. We found a neat lady named Teresa that said she really felt the spirit as we sang a christmas hymn with her and we had a really positive lesson, but saturday her mother fell, who must be nearing 70, and Teresa had to go tend to her, outside of Managua. I hope she can return soon so we can keep teaching her.

The elders are all settled in and we are having a lot of fun with them in the ward. It's really nice to be sharing the ward and working a smaller area. And the Elders are a lot of fun. Elder Figueroa is really funny and a really straight arrow at the same time. He likes to do things right but has a ton of personality and is always making us laugh. And Elder Pinzón has one of the purest hearts of anyone I've ever met. He seems a little slow and sometimes his comments don't have anything to do with anything, but he always makes us laugh as well and hasn't a trace of guile. It's fun to be in the season of Navidad and to see people start putting up their lights and chirstmas trees. It's still a little weird without the snow, and I have serious snow withdrawels, especially because it's so blasted hot all the time, but it's starting to feel a bit like christmas. We started singing christmas hymns this week in church. That always does it for me. hahaha.

Well, the time has run down again. I love you and miss you all. The Medina family send their love as well. My mama Maritza is taking good care of me.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - every day a little bit closer...

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #61 - November 15, 2010

2010-11-23T19:24:00.003-07:00

Hey all,

The double dose email was nice this week. I was sad to hear about Brian's stroke and a whole week late... but I'll keep him in my prayers and I'm glad that he is recovering well. Happy Birthday to a whole slew of people last week (Nancy, Matt, Michael, Jacob, Brian, Bryan, and Andrew) and to Brookie Gardner Keith on the 18th. I don't know why her birthday is cemented into my mind but I always remember it, so happy birthday Brookie. I'm glad to hear that things are going well in young women's mom, and that the girls are getting involved in activities. I wish we could find a way to do some really great activities with the youth here. It's just so hard to get people to actually come. They are starting to get people organized and trained to do a session of EFY here in 2012. They have done it for two years now in Guatemala and they are expanding the program. It seems to be just as powerful and impacting on the youth here as it is there. Truly an inspired program. The church is really growing here. Sometimes the progress seems slow, but I know that nothing can stop this work, and those who get involved will have their lives changed forever.

This week was a little strange. Okay, a lot strange. We had changes on Wednesday and .... drum roll, please... I'm still in Ciudad Jardin! Wow, five months and going on six. Hna. Arredonde called me and told me that the bishop of my ward called Presidente and asked him please not to change me. So Hna. Cano and I are still truckin' along. I really thought that I would be going but I am happy to be here with the members and converts and investigators that I know and love. The weird part of the week has been looking for a new house practically all day every day and not being able to visit. I can comiserate with Gaye and Lary a little bit I think. We were looking for a house because they decided to put two Elders in the area as well. The other weird thing was that the responsability to divide the area, find a house for the Elders and find people to be their permanent food appointments fell on me. We started searching on Tuesday of last week and when the Elders came on Wednesday, they still didn't have anywhere to live, or beds or desks or anything really. And it seems that no body was really that concerned except me. And I was told to find them a house. And to find it now. So we hardly got to visit our investigators and recient converts this week.

But yesterday was a good day. I'm having a lot of fun directing the ward choir here and teaching the few members that come (about 15) to sing the parts. We are working on a few Christmas songs and I want to put on a nice Christmas program, something that they have never done in the ward. They aren't wonderful singers and no one reads music (except for the piano player that we have, yay Rodolfo!) but when they start to get it and I can hear them really trying to sing their respective parts, I makes me so excited and happy. Our little choir is really coming along.

After dinner yesterday, Jennyfer Medina accompanied us on a few visits. We went to teach Iliana and Juan and it just so happened that Juans sister and Mom were visiting again (I think I told you about an incident that happened at their house last time the sister and mom were there, with the guys throwing rocks and the brawl?) Anyway, the experience was nice because as Hna. Cano was saying the opening prayer, a question came to my mind to ask them about prayer. Then Hna. Cano started the lesson. I wasn't sure what she was going to teach because we are really focusing on asking inspired questions and then dicerning their needs to teach the right gospel principle that will touch their hearts. She talked for a minute and then asked them a question, if they could spend five minutes with Jesus and ask him anything they wanted, what would it be. After they answered she started talking about prayer. It was just what the Spirit had put into my mind to teach them as well.

Then we found a new family that seems really positive named Aldo y Karla and their three little kids. They had a lot of questions right there in the street in front of their house and we taught them about keeping the sabbath day holy and the book of mormon, but we didn't have any copies of the Book of Mormon with us so we are going to stop by tonight to give them one. I really think that they can progress and get baptized. We just have to persuade them to come to church. Karla sells food and Saturdays and Sundays are the best selling days. And Aldo doesn't have work right now... Their situation is tough, and all too common, but I think that if we can help them have some spiritual experiences, especially with the Book of Mormon, then they will come to church next week.

We had a bit of an interesting experience with a man missing a few fingers, and although I want to tell you about it, I think I'll have save it for when I get back so that Mom doesn't worry. Don't worry Mama! We're fine and all is well. But remind me when you see me to tell you about "sin dedos".

Well, truly being a missionary is the best thing in the world - there's nothing like teaching latinos to sing.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #60 - November 8, 2010

2010-11-15T13:12:00.003-07:00

Hey everybody,

This week we had the baptism of Holman! Thanks for your prayers, I know they helped.

We gave him a hymn book, the Church's new version of the Spanish Bible, and a triple this week and he really dove in and started reading. He is basically teaching himself and when our district leader interviewed him, he was really impressed. "Take good care of this guy," he said, "he's really special."

We had challenged him to pray about the decision to be baptized this weekend and the next day, in our appointment we asked him how he felt. He said he felt good and that he was ready. Wow, I felt the spirit so strong and I was so excited. Not many of the ward members could come to the baptism but it was special and the spirit was there. I had prayed that it could be a spiritual experience for Holman and that he could feel the power of the priesthood. Then in church he was confirmed and he was basically radiating. He also got up towards the end of the meeting and bore his testimony. My heart was so full, listening to him bear his testimony of the Book of Mormon and of the prophet Joseph Smith. Hearing the testimony of your investigators is one of the sweetest things of the mission. He said that he felt lifted and hopeful for the future. The Elders Quorum is going to prepare him to recieve the Melchizedec Priesthood at the end of the month along with Luis, who we baptized about two months ago. I'm so happy to see them progressing. Holman is going to be a strong leader in the church and a strength to this ward. I feel so privileged that the Lord put him in our path and was able to use us to bring the gospel to him.

Fatima wasn't able to come to church this week and that made me sad. But she did come to a Relief Society activity on Saturday where we learned how to make bread, cheese bread and picos (sweet bread in the form of a triangle with cheese, sugar and cinnamon.)

We are also teaching a guy named Marvin. He came to church last week and we stopped by his house to get him excited to come again the next day. Well, his little old grandma came to the door and told us that he was there but that he has a problem with drugs and that right now he didn't want to come out to recieve us. I felt so sad, but we went in and talked to the grandma for a little while. I noticed the piles of clean but unfolded clothes around the room and asked if we could help fold. She was hesistant but we insisted and started folding. I found a white button-up shirt and asked if we could iron it for him. She let us and we left the shirt hanging over a chair in the room and the clothes nicely folded. We told the grandma to tell Marvin that we would pass by for him at 8:45. Well, we went by the next morning and there was Marvin, in his ironed white shirt, waiting for us to go to church and he stayed for all three hours. We went back with a member and taught him last night as well. He has a true desire to change his life and to overcome his drug addiction. I know that he can do it and that the gospel will change his life and help him repent and feel the amazing love of the atonement.

Well, it's time for changes once again. I have been feeling like my time here is coming to an end, but who knows. We will see what happens. If I leave here I will surely miss the Medina family, but really it's better to go now than wait for the next change because it's right before Christmas. That would be super sad. Well, the time has run short again... kind of like every week. I know this work is true and I am so grateful to be a part of it. I know that my own life is changing as I help others to change as well. Jesus Christ is our Savior and it is only because of Him that any of this is possible. He is the Way, the Light, and the Hope of the world.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - Jesus Christ heals each of our lives when we are humble.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #59 - November 1, 2010

2010-11-15T13:08:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween yesterday!

They don't do anything here for Halloween because the Evangelicos put up a big fuss about it. They think it's all satanic, so everything was pretty uneventful. Today I want to tell you a little bit about Holman and Fatima.

They are a young couple that we contacted about a month ago. We are preparing Holman to be baptized this weekend. Fatima is a little more hesitant, is more "catholic", and has a lot of wounds that need to heal, but she is coming along. Right now they are separated because of some problems they had, but Hna. Cano and I are hoping the with a bit more time and the help of the gospel, they will get back together. They have a darling little girl who's about 18 months old.

Holman has been reading the Book of Mormon a lot and we have had some powerful lessons with him. We let the spirit guide us and ask the questions that just open him up. He told us his principle doubts about the BOM that we could resolve and also about a couple of interesting experiences. He saw a woman at work pass by carrying a bible a few months ago and it made him feel really bad because he had left the church he was attending and hadn't been reading the bible. It made him evaluate his life in the moment, but then he forget all about the experience. The night that we contacted him and Fatima, he remembered the experience and that is why he accepted the invitation of an appointment. He also told us about the first time he really felt the spirit while reading the bible, when the words really touched his soul. I promised him that he would have that same feeling again as he read the Book of Mormon and he really has been reading it. At the end of the lesson he said he felt like a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. So cool. He always has a bunch of good questions about what he has been reading. Tonight we are going to go teach them both about the plan of salvation. I'm excited. Pray for him to be able to get baptized this weekend.

We've also had a couple really great lessons with Fatima and she has really opened up and told us about a lot of her problems. That we really know what to focus on when we teach her and the spirit is there to touch her heart.

Well, I love and miss you all.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - better than peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream (thanks for that craving Paige... )

Love, Hna Crosland

Letter #58 - October 25, 2010

2010-10-26T20:13:00.002-06:00

Hey mom and dad,

To answer your questions while they are still in my mind, Presidente Arredondo asked all of the North Americans if we could ask our parents to just send an additional package when they send one to us. But you have a good point because there are a lot fewer North American sisters than Latinas. Right now I think there are 16 sisters in the mission and only 5 of us are gringas. Maybe just send two generic packages if it is not too expensive, instead of gift bags for each one. I don't know. Or maybe one generic package that one of the sisters that never gets any mail can have and a package with gift bags for all of them (I think it would be about 11 but probably more will be here by Christmas, so maybe 15). Anything will be greatly appreciated but I don't want you to go into debt sending mail to Nicaragua or making Christmas joy for all the orphans in the whole world...

Um, what else? Yes, they do celebrate Halloween here in some way or other I think, and actually the day after Halloween is kind of like their memorial day, but instead of giving it a nice name like memorial day, they call it the day of the dead or something equally macabre. But I really don't know what Halloween will be like because I wasn't here in Halloween last year, I was confined in the Guatemala MTC practicing Spanish verbs, with my companions nametag on instead of my own, for a lame excuse at a costume. So, I'll let you know how Halloween goes. Is it this week? Wow, how fast
the time is going.

Um, um, umbrella. I think that a high tech umbrella would be very useful here. And I've been wishing I had one for about 4 months. Haha. The problem would be lugging it around. But especially after the monsoon we had yesterday and the trashed umbrella that I was under, which did virtually nothing for me because we arrived at the closest house as if we had swam there, I think a rubber jumpsuit might be better suited.

Well, I don't have a ton of time left, but I wanted to tell you a little about the "new doctrine" that we are putting into practice now. It is nothing new really, just PMG applied and more direct. We are focusing even more in inspired questions and learning to listen to the investigator as well as the spirit and then discerning what to teach instead of arriving at the house with a set plan ahead of time. It is a little more exciting because it's much more comfortable to go with a nice little plan of everything you're going to teach, but we have had a lot of good experiences. The inspired question is the key. It is a question that really hits home with the investigator, that makes them examine their lives and the deepest desires of their hearts. And then the spirit lets us know which doctrine we should teach them, always with questions. It's really been exciting to put this method in practice and we had some really great lessons. I wish I could tell you about all of them and about all of the people we're teaching right now, but maybe next week...

I do want to tell you about some crazy things I experienced yesterday though. Yesterday was pretty much a crappy day. I'll just say it. Out of the 17 positive investigators that told us they would come to church, only 1 actually came through. Even after going by all of their houses Sunday morning to pick them up and help them get ready. In sacrament meeting I stared up at the ceiling fan, working feverishly to keep the congregation cool, and tried to keep the tears back. It was pointless. I felt defeated. Well, after that, pretty much nobody was home. But actually, the monsoon, instead of dampening my spirit body along with my physical body, really lifted my mood. I just like the rain. I can't help it. Even when the rivers flooding through the streets are brown, smell like poo, and the floating trash makes you sick. Haha, that's just Nicaragua.

Well, when we finally found some investigators that were home, we went in and started asking them questions. We starting teaching about families and about our loving Father in Heaven, when some vagos started throwing rocks, one landing in the back patio of the house where the niños were playing. That sent papa Juan into a wild rage and he stormed outside and basically started a brawl. There were death threats flying back and forth, and then they threatened to pull out a pistol. They threw more rocks and hit Juan in the back. Then they started calling each other stupid, which is like insulting your ancestors and the very core of your soul. Basically the lesson didn't turn out so well in the end. We left when the family was storming out to go to the police, because they never answered the phone.

Well, as we were walking down the street a few minutes later, a truck passed with the truck bed stacked up with decapitated pig carcasses. Yummy. But the funniest thing was the muchacho sitting on top of the pile waving at us like, "No big deal, I sit on dead pig bodies with no heads every day," which truly is probably the case. Well, sorry for the mega paragraph today. My thoughts were a little unorganized. But guess what? I love you all a whole lot. Thanks for all you do, for your prayers and cares and thoughts and especially emails.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - some things only happen in Nicaragua. :)

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. Tell Brookie that I love her and that yes, I did get at least one Dear Elder from her. The thing is, I'm just a really bad pen pal... I will try to send her a letter soon. BBYYEEEE!

Letter #57 - October 19, 2010

2010-10-21T12:31:00.004-06:00

Hello Dearies,

That picture of Lake Powell is so gorgeous! Man, I miss the desert. Haha. I also miss the seasons changing. Here there are only two options. Super hot, and super hot with rain. I'm glad everyone seems to be doing so well and being nourished by the good word of God as well. This week I learned a good lesson.

We have been working hard to find some new investigators and teach them with members to help them progress and come to church. To me it seems hard to get people to church out here, but I don't want to sound like a complainer to missionaries who have a much harder time. Well, Friday night rolled around and when the Elders called to ask us what our goal was for investigators in church on Sunday, I told him I thought we might be able to get 4 there (we had only 1 two weeks ago and 2 the week before). It seemed like the realistic answer to me. We are teaching about 20 which means that around 4 will actually show up at church and maybe 2 of them will get baptized in the next few weeks.

But then he surprised me and said, "No hermana, your goal is 15."

What? 15? I could feel myself starting to get irritated. Why did he think that he could just set my goal for me, and an unrealistic goal at that. And for what I did next, I feel really bad about. I just told him straight up how I felt.

"Elder, that is not a goal, that is a dream. And I don't work with unrealistic dreams. I work with goals that are acutally accomplishable. Maybe if you had told us on Monday that we had to get 15 investigators in church we could have had time to make plans and realistically accomplish that goal but the night before, with just one day to make it happen... it just can't be done."

He tried to convince me and I just kept being stubborn and obstinant with him. He told me not to kill the messenger. But when I hung up the phone, I got to work and started making plans with Hna. Cano. We made a list of all our investigators and those whom we had committed to come to church. We didn't have time to visit everyone we needed to to get a commitment from the others, but we made a list of people to call. Then we made a list of ward missionaries that could help us in the morning on Sunday to bring each investigator to church.

We worked hard all day Saturday, praying for the Lords help to accomplish this goal and by the end of the day I counted 14 investigators who had given us an affirmative "yes" that they would be at church and there were a few others who were possibilities. We got up early on Sunday, hoping for a miracle and started passing by for everyone. Well, with the help of a few of the ward missionaries, and the most help from the Lord, we had 9 investigators in church. I was super happy and a little bit sad at the same time because some of the investigators that I was sure would come, who I thought were the most positive, didn't show up. And three of the nine were brought by members and we hadn't even planned on them being there.

It is a great blessing when members bring their friends to church so I am excited to go and teach the new ones that came. But a little disappointed that we are another week behind with a few investigators who I thought were the strongest. Well, the Lord knows which ones will truly progress. But the point of the story is, have faith in the Lord to accomplish big tasks. I had to repent of my attitude on the phone with Elder Cruz, but once I did and decided to have faith and work to accomplish a goal that seemed bigger than life, the Lord did a miracle and brought nine investigators to church. More than quadrupling the number that we had last week.

I know that this is the Lords work. He is in charge. He is getting things done. The church will only go forward, it cannot go back. And we are simply here to be His hands, His voice.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - this is HIS work.

Love you all more than the smell of flowering trees in the dirty streets of Nicaragua.

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. The pictures are of the new shoes and of my little hija and of brother and sister Medina on Hna. Medina's birthday. We wrote her a song on the guitar and bought her a couple of cute parakeets. She loves them. Haha. It was a fun activity for us.

Letter #56 - October 11, 2010

2010-10-12T13:23:00.005-06:00

Dear Family and Friends,

Thanks for the emails this week. I heard from all five of you and it was so fun! I love hearing about what is going on in your lives. And thinking about cooler weather. It has seriously been an inferno her this past week. The rain has actually slowed down a lot and that has meant a whole lot of intense sun. I'm longing for a bit of a breeze from the mountains in Provo. I really miss the seasons changing. I've now gone nearly a whole year in Nicaragua and besides a bit of rain, the weather is always the same: hot and humid.

So I had a number of interesting experiences this week. The first one was nearly being struck by lightning. Seriously. We were walking along the street, looking at the clouds that were threatening to get us soaked, and a few big drops were just starting to fall. We had just passed by a corner where a bunch of guys were standing around who looked up to no good so when I initially saw the brilliant light and heard a huge crack, I thought they had fired off some kind of firework, as happens frequently here. But it was way to loud and way too bright to be a firework and the light raced into the ground. It was like 30 feet from us. We screamed and grabbed on to each other and then couldn't stop laughing about it for like five minutes. Whoa. I have never been that close to lightning.

The next experience was really embarrassing. Friday night we got in totally exhausted and finished up our numbers quickly because the Elders have been asking for them really early lately. Then I put my head on the desk waiting for the call and promptly fell asleep. A little while later, Hna. Cano tapped me on the shoulder. "ya hermana," she said. And in my daze, I got in my PJs, we said our prayers and I climbed up to my top bunk and went to sleep for the night. I was sound asleep when our renter came pounding on the door a little after 11 pm. "Las buscan!" he yelled. What on earth? I thought as I climbed down from the bed, not really fully awake yet. "quien?" I asked. "Los misioneros," he replied. And that's when it dawned on me that the call from the Elders never came and I had gone to bed without talking to them and they were now at the door to make sure we were okay.

So in my PJs, I went out to the main door and standing there was Elder Church, as well in his PJs, Elder Avila, the car of the AP's with Elder Gomez's head sticking out the window and two other office elders in the car. Oh, how embarrassing! I was pretty much horrified. We explained how we had fallen asleep and somehow not heard the phone and they were pretty tranquilos, but I felt way bad. When we got back in, l looked at the phone and we had like ten missed called. Even ward members had been calling. But the weird thing is that the first missed call was at like 10:40pm so that means that if the Elders called at the normal time of about 9:25pm, it never came in. I think something weird happened to our phone. Oh well, I'm sure basically the whole mission found out that the AP's had to come to our house to make sure we were in this week.

We also had some great experiences following promptings of the spirit. They strengthened my testimony that God guides us to those in need and those who are ready to hear the gospel. Thursday night, it was getting late and we had planned to just do some contacting before returning home. But then I thought of one of our investigators who wasn't home when we had tried to visit her earlier in the day. "How about we pass by for Ericka one more time?" I asked, "maybe now she's home." Hna. Cano agreed and we set off.

As we arrived at the house I thought I saw Ericka sitting in the back room, at the end of the dark corridor the leads to house, but when we asked if she was home, we were told she wasn't there. "Are you sure that's not her?" I asked, not wanting to give up so easily. "No, it's my grandma," said the muchacha. "And the other one?" I said, compelled to keep asking. "No, that's my aunt." Then she got up and began walking toward us. Her face looked dark and she had on heavy make-up around her eyes and a cigarette in her hand. She took a long draw and blew out the smoke. "If you want to come in and look, you can," she said challengingly, "I'm not lying. Ericka's not here." "No, that's alright," I said, "thanks." Then she surprised me with a question. "You've never seen me like this have you?" she said. I was taken back because although she seemed familiar, I didn't recognize her. "What's your name?" I asked, trying to remeber her. "you don't recognize me?" she said, turning her face to the light, "I'm Bianca."

Then it came to me that she was a friend of Ericka's who had come to an activity at the church about a month ago. We had taught her mom and sister a couple of times but not her specifically. "Do you know why I'm like this tonight?" she asked, and I could smell the liquor on her breath. "No," I answered simply. She then proceeded to talk for a good half an hour about an abusive relationship with her husband, and a father who after 30 years still abuses her mother, how she just couldn't take it anymore and how the day before, she had wanted to take her life. She planned to wreck her fathers car but to prevent her from doing anything, her brother in law had gotten in the car and when he finally calmed her down and she decided to turn back around to go home, she lost control of the car and got in an accident anyway. The worst part for her was that her brother in law got hurt and absolutely nothing happened to her.

We spoke little, but we spoke of the Savior, of the atonement, of hope. We sang "I am a Child of God" huddled there in the dark corridor and hugged her as she cried. She told us that we were her angels and that she knew God had sent us to her in her moment of need. She said she couldn't imagine what would have happened if she hadn't stood up and approached us to talk to us. We gave her the pamphlet of the plan of salvation and made an appointment to come back the next day. I left feeling a little amazed at how the Lord works and how he had sent us to listen to her. Pretty much all we did was listen but as she told us that she felt more at peace, that she felt hope, I knew that the Lord had used us that night, to lighten the load of one of his precious daughters. How grateful I am that the Spirit had guided us to that house and even though Ericka hid from us (because I'm pretty sure she was there) the Lord had someone else in mind when He sent us there.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - lifting the up the heads that hang down.

I hope you are all healthy, safe and well. Learning lots and seeking the Lord. I love you endlessly.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #55 - October 4, 2010

2010-10-04T20:54:00.003-06:00

Hey everyone,

I spent all my time writing an email to a girl that is coming to this mission in a while so I'll have to just give you brief updates. I am still in Cuidad Jardin but I'm finally training! It is so fun and my new companion "hija" is Hna. Cano from Guatemala. She's a cutie and really great. More about her later. Conference was wonderful and inspiring and I got to listen to all four sessions in english. What a blessing. The prophet is true and so is the gospel. Mom, thanks for your email and even though you feel like you don't express your thoughts well, you never cease to inspire me. Really. And my card doesn't expire until July 2012. I love you all so much and I'm sorry I couldn't write more.

For more reading material you can read the email I sent to the girl coming out... here it is:

Alicia,

Congrats on being called to the greatest mission on earth. You are in for the adventure of your lifetime. Okay, first to answer a few of your questions.

1) Temple clothes – leave them home. They’ll rent them for you in Guatemala and Provo.

2) Long sleeved shirts - I have a couple and I hardly ever wear them (like never). I did serve in the coldest area of Nicaragua and in that area. I was always borrowing sweaters that were heavier than the ones I brought. If I were you, I’d bring a couple light sweaters that you can put on and take off as the weather changes during the day and one heavy one for when you get sent to Jinotega.

3) My favorite skirts are the ones that I can wear any shirt with, that are a little bit longer and a little bit wider. Longer because you are going to have to sit on all kinds of things out here to teach people including rocks and stumps and curbs of sidewalks that are low to the ground. And wide because it doesn’t restrict you when taking big steps and getting on and off busses. Basically bring clothes you feel cute and comfortable in. Think about doing yard work in Sunday clothes when making your choices… ;)

4) I wouldn’t bring boots but I would bring a rain poncho (something plastic and cheap will work just fine) and an umbrella that is easy to carry around with you for the rainy season.

5) Don’t worry about getting enough clean water. In every apartment there are big 5 gallon jugs of agua pura and the mission pays for them to be delivered. Also in the MTC you’ll get a water bottle that filters any water you put in it.

6) I brought my personal debit card and yes, there ATMs (cajeros) everywhere that you can use. You’ll get a debit card from the mission as well where you’ll take out your monthly misisonary budgit.

7) Medications – bring a bunch of tylenol or ibuprofen or whatever your preferred pain killer is. Also bring anit-itch cream or allergy medicine. Also diarrhea medicine and something for stomach aches. Really you can get pretty much any kind of drug here over the counter, like stuff you need a prescription for in the states. And everyone here will tell you about a million different drugs that will help with whatever you might be suffering with. But for that we have a mission nurse. I would also bring a nail clipper than can handle and cut out ingrown toenails. Don’t worry about being sick. You’ll feel yucky and you just deal with it like a champ and then it passes. The Lord really takes care of His missionaries.

Well as far as other stuff to bring, I love my mountainsmith bag. It has a shoulder strap and a waist strap. I would just get one size bigger though. I got the small one and the médium one would have been better to fit PMG more easily.

To prepare, read PMG at least once through before you enter the MTC and memorize the order of the principles in the first three lessons. Then just get used to making small talk and talking with everyone! It was hard for me to just go up to random people sitting outside their houses and generate a conversation. Talk to everyone. The faster you get used to talking to people and making conversation the better and more comfortable you’ll be on the mission. I don’t know how your spanish is, but I think I can say that it will be a struggle for you at first. The Guatemala MTC will help a ton. I’ll try to make a list of good phrases in the next few months to give to you when you get here.

Also if you are musically inclined, bring arrangements of hymns and other church music. They are always in need of musical numbers for conferences and church meetings. Um… suitcases. I have one enormous one and one small one. I wish I had two médium ones. And don’t pack them both way full before you leave. Leave yourself some space. And maybe bring a simple back pack as well. I’ve had to pack for just one or two nights because of staying the night with some other hermanas and I wished I had something small to pack clothes in for just a day. I left my hair straightener home, but I would bring it if I could od it again. It’s nice to be able to fix yourself up nice for the conferences. Oh, that reminds me. Have one or two nice outfits for the conferences, like a cute suit jacket and matching skirt. Something sophisticated. You’ll get sick of feeling grubby, and the conferences are your chance to look nice.

Other things

- Travel pillow (or room in suitcase for a real one)
- More garments than they tell you to bring (like16 pairs)
- Travel iron
- Little compass because the directions here are crazy
- Two laundy bags, one to keep dirty clothes in while your clothes are being washed. A lot of time we live out of our suitcases. There aren’t places to put the clothes.
- A wallet to keep in your bag and one to keep the rest of your Money and personal debit card in in the house. Okay, that is all I can think of for the momento and really all the time I have today. If you have any more questions, feel free to send me an email at Michelle.crosland@myldsmail.net. See you soon!

Hna. Crosland

Letter #54 - September 27, 2010

2010-09-28T09:12:00.001-06:00

Hey everybody,

Thanks for all the messages this week. It was fun to hear from the Crosland Clan. Sounds like you are all doing awesome, except for Amie's mouth contraption (ouch!). Mom, thanks for sending the music. I haven't had a chance to look through it yet, but I'm sure it will be awesome.

The rain is still going strong. It rains every day but it actually hasn't been super strong. There were some hurricane warnings but mostly for the Atlantic coast. And there has been a little bit of flooding in various parts of the country but nothing here.

I'm also feeling back to normal. After the fever went away, a nasty rash, that turned my skin red and spotty and made me so itchy I wanted to die and crawl right out of my skin, plagued me for a few days and made it extremely hard to concentrate on anything, but now I'm feeling good.

So changes are this Wednesday. I'm thinking Hna. Tunche will go and I will stay. But we'll find out tomorrow night what is to become of us. We went shoe shopping this morning and finally found some in Payless (where else?) which is actually like the posh shoe store out here. I also bought two pairs of no show socks and some shoe polish. So a huge thanks to grandma and grandpa from both Hna. Tunche and I. We are looking stylish and feeling snazzy in our new shoes.

This weekend we had the baptism of Ivania. She is the niece of one of the ward members and is 8 months pregnant. She is living with Hna. Montano and has been to church a few times, but we had never been to teach her until this week. She is super sweet and humble and accepted the lessons and the challenges to keep the commandments and we were able to baptize her this weekend. What I have learned about having baptisms is this: they are simply gifts from the Lord. We can do all we can and work our guts out and some times it just seems like no one is willing to change, and then all of the sudden, the Lord puts someone in your path who is prepared, who is humble, who wants to make changes in their life, and you are just lucky enough to be there to teach them.

I feel like I almost have nothing to do with finding these people. We are out in the streets trying to find people all day and to help the people we have to progress, but really all we can do is be as obedient as we can and work as hard and as smart as we can and then the Lord does the rest. He takes our effort, and although it usually didn't get us anywhere, he does the rest and gives us someone to teach and baptize. This is truly the Lord's work. We play such a small and insignificant part, but we need this experience. I am so grateful for the people that the Lord has entrusted me with and for the tiny role I have been able to play in their lives, to help them learn eternal truths that can save their lives.

I hope everyone is excited for conference this weekend. I am WAY excited, even though I'll probably have to listen to all of conference in spanish, which just isn't the same. But that's okay. Okay, I love you all. Thanks again Grandma and Grandpa for the new shoes.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - receiving the blessings of the Lord.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #53 - September 20, 2010

2010-09-21T13:11:00.005-06:00

Hello everybody,

The highlight of the week was definitely the baptism of Luis, Suyen, Carlos, and Kenneth on Saturday. Just in case I haven't mentioned, Carlos is Luis and Suyen's eight year old son, and Kenneth is the son of a member but he just turned nine at the beginning of September so we taught him the lessons and he was also baptized this Saturday.

It was great and we had the support of quite a few members. Then they were all confirmed in church yesterday and it was really special. The only thing that made the experience less than perfect is that I started feeling pretty sick during the baptism.

I guess I have to back up a little bit.

Last monday I finished up my week of the terrible cold, but the very day that I started feeling better, Hna. Tunche got sick with a bad fever, body aches, and diarrhea. Well, Saturday she started feeling better and Saturday night, all of the sudden, I started feeling hot and shakey and since then I have felt pretty bad. Today the fever is less but I feel really dizzy and weak. So basically as a companionship we have more than two weeks of being sick and who knows how long it's going to hold on, whatever I have now. Hna. Medina has been so sweet. She is totally our mom here. She told me not to tell you that I've been sick, but I just had to. When you don't feel good, you just want your mom. And if she can't be there, at least she can know how you feel. So mama, don't worry. I'm going to feel better soon.

I miss you a lot right now. Like Daddy said, the trials are to polish us and knock off the rough edges. Well I've still got a lot of rough edges and the Lord is trying to polish me.

This week we also had a really great conference with Elder Don. R Clark of the Seventy. It was wonderful and very inspiring. I felt humbled and inspired to do better and I wrote down a lot of good points on how to improve. I know that the Lord loves us and is mindful of us. He wants us to succeed and He gives us many opportunities to do so. Let's make the most of everyday and give our best. And even on the hard days when our best effort doesn't amount to much, the Lord accepts it and makes up the difference.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - shall we not go on in so great a cause?

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. I will try to find some time to look for a new pair of shoes. It probably wont be until next monday because today I just need to rest. But tell Grandma and Grandpa thank you and that I love them a lot.

EDITORS NOTE:

HAPPY ONE YEAR TO THE HERMANA! A member made her a cake to celebrate.

Letter #52 - September 13, 2010

2010-09-14T12:32:00.002-06:00

Dear fam and friends,

This weeks email is going to be short and sweet. I don't have a ton of time today. But I did have some really wonderful experiences this week that I wanted to share, and some frustrating ones that make the sweet ones all the better.

On Saturday we weren't having any luck with finding the people we had planned to teach. But finally we a lady named Flor let us come in and start teaching her. We are teaching her son Kevin and we had taught her as well one time before but this time, Kevin wasn't home and it gave us the chance to answer some of her questions. She started asking about the Book of Mormon. Basically it turned out to be a really frustrating lesson in which she was totally closed to accepting anything we said and just threw one objection after another at us. I felt like we actually did a really good job of answering her questions and objections and showing her how Heavenly Father's plan all works together so perfectly. I even felt the spirit testify through me as I bore my testimony of a Loving Father in Heaven and the book that he prepared for us in these last days to clear up all the confusion that exists in religion. But she was super closed to taking anything into her heart and at the end wouldn't even accept the invitation to read part of the Book of Mormon to find out for herself what it contained and if it was true. That always hurts a little bit. Not because we were rejected, but because she will never know what kind of happiness and truth she could have had. I love the Book of Mormon with all my heart.

Now, contrast that experience with yesterdays testimony meeting where Bernarda, our recient convert of about a month ago, got up and bore a sweet and simple testimony that she is so grateful to have discovered the true church, and that through the reading the Book of Mormon, she knows that the church is true. Wow. That was probably one of the sweetest moments I have had. It is so hard to get people to read the Book of Mormon out here, members AND investigators. And hearing her testify of the Book of Mormon from the pulpit yesterday about made my heart burst. She has gone through a ton of trials since she got baptized, but she has been faithfully reading the book of Mormon and it has made all the difference.

The other sweet experience was with Luis and Suyen. They didn't get baptized this saturday because Suyen still had a lot of doubts and is worried about her family totally rejecting her if she gets baptized because they are super catholic. But we trudged through a hurricane to get to their house last night and it was well worth the bath. When we got there, dripping wet even though we had a huge umbrella, Suyen said she had some news for us. She said that they wouldn't be coming to church anymore and that they were going to stop receiving the lessons... my heart skipped an entire beat and a half. But then a sly smile creeped across her face. Just kidding, she said, we're going to be baptized on Saturday the 18th, for sure. Wow! I wanted to jump up and shout and dance, but I settled for giving her a big hug. This family is really special. I feel like if they were the only ones that I got to teach and baptize in my whole mission it would be worth it.

Well time is up, but I just have to say that being a missionary is the best thing in the world - the bitter makes the sweetness that much sweeter.

Love,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #51 - September 6, 2010

2010-09-06T21:22:00.002-06:00

Well hi everybody,

How are ya'll? It sounds like it was an exciting a spiritual week. Congrats to Will on his patriarchal blessing. That will be such a guide for you in your life if you read it often and work to fulfill the requirements for each blessing promised. And three cheers for Ali, all the way up there at BYU-I! I'm so happy and excited for you, and I can't believe that by the time I see you again, you'll be a seasoned veteran at the whole college thing. Wow, time is flying. Thanks for the uplifting emails mom and dad.
I love reading them. They are a great source of strength to me each week, a recharge of energy.

I have had one of the nastiest colds of my life for the last four days and it is still going strong. But I have been amazed at all I can do, even while feeling very sick, with the Lord's help, and it hasn't slowed down the work. I hope that it doesn't hold on much longer though. I don't think my nose will make it. We had stake conference this weekend and it was very nice. It almost felt like the church at home. We had 7 investigators there, including Luis and Suyen, Erika, and Oscar. I don't know if I have
told you about Erika. She is the wife of a less-active member and she has a baptismal date for this saturday along with Luis and Suyen. As of now, I think they are on track. We watched the Joseph Smith movie with L and S yesterday at the stake presidents house and it was really awesome. Oscar is a 20 year old kid that we are teaching who always has a new rumor about the church for us to clear up. He's progressing and I think in a few weeks he will get baptized as well. Mijaly and Yolanda have been really hard to find still. But we made an appointment with them for tonight and we'll see how it goes. I hope we can rescue them. It will break my heart to lose them.

Hna. Tunche and I will be companions at least until Sept. 29. We work pretty well together, despite our differences. Actually it's our different strengths that really make up for what the other lacks. Almost daily I am grateful for something she did that I didn't think to do that turned out to make a big difference. But I should be better at telling her that. The changes actually come out to be nearly exact for my 18 months because of the three week extension, March 17. And I think I'll be able to choose if I want to come home then or at the next change which would be at the end of April. But I have been thinking that I want to jump right into the spring term of school so I'm thinking march.

It seems this week that I have been thinking about a lot of things. For one reason or another, I've been really contemplative. Before my mission I used to think that it wouldn't matter to me if I got rejected every day and hardly anyone would listen to us. I was so sure that just "being a missionary and preaching the gospel" could be enough and that if I had any success in terms of baptisms, it would be icing on the cake. But that was before I started to love the people here and desire their salvation. Having "success" to be able to report numbers still doesn't matter to me, but knowing that the gospel can truly save someoe and to have them not be able to open their eyes and see it really hurts. It's not a hurting for myself, I ache for them. I want so badly to help but so many don't let us. But we have to push forward and do the best that we can. Baptism the the key.

I was also reading a talk that Paige gave in church some months ago and sent me this morning. She spoke about love. And I started really contemplating the subject. It seems on my mission that I've discovered just what an amature I am at love. I used to think that I had it all down, that I was so capable of loving everyone. How naive I was. To my surprise and discontent, Christ-like love has been something I've struggled with here. That purest of all love should be the true motive of all we do. But how many times have I looked for and found other motives to keep me going, worldly motives, shallow motives. Why am I so easily annoyed and discouraged? Is the charity in my heart truly so thin and unsubstantial?

I think that we can study the pinciples of the gospel and tributes of Christ all our lives, and we should, but we really don't learn them with our hearts until we are put to the test. All my life I have studied the gospel and I have a lot of knowledge about it. I have read about thousands of examples of love and charity. And now I am here with the opportunity to put that knowledge into action, to somehow get it from my head to my heart and I feel like I fail 9 times out of 10. We don't learn until we are tested. It's easy to love your best friend and serve her. It's easy to love your family especially when you are very far away from them. But loving complete strangers, and people you haven't even met yet, enough to sacrifice so much, to go out and work when you are sick and tired and have nothing left to give, except the shred of charity you pull up from deep within your heart, that is something of a challenge.

I hope I am learning to love, despite my failures. And perhaps it is through my failures that progress is being made. No, not through failing, through the courage to pick myself up and keep trying. Let us cultivate charity and not be discouraged when our capacity to love is tested and we don't quite measure up yet. We are little children and cannot bear all things now, but must grow in grace and truth... and I would add charity.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - try, try again.

I love you all with all my heart.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #50 - August 30, 2010

2010-09-06T21:11:00.006-06:00

Hey you guys,

Sorry you missed the email last week. I don't know what happened. I actually did send it, so it must have just gotten lost in cyber-space. So, we have a little problem in our one-room house called low water pressure. Here's a fluid dynamics problem for you. When you have one water source that is being directed to varias locations and someone is washing while another person is trying to take a shower, what happens? Basically, the water dribbles out of the shower head and sticks to the wall most mornings.

So trying to get yourself wet is kind of interesting. It's like this, I stretch up my arm and place my palm against the wall where the stream of water is coming down, more or less making a bridge so that the water is directed down my arm and onto my shoulder and from there to the rest of my body. This is method number one. When we have a bit more pressure, there is the good old make-a-cup-out-of-your-hands method and then splash it on your body (think ELF in the shower). But my favorite is when we've got a good sprinkle going and I get all lathered up and then all of the sudden, not a single drop is coming out. Luckily it usually comes on again in a few minutes, but the moments spent standing in the shower wondering what I'm going to do if it doesn't come back on are entertaining.

Well, the best news this week is that Shilo got baptized! Mijaly and Yoli still aren't ready and I'm actually pretty worried that Mijaly is loosing interest. He hasn't let us teach him all week. But things are going really well with Suyen and Luis. Tonight we are going to teach them about Family Night at the bishop's house. The activity we had for the baptisms this week went pretty well. It was all centered around the vision of Lehi and the tree of life. We watched a little video to get started and then everyone followed the iron rod (a rope covered in tin foil) around the church, facing various temptations including a discoteca and a room filled with candy. Finally, everyone ended up in the room with the baptismal font where a lovely christmas tree represented the tree of life. Haha. It was pretty funny. Then we had the baptisms. I attached some pictures of the activity and Shilo.

Preparing for the activity

The rope covered in tinfoil--I mean the iron rod . . .

Baptisms

Getting baptized is super fly

Shilo

Today we splurged and bought betty crocker cookie mixes at the grocery store (la colonia). It was like heaven eating cookie dough, and all the latinos just stared and looked at us like we were crazy. "You are going to get so sick from eating that" they said. But I assured them that I have been eating cookie dough since I was born and that nothing would happen. Hna. Campos wanted the cookies to be done faster so she turned the heat up as high as it would go, but luckily, elder iverson saw her do it and quickly turned it back down. It made me laugh. Cookies are just not a latin american thing. But they turned out good. We also watched The Mountain of the Lord on the big screen in the church. It was awesome. I think I've seen it once before, but it really hit me how much the saints sacrificed to build the Salt Lake Temple. It also made me miss the temple a lot. We also watched part of a church video but in Portuguese and I was stoked when I realized that I could understand almost everything. Portuguese is so cool. I want to learn it when I get home.

Daddy, I'm glad you are happy with your eye surgery still and that everything went well. And I love hearing about your ward and what you are doing with them and how the family is participating. It sounds like your day of rest yesterday was a little like one of mine... not at all restful. But when we are in the service of the Lord, He promises us a rest that will be eternal.

I love you all dearly.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - and it never ends, keep working hard to spread the joy.

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. I can't wait to meet my new niece in a few months. I hope everyone is taking good care of Paige and Mikey. And good luck to Ali-bug with starting school up at BYU-I. I know you'll be great Ali, you're starting an amazing new chapter of your life so live it up to the fullest! And Will, just know I love you and I'm always thinking about you.

Letter #49 - August 23, 2010

2010-08-23T21:07:00.000-06:00

Dear family and friends,

I’m still here in Ciudad Jardin with Hna. Tunche. Neither of us had changes. So we at least have another six week in this lovely garden city…haha, truly there’s no great garden, but I do love it here. This week’s letter is going to be a little bit short because I spent too much time being charmed by the ultrasounds of my new niece, baby Ada. Wow, what a heart breaker. It makes me ache to be home a little bit but I also can’t imagine my time here being over. There is so much to DO!

We are teaching a new family that I'm really excited about. Their names are Luis and Suyén (sue-jen, with the accent on jen). Yesterday was there second time at church and Luis even came with a white shirt and tie on! Wow, and with their cute kids all gussied up. They are really open and like learning about how they can strengthen their family. Suyén feels like men have all the priviledges in this church and was asking why women can't have the priesthood but we did our best to explain the roles of husbands and wives in the gospel and how we aren't complete without each other, that the church doesn't favor men and teaches about the divinity of women. I hope she can see the beauty of our different but equal roles.

I hope you're still praying for Mijaly and Yolanda. We're fighting for them to be baptized this weekend but Mijaly is disanimated (is that a word in English?). We are going to bring them to the Medina's tonight for a Noche de Hogar and try to help him see what a difference the gospel can make for his young family. Maybe seeing the success of the Medina family and how happy they are will help him see the big picture a little clearer and get him interested in the gospel again.

Paige said that it has been a little rainy there lately. It's still raining here a lot too, and the thunder and lightening storms are gorgeous. A few nights ago as we were leaving the house of Luis and Suyén, a monsoon started. Our house isn't very far away from theirs, but by the time we were unlocking the front gate, we were completely drenched. Not a dry spot on us. Even my hair, which was tied up in a bun was soaked through. Wow, maybe it's time to buy an umbrella? Supposedly October is the hurricane month. I guess we'll see.

I still haven't gotten the package yet, but with a little luck it's still on it's way and nobody snatched it. I've worn holes into the bottom of the new shoes you sent me in April, but they still work just fine. And I still have one pair without holes in the soles, just the side of the leather is ripped. But I will be fine with shoes and clothes until I get home. The rainy season is coming to an end, just two more months, and everything is just fine in the logistics department. The Lord has blessed me with everything I need, and I couln't be happier to have everything that I do.

It is such a blessing to have a solid roof over head, to be eating three meals a day, and to have clothes to put on my body. And what's more, I have the gospel in my life, so even if I didn't have those things, I know I'd make it through and I know what the future holds if we are faithful. Let us all go on in this beautiful and eternal cause. We have so much to give.

Let's not hold back, because we are truly a blessed people beyond measure.

Thanks for all your support and love. I love hearing from you.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - we've got everything to give and nothing to loose.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #48, August 16, 2010

2010-08-17T09:30:00.003-06:00

Dear Fam and Friends,

This week we had two more baptisms. Hna. Coco and Kester both got baptized this Saturday and came to church to be confirmed yesterday. It was a really great baptism service too. We got the word out and planned it out really well before hand with a special musical number (I sang the EFY arrangement of I Know That My Redeemer Lives, but in spanish) and even a little refreshment. It was good to see more of the members there. Coco was pretty nervous before and I was worried she was going to back out, but she went through with it and after said that she had no reason to fear. I don't know if I've written much about Kester. He is the 14 year old son of a recent convert named Isolda and we've been working with him for a long time and trying to get him ready and excited about being baptized. His mom didn't want him to feel like she was pushing him into doing it, and he was pretty wishy-washy for a while, but my favorite moment of the baptism was after they had gotten dressed and he turned around in his chair to look at Hna. Tunche and I, and with a huge grin said, "Gracias!" He really beamed.

We also had a miracle this week. Bernarda was using a borrowed wheelchair (did I already tell you about this?) for her thrombosis and had a lot of pain in her leg, preventing her from walking. But we were supposed to return the wheelchair last monday. Well, since we weren't successful in finding a replacement, we asked to borrow it for a couple days more but when friday arrived, we knew we would just have to take the chair away. We had been praying and praying to find another chair for her and when nothing turned up, we had heavy hearts as we headed out to Bernarda's house to visit her and get the chair.

Well, when arrived, I was surprised to see her sitting in a normal chair. And then, to my utter astonishment, she stood up all by herself and started walking towards us. Now the doctors had told her that she wouldn't be able to walk for at least 6 months, but she walked up to us and gave us a big hug and told us that she hadn't been using the wheelchair since tuesday. WOW! What a miracle. She said she could get around the house just fine and even went to the little store across the street. When we challenged her to get baptized, she told us she wanted to wait 6 months until she was able to walk and wasn't in so much pain, but we promised her that the Lord would bless her if she had the faith to get baptized now and not put it off. Well, we have truly seen those blessings in a very literal sense. She is so much happier and more hopeful and now we're teaching the guy who does handyman projects at her house. What a blessing. The Lord doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we think He will, sometimes he has a better idea. Instead of providing a wheelchair for Bernarda, he decided that healing her leg to the extent that she could start getting around was better. I think so too.

We also had a really positive lesson with Mijaly and Yoli this week. They both have a baptismal date for the 28th. The bad thing is, they didn't come to church yesterday even though we were really annoying and sang hymns outside their bedroom door for about ten minutes. But if we can get them to come this week, they are still on track to be baptized the 28th. We also have the possibility of baptizing Noel this Saturday. He had a date for last Saturday but didn't feel prepared. We're going to work with him really hard this week.

Well, Dad asked about the members and if they help us to fellowship the new converts. I think things are getting better and we had a lot of support at the baptism. Kester already has a lot of friends in the young men and went to the young men's camp about a month ago. I hope that we can really get some support from the relief society with Bernarda and Coco though. I still feel like there are a ton of politics in this ward, a few family fueds that run pretty deep, and a family that pretty much reigns the kingdom here (stake pres, bishop, rs pres, eq pres - all in the same family), but we've got a lot of good people who are also trying to serve the Lord. It really is the members who make or break the missionary work in any given area. I'm coming to realize that more and more.

I'm glad to hear that Leslie and Boston are doing well, that you've all been having lots of fun and that you're getting ready for school again! How quickly time flies right?

The picture is of my hair and of a wicked awesome fruit called Pitaya (pee-tie-ya). No one eats it, but they make it into a delicious fruit drink. The color is a bright fusia. Love it.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - the Lord always has the best ideas!

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #47, August 9, 2010

2010-08-10T10:45:00.002-06:00

Hey ya'll,

Funny that you asked if it is still rainy season because it was pouring and thundering just before we came to write. The good thing is that when it really rains hard, it only lasts for about 15 minutes. Sometimes it rains off and on all day though. I still haven't bought another umbrella yet. But we're usually pretty lucky and in a house when the rain comes. I've only gotten really drenched a few times. Apparently the really rainy month is October so we've still got a while.

Changes are a week from Wednesday and I can't believe how fast this change went.

I wish I could tell you that wedding bells were ringing for Shilo and Jose but they just don't love each other and there are some really deep wounds that just can't be healed in a matter of weeks. However, their daughter and son-in-law who are actually married came to church this week and are really positive. Their names are Mijaly and Yolanda. I don't know if I already told you about them. They are awesome. We also had a baptism this week!!! Her name is Bernarda and was actually an investigator of the elders. But, big news, they took the elders out of the area so now we have the whole of Ciudad Jardin to ourselves. That is a bit challenging because this area is huge and there are a couple of neighborhoods that are pretty dangerous.

One of them is called Jorge Dimitrov which is where Bernarda lives. She also has a high risk blood clot (thrombosis?) that keeps her from being able to walk. So we had to find her a wheelchair to baptize her and take it to her house. She is a really cool lady though and everything went really well for her baptism. At first we put a chair in the font so she could sit, but her leg kept coming up out of the water. So we took it out. I was nervous that she would freak out a bit but she seemed way comfortable in the water, just kind of floatin' around and feeling fine. Elder Ball, our district leader, baptized her and she was confirmed yesterday. Awesome. We also have Coco planned for baptism this week. I am a little worried about that one but we are going to work hard with her this week.

We moved into the elders house since they got taken out of the area, so now we don't have to ride the bus each day. It's been a bit of a crazy few weeks with all the changes but the Lord is really blessing us. We had a great attendance and 12 investigators at church this week. OH, and... I got a totally latina hair cut. I wasn't going to cut my hair on the mission but Hna. Medina's brother Paco cuts hair (he also sells make-up, sews, is thirty and single... ) and he was at the house and offered to do it. So I let him at it. I now have some drastic layers, but it actually doestn't look bad and I just put it in a pony tail anyway. Haha. Well my time is done. I wish I had more time to write you all individually.

To my dear baby brother - thank you from the bottom of my heart for the lovely email you wrote me. I'll write back just to you next week. I promise.

I also got Ashton's wedding announcement and a letter from Brookie Keith.

A big shout out to everyone.

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - the Lord truly watches out for us.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #46 - August 2, 2010

2010-08-02T16:49:00.003-06:00

So this week flew by.

We actually had to move to a different house because our contract ended and since the changes are so soon, the APs told us not to renew it and just to move in with the hermanas of a near by area. So we have to take the bus to work in our area each morning but it's not to bad. I've started contacting the buses. We ask the driver if we can make an invitation to the bus and then stand up at the front (trying not to fall over) and introduce ourselves, teach a principle from one of the lessons really quickly or tell them about the book of mormon and invite everyone to church. It's pretty fun.

We're still working with Shilo and José. She came to church today but he couldn't come. We had a really good lesson with them this week though and brother and sister Medina came with us. Tonight we're going to set a wedding date with them. I hope it goes over okay. We're also working with Coco, but I'm a little disappointed. She kicked her husband out of the house because he's been cheating on her for years and opened up and a little "restaurant", (really just serving food from her house) and took over his little store. She owned the space, just had to buy all her own products to sell.

Well, last week, before she actually opened we took advantage of the opportunity to teach her really frankly about keeping the sabbath day holy and also found out that she was planning to sell alcohol in her food joint as well. So we really urged her not to do that and explained what the consequences would be if she started selling alcohol and how important it is to have the spirit dwell in your home. We committed her to close on Sundays and she said she would pray about selling beer. But we went by yesterday morning and everything was open and her restaurant is more like a bar. I'm pretty sad. But we're going to try again. I know if she can get started out right with this new phase in her life, the Lord with really bless her.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - fighting on the Lord's team, you can never lose.

Well I love you all mucho mucho mucho.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #45, July 26, 2010

2010-07-27T09:14:00.002-06:00

My dear family,

This week's email has to be very short. I'm sorry. Today, we got some big plastic sheets and made a slip-n-slide at the church. It was pretty wild. One elder even bought some detergent and we had a good foam going. We filled up the big yellow mop buckets with wheels to get it all wet and took turns slipping and sliding on our bellies, backs, and feet. Then we got a water fight going and every except two or three elders got super soaked. It was fun to play and laugh and not think about the problems of the week for a minute.

We had an interesting week, getting to know our investigators and their problems a little more in depth. It's hard to see them in their trials. Keep Hna. Coco and Shilo and José in your prayers. I know that the gospel can heal their hearts. I know it will take time, but I also know that it's possible. There are so many broken hearts, so many lives in tatters, and everyone is just trying to make it through to the next day. But without the gospel, what is it all for? What is the point of making it through one more painful day, just to wake up to the next one? Is it for the glimmer of hope of finding a brief sliver of happiness to aliviate the heartache and monotony? If that is all we can hope for, then what is the point?

Of course there is something more. Clearly we have a Father in Heaven who intends for our lives to be so much more than that. We are to have JOY, not just fleeting happiness, the kind of joy that gives us inner peace and assurance despite the natural circumstances of living a mortal life. And that joy comes from having Jesus Christ as our Savior, the lover and healer of our souls.

I know He lives. I know He knows us, and cares for us, and has our every care and worry constantly present before Him. He knows how to succor his people. He knows how to repair our broken lives. And as we learn of Him, and strive to do what he said, we will become like Him. I'm going to leave all of you the challenge of having a really good talk with your Father in Heaven this week. Converse with Him. And let Him show you the way.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - we truly can make a difference.

Hna. Crosland

Letter #44, July 19, 2010

2010-07-27T09:02:00.005-06:00

Buenas!

¿Cómo están todos? Sounds like you are busy doing a bunch of fun things. That's great. Hey, today is national Sandinista day. Viva la revolución...or not. We had a ward activity this morning so we got to stay in our area and hang out with the members, which was good because we wouldn't have been able to take a bus to meet with the other missionaries in the zone anyway.

All the buses are being occupied by the Sandinistas and all the major streets are full of people with red and black flags, doing who knows what. Supposedly is kind of a dangerous day, but we have successfully avoided everything. We spent the morning playing soccer, basketball, volleyball, potato sack racing, water relays and having a BBQ (super yummy shish-ka-bobs with rice and a tomato and onion salad) with the ward. We also had a few investigators there and it was really great for them to make some friends and get to know the ward members in that type of setting. I also washed the Medina's dog, Go-go. It made me miss Riley.

Yesterday I was hoping to have a lot more investigators at church than we did, but María Auxiliadora (Shilo) and her husband José came and also the husband of one the members came. We had another couple of really good lessons with them and started teaching their daughter and son-in-law, Mijaly y Yolanda.

We also had interviews this week and found out that the church is changing things a little bit. Instead of having interviews every change, they are every two changes as well as multi-zone conferences. But every change there is a leadership conference for the ZLs, DLs, and trainers. We talked a lot about the importance of asking good questions and listening to our investigators to teach them by the spirit and find out their real needs. As we've put this more into practice, we've had some really great lessons. Sometimes it feels like we don't get to teach very many principles, but we've felt the spirit more strongly in our lessons and that is always really good.

Well, sorry this is a short email. I hope all goes well with Leslie and Boston and give Grandpa a big hug and kiss for me. I'll definitely keep them in my prayers. Also give my best to Annett and Joerg.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - we are called to preach the gospel BY THE SPIRIT.

Love, Hna. Crosland

National Sandinista Day

Potato sack racing with the ward.

Washing Go-go the dog

New Mission President, Carlos F. Arredono, his wife, daughter and Hermana Crosland

Letter #43, July 12, 2010

2010-07-13T09:52:00.003-06:00

Hola,

You guys are too funny! I love the otis photo album idea. It really made me giggle to see the fotos and imagine the captions. I'm sure the Swindle's loved it to pieces. I'm glad you are all back safe and sound. It sounds like the fishing trip was fun and successful and that you're all busy again (especially mom) making everyone's lives a little better. That's the only way to be. I'm excited for Will to have some great experiences at scout< camp and EFY. I was talking with Hna. Tunche the other day about some of the greatest testimony building experiences we have had in our lives and almost all of the experiences came out of girl's camp and EFY. It's so important to have some really anchoring spiritual experiences in those teenage years, but even big spiritual experiences can't take the place of daily cultivating the spirit in our lives through scripture study and prayer, and just trying our best to be good.

We met our new President and his wife this week. They seem great. Pres. Arredondo has a degree in business administration and his wife in education administration. They have five kids 16 - 23 years old, one returned missionary (daughter) one married (daughter) one on a mission (son) and two that are here with them. We had a conference with them on Thursday and we< talked a lot about listening to the spirit and helping our investigators have spiritual experiences and recognizing the spirit when they feel it. Really, that is the key to obtaining a testimony - having your own experiences with the spirit, recognizing that it is testifying of truth, and developing a hunger to have more.

We had some great experiences this week. We are teaching a older lady named Silvia, who is the grandma of a recent convert. We went and started teaching her about eternal marriage because her husband has passed away and she is already familiar with the church. But not far into the lesson, she asked about the angel on top of the temple and I went with what the spirit was prompting me to say and ended up teaching all about the book of mormon and the restoration (which is pretty much my favorite). And then we challenged her to pray about the prophet Joseph Smith and be baptized at the end of this month and she accepted. It was a really good lesson.

Yesterday we also had an interesting day. It was a "yoyo" day, with a lot of ups and downs. We had 5 investigators in church although two came after sacrament meeting. Kester, Erwin (who came last week too but we can never find him at home so we have never taught him), Coco, Liliana, and Shilo (María Auxiliadora). I was sad that Sofia and Erlin didn't come and that Miguel and the husband of Shilo (José) didn't show up either, but we'll keep fighting for them. After lunch we started out right at the end of the world cup finals. The street was completely deserted and after a few minutes, cheers errupted from every house, people banging pots and pans and lighting firecrackers... seriosly, a grand cacophony started up. It was crazy andmade me laugh. But then we couldn't find anyone at home, seriously, every single person and plan B and plan C that we had fell through. So we ended up contacting and then finally we went to see if José was home. He wasn't, of course, but Shilo let us in and we started to chat. Pretty soon she was telling us all about her son that died and how her heart aches because her daughters don't talk to her, don't even look at her when they come over, just to visit their dad. She said she feels abandoned by the Lord and almost doesn't have any hope left. I wish I had more time to tell you the details, but basically, we sat in her little house and cried together for a while. Then I pulled out some scriptures (1 Ne 21:14-16, Alma 7:11-13, Ether 12:4, Alma 32:27) and tried to help her find the peace and hope she needed. I know that the Savior and his perfect gospel can heal her heart and the hearts of her family members. I'm anxious to go back and keep teaching her and her husband because I know how much their lives can change. Pray for them.

And also pray for Liliana. She is awesome but it's a little hard to teach her because of her living situation. She lives with< her kids and two grandkids, but they don't have a roof, just a sheet of plastic and since it's the rainy season here, they are having a hard time. She works in the school by the Medina's and she takes the grandkids there to sleep at night. Also, the Medina family (parents) was assaulted and robbed yesterday. Crazy story but I don't have time to tell it... sad. They are all shaken up but doing fine, with purses a little lighter.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - mourn with those that mourn and let the Savior heal their hearts.

Love,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #42, July 5, 2010

2010-07-13T09:45:00.002-06:00

My dear lovelies in CALI,

I seriously loved your email this week. It made me miss being with you all, a whole lot, and with the fourth of July this week and all, but of course I know this is where I'm supposed to be. The Lord isn't done molding me as a missionary yet.

Wow, mama! I can't believe all your injuries! I'm so sorry you are so banged up. But at least you can relax a little bit in a very lovely place with all your family around. I'm sending you hugs and kisses though, so that you feel a little bit better. I want you to send me pictures of the new carpet and the house all fixed up nice. And of course, pictures with the Adlers when they arrive. I'm glad you are keeping track of the world cup a little bit. It's literally on in every house and as we walk through the streets we can hear people yelling and banging pots and pans whenever someone scores a goal. (Go Deutschland!) I feel bad for the Latino elders who are missing it (if they are being obedient... hahaha). It's kind of a big deal in this part of the world.

I got the package with Cactus Juice three weeks ago at the changes and so far it has helped but not eliminated the mosquito bites. In this rainy season, they are just horrible. We get bitten in every house we're in and when we're sitting there teaching a lesson they just feast on our poor legs. I'm still waiting for the other package to arrive.

Everyone in the office has been a little crazy these weeks with the mission presidente swap so we've felt a little neglected. We still don't have a desk or chairs or a cell phone so we continue to study on the floor or on our beds and the poor district leader and his companion have to stop by our house every night to get the numbers. And we still haven't even met the new president yet. Someone said we'll meet him this week though. We'll see about that.

So Erlin and Sofia didn't come to church yesterday and seem to be progressing really slowly and Dennis we haven't seen all week because he's been working a ton. We had a movie night at the Medina house this week and got some new families to teach which seem to be positive but they didn't come to church either. I was pretty disappointed on Sunday because when you don't have investigators in church, you don't baptize. We had one show up on his own who the elders actually contacted so we'll work with him. His name is Erwin. Also Miguel and Sandra are an older couple but really liked the Testaments movie and we taught them a great lesson about the Book of Mormon. And María Auxiliadora and her husband José Geronimo seem fairly positive as well. Hopelly we can get them to church.

Thanks for your spiritual thoughts and insights. I really love to hear about what you are studying about and thinking about in regards to the gospel. I liked Dad's thought about happiness or joy being directly proportional to our capacity to feel the spirit. I have been thinking about true happiness this week and I think Dad hit a key point. I made a big list of things I consider to be true happiness and what it all boiled down to was faith in Jesus Christ. True happiness is having faith in Jesus Christ and how do we obtain testimonies and grow our faith in Christ? Through the Holy Ghost testifying to our own spirits that He is the Christ. I think that the more we can cultivate spiritual experiences in our lives each day and as we get better and better at recognizing and following the spirit, our joy and happiness will grow. I love Ether 12:4 that talks about faith being an anchor to our souls. That sure foundation, the security in the face of anything that Satan can throw at you, for me, is real happiness. It doesn't depend on anyone or anything. And of course, cultivating the spirit comes through keeping the commandments and following each prompting received.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - happiness is in doing what's right and reaping the spiritual rewards.

I love you all more than my fan... which is a lot a lot.

Love,
Hna. Crosland

P.S. Will, we sure had some good times just the three of us livin' it up in Newport huh? Love your guts.

Letter #41, June 28, 2010

2010-06-29T09:11:00.004-06:00

Dear Mom and Dad (and everyone else),

I'm so hot. And sweaty. And itchy because I'm sweaty. And because there are gazillions of mosquitos in Managua it turns out. But I'm happy and getting to know the area and the members here. The send off of Pres. Fraatz was really nice. All the choir numbers turned out better than we had practiced, the talks were good, my duet went well, and I think the Fraatz family really enjoyed the day. After the spiritual part wehad lunch together and the APs hired a Gigantona (a costume of huge lady that someone puts on and dances) and the accompaning folk band. It was pretty funny and we got a lot of pictures, but unfortunately I didn't have my camera. I told some of the Hnas to send me some but that probably wont happen. So maybe in a year they'll show up on facebook. We still haven't met the new president. He arrive in Nicaragua yesterday and is with Pres. Fraatz for three days for some training. I imagine we'll meet him soon, but they really never tell us until the last minute when we have conferences or things. Luckily I'm actually in Managua now so it's not so hard to travel last minute. I suspect that the mission will change quite a bit with the new leadership, so I'll keep you updated. Hey Hna. Medina told me that 60 people from the stake were sent to Guatemala to be trained as temple workers... hmmmm! They haven't announced anything, not even the terrain of where the temple might be but I think it is coming!!

Sounds like you are busy with house stuff and vacations. Aren't summers wonderful like that? What day do the Adlers arrive? And are all four of them coming? How fun, I'm sad I'll miss them. Maybe we'll just have to take a visit to Germany and stay with them when I get back. Thanks for all your talks last week. They were lovely and I even translated a part of Dad's talk because I think it is really poignant what you said about what makes a ward great. I think the ward here could benefit from your talk daddy.

So Axel was baptized on Saturday. He's the son of a member in the ward, but her husband isn't a member and when Axel was 8, he didn't let him get baptized. But we visited and taught him a lot this past week and the week before and even had a Family night with the Dad and he gave his permission for Axel to get baptized. It was probably the smoothest baptism I've had so far. Being in sort of the center of the church here in Nicaragua does have it's benefits as far as how things run for the most part. Axel is 15 and loves to play soccer. Sofia and Erlin are a family we found last week. The first time we taught them, both were there but after that we've only been able to teach Sofia and they haven't come to church yet. But Sofia is really receptive and I really hope they come to church and start really progressing. Dennis is the son-in-law of another member, although he and the daughter aren't together anymore. It's a little hard for him to understand all that we teach him but he's a good guy and he has a baptismal date for the 10th of July. I hope the testimony really arrives in his heart and that he can understand the importance of the gospel.

Well, I was reading Jesus the Christ this week (I started reading it for the second time but this time a little slower with my Bible side by side, looking up the references), and I really found one of the notes at the end of chapter 9 to be intrigueing. It talkes about all the missing scripture that is mentioned in the bible but not contained therein. And in conjunction with 2 Ne 29 where it talkes about how all the nations of the earth will write the revelations from God and one day we will have the words of all. It was really cool. Ah! I totally ran out of time today... Love you all and being a missionary is the best thing in the world - because of all the study time!

Love,

Hna. Crosland

Happy nine months to me!

Letter #40 - June 22, 2010

2010-06-22T13:36:00.002-06:00

Dear Fam (and everyone who reads these... ),

Well the changes were a little less exciting this time because I already knew where I would be going. Ciudad Jardin (Garden City – although inappropriately named, haha) is an area in Managua. I am working with Hna.Tunche from Guatemala and we are actually not really opening an area, just splitting an existing area in two. So there are also two Elders that are working in our WARD, yes I said ward. We are in a real ward in a fully funccioning stake and it really does make a huge difference. Hna. Tunche is tiny and cute. Kind of quiet but super nice and I immediately liked her. The apartment is one small room with just enough space for our beds and a desk (although we don't have a desk yet, which makes studying a challenge... my bed now doubles as a desk and luckily, so far I've been managing just fine not falling asleep while studying.) There is a bite-sized closet which really only fits half the clothes of one person so I'm living out of my suitcase which is tucked under the bed. And we have a tiny bathroom which is only a mite bigger than the one I had in Jinotega. But the house is clean and comfortable and we have two fans the we run all night long to keep us cool. Hna. Tunche made a little sign that said ¡Bienvenida Hermana! And put it above my bed so I felt very welcome when we first arrived!

We eat all three meals at the house of one of the pioneer families of the church here in Nicaragua. Familia Medina consists of Maritza (mom), Jimmy (dad), Jimmy (son), Jennifer daughter), and the other daughter who is serving her mission in Uraguay (I forgot her name...) But all of them have served missions and Jimmy(dad)'s father was the first branch president and then later the first bishop of the members here. They are really great and open and warm and take good care of us. Jimmy-dad is the ward mission leader and the whole family is extremely invovled and supportive of the missionary work here. This area has it's own unique challenges and problems as well, but so far I really like it here. It's way hot and I feel like I'm going to get run over by cars all the time, but most everyone has a bit more money here and the houses are nicer. However, that also means that the people are less receptive and you can even tell within the members that they resent the poorer members. The ward feels a little less unified than the branches I've been in where everyone is on the same level. It's interensting what having money does.

It's really nice to be close to everything though and instead of costing about 5 dollars and 3 plus hours to get to the mission conferences, it only takes about 13 cents and 20 minutes. How lovely. Tomorrow we have our send off conference, the last one we will ever have with Pres. Fraatz. I am singing in the choir and doing a duet with Hna. Lee. We're going to sing FOR GOOD from Wicked. It reminds me of when we sang it with our little cuartet with Deb and Jenn Weiss and I think Erin was singing with us at that time too. Good music, good times.

So I got the package with the books of mormon and other necesidades. Thank you thank you thank you! I loved the pictures of China and the planned add on looks awesome. You have my approval! Haha. And I think you are going to have to take me back to China. How gorgeous that country is. Also, I'm a little embarrassed that you spent so much on that scripture marking pencil, even though I love it. That was like 550 córdobas, which is a stinking lot of money. But thank you thank you. You do so much for me.

We have some good investigators that I want you to pray for. I'll write more about them next week when I have a bit more time but for now, just pray for Dennis, Axel, and Sofia y Erlin.

And I also wish I had more time to give my DADDY a proper Happy Father's Day tribute. I just can't find words for how grateful I am for my Dad. I have taken the priesthood power and having a worthy patriarch in my home for granted all my life. It just doesn't seem fair that I have been so blessed to have my Dad, my earthly example of my Heavenly Father who leads and
guides us humbly and righteously. Daddy, I love you. I don't know what I would do without you.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - even when your daddy is a world away.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #39 - June 15, 2010

2010-06-15T13:52:00.000-06:00

Happy NINE months to me this week! How weird to be about half way done. On one hand, I can't believe that I've been here that long and on the other, nine more months still seems like an eternity.

This week we baptized Idaida, the wife of Omar who was baptized last week. It felt so good to see them together after her confirmation, a new couple in the church. They both came to the District Conference on Sunday with their little daughter.

The conference was so good and Elder Duartes of the second quorum of the 70 spoke. He told us about the three siempres and the two nuncas that he and his wife promised each other when they first got married. The siempres are 1) always have family prayer, script

ures, and FHE. That is kind of three in one but we went with it. The second 2) always pay a full tithe and 3) always serve in the church. He talked about how every calling in the church is important and that is the beauty of serving in the church. The bishops of the wards next calling could be a primary teacher. It's not like a ladder in the church. He also spoke of the blessings of paying tithing in his and his families lives. The two nuncas were 1) never go to bed without resolving differences with your spouse and 2) never yell or abuse your spouse in any way. That is surprisingly a problem here. The way the culture does discipline is by yelling and hitting. These were all really basic things but it was interresting that as he was speaking I kept thinking, Yes! He is giving them the secrets to life, the keys of happiness. The whole conference was really good and fortifying for the members and the recient converts and I was glad that we had about 125 people there from Jinotega.

So other news is that because of a mistake on the APs part, I already know about the changes this wednesday... I will be leaving Jinotega and my new area is Ciudad Jardin in Managua. I'm excited and a little aprehensive because the elders told me that it's a new area we will be opening up. That means that things will be hard at the beginning but exciting. I still have no idea who my companion is or anything, but it will surely be another huge learning experience like everything is on a mission. Well, I am sadly out of time and I didn't even write anything very funny or interesting this week. Sorry for the boring email guys. I love you all a whole bunch though.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - bringing families to the truth.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #38 - June 7, 2010

2010-06-08T22:23:00.004-06:00

Hello loved ones,
Thanks for the great emails this week. And a special thanks to Willy-face. It was good to hear from you. :) So I think I've reached my maximum ugliocity here on the mission. Chubby, sweaty, bug-bitten, and sun-burned with damaged hair. Good thing there is no one to impress... although it does make sending photos a little embarrassing. So don't judge. Haha, I'm taking care of more important things than how pretty I look these days.

Me in my rain boots, which I've used three times.
(Editor's note: "maximum ugliocity? try cutesiosity)

Happy happy birthday ALI DEAR! Sorry I didn't mention it in the last email so the shout out is a day late. But I'm happy to hear that the package got there safe and in time. Did the jicaro cup break or did it get there in one piece? And you can just stash my journal and agendas somewhere where I'll be able to find them in 10 months. Of course you can use whatever part of whichever letter you want to use. If they can be of use to uplift another, please use them.

We had another "preparation day" where we just wore ourselves out and didn't prepare a thing. Haha. It was another "Super P-day" where the whole mission got together and went to the Masaya Volcano. I actually had already seen it (in December with Hna. Bustillos) but this time we didn't get to go into the cave. But it was really fun to be together will all the missionaries and see friends. We were all together last monday as well, looking at pictures of all the weddings from the activity on May 28, playing soccer, and eating pizza. I think Pres. Fraatz is just super happy to be finishing a successful mission and wants to celebrate a bit. But travelling was definitely less than comfortable. We had to leave Jinotega on the 4am bus to Managua to meet with the rest of the zone and get to Masaya in time. And to my utter dejection, the bus was standing room only when it pulled up so we were sardined in there and rode on our feet for three hours this morning. Needless to say, I'm little tired in body and mind.

The Masaya Volcano

A bug that Elder Speer found and decided needed to be in my picture. Thanks Elder Speer. :)

The Hermanas at the volcano

(Our favorite Hermana)

This week Omar Castillo was baptized. His wife Idaida felt unprepared and wanted to see a baptism first and there was nothing I could say to reassure her and convince her to get baptized this week with her husband. So we're going to work with her a lot this week and she'll get baptized this coming Saturday. Omar's baptism went really smoothly as far as baptisms in Nicaragua go. We had to make a few last minute calls to get enough priesthood holders there to be witnesses and there was a bit of a clothing crisis, but nothing we couldn't handle. The biggest lessons I'm learning this week have to do with patience and my companion, but I'm not going to say more on that subject. Just that I really am learning no to let outside circumstances affect my attitude. I've been happy despite a lot of interesting stuff this week.

Omar's baptism

Hna. Hernandez and I on a street in Jinotega next to a little fruit market

I'm excited for Dad to get all plugged in and started with his new ward. When is the first Sunday? Soon right? I'll think of good ward prayer ideas and hopefully have time to write more next week. Also, I think the mission is already essentially split and unless something drastic happens, I'll be staying in mission north. Our new president is named Pres. Arredondo from Guatemala. We'll meet him soon I think. The change conference is the 16th, and we have a sending-off surprize conference for Pres. Fraatz on the 22 and Elder Sanders (AP) asked me to sing a duet with Hna. Lee. We're going to sing For Good from Wicked and I think it will be really nice. So things will be changing, I don't know how much, but we'll find out. Elder Gomez, one of our zone leaders who is actually from Nicaragua, but has lived in the US a lot too and speaks perfect English, in fact we call him a fake Latino, pointed out the supposed plot for the temple as we were driving through Managua today but I don't know if he actually knows. They haven't said anything more than they are looking for terreno, so nothing new to report there.

Well there is actually not a whole lot to tell this week. I love you all mucho mucho mucho.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - even if you're an ugly one. :)

Love, Hna. Crosland

Me and Becky, the cutest thing in Jinotega

Letter #37 - June 2, 2010

2010-06-03T07:38:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the really late email. And thanks for the funny picture, I am feeling much better. Just a little bug. To be honest, I've only had diarrhea once on my mission... it's just lasted for 8 months now. Haha.

So we had some exciting news this week. President Fraatz let us know that in the month of May, as a mission we baptized and confirmed 621 people in Nicaragua and that number included 105 families. That is seriously incredible. We have a huge focus on families as a mission because that is the best way to build the church and retain converts. It is harder to baptize a mom and a dad than a single person and much harder than baptizing kids, which has been done in a lot of missions in central and south america in the past. But it is super hard to retain kids without their parents and children are not filling the leadership positions necesarry to build up the church in these countries. And a family with father and mother can support each other and are more likely to stay strong in the church. So that is our huge focus and baptizing 105 families in one month is almost unheard of. But the news was bitter sweet for me because for the first time since I got to Nicaragua, I went the entire month without a baptism. But, we did have a miracle at the end of last week and we have a family to baptize on Saturday. So here's the miracle marriage story:

President Fraatz let the whole mission know the second week of May that each zone was going to have a two day activity of marriages and baptisms the 28 and 29 of May. And that each companionship needed to have two families prepared to be baptized on the 29th. Well, Hna. Hernandez and I have been working primarily with families for the last few weeks and we had a bunch of potential families. Now everyone knows that in your big pool of investigators, there are a few who progress and a lot who don't. Well, with all the families that we were teaching we cried week after week as they gave us all the excuses in the world not to come to church. All of the positive families that we had seemed to be falling through. So the week of the activity we were without one single family to baptize, but at the zone meeting the AP's put the pressure on the ZL's and they told us to work miracles and to find the families to bring to the activity.

So we got home and I started praying, and I prayed a lot, a whole lot. And when I got up off my knees, I went to the area book and started looking through the list of past investigators. Within just a few seconds I found the teaching record of Omar and Idaida, a family who had been to church a bunch of times, had had all the lessons, but couldn't get married because Omar couldn't pay for a divorce from his first wife. So we took down the direction and set out to find them. That was the first miracle. The second miracle was that we actually found them and that they were both home. They had moved to a different house so it was kind of a wild goose chase to find them, but that's actually how it always is even with a good direction and people who haven't moved. The addresses are so vague here, "from where the saw mill used to be, one block to the lake and 25 feet to the north..." used to be? how are we supposed to find that? and that would be a pretty clear direction

So anyway, I said another prayer, upped my faith and proceeded to tell them that the Lord had guided us to their house because He is mindful of their situation and that He wanted them to be married and baptized in two days. Hmm... actually it went over pretty well. They told us about their situation and we went to work trying to find a way to resolve it. It was kind of a tricky divorce because althought it was written by the lawyer about 15 years ago, it was never registered. So we made a bunch of calls to the Elders who were working with the lawyers to get a bunch of their own families married and long story short, they made it possible. Then the day of the activity arrived and we found a place to rent a microbus for the evening/night so that we could travel to Matagalpa and back and then went to visit Omar and Idaida to make sure everything was a go. Well, Omar was in Managua with his police squad and wasn't going to be back until the evening and Idaida told us that her mother was really sick so she was going to visit her in a neighboring town and that she couldn't go to the activity either. Ahhh! So we talked to her a bunch, called her husband and found out exactly when he would be back and got them back on board. Then we went to some other appointments.

When we returned about an hour before the bus was supposed to leave, Omar had just gotten home and he told us that his jefe had just told them about a mandatory meeting for all the police officers in Jinotega that he had to be to in 45 minutes. Yikes. I had no idea how we were going to get out of this one. But there is another member of the ward who is a police officer so we called him, and long story short, he was able to get permission for Omar to come to the activity. Well all said and done, they went and got married and even though they coulnd't get baptized that saturday, they are going to be baptized this saturday and I am wonderfully happy, and really tired, but with strengthened faith in the Lord.

I am learning some hard lessons right now. I think I'm at a critical point in my mission where I am really figuring out who I am as a missionary and as a disciple. I gave my farewell talk on discipleship, but I've come to realize that I really didn't have a clue what that meant. I didn't know what it meant to receive counsel from leaders that I didn't understand or that seemed illogical, impossible, or even erroneous and then find the faith to sacrifice everything to do it anyway. I understand more personally the early saints of the church who were asked to make incredible sacrifices and follow a prophet in counsel that seemed ludicrous. I used to think that this mission was insane. When President Fraatz asked us to put four baptismal dates a day I thought it was impossible, but I had a companion who knew better, who had a lot more faith than I did and she showed me it was possible. I still fight with myself when the standards are raised to impossible heights or we are asked to do things that seem contrary to the way I think they should be done. But I am learning to have faith, to trust my leaders and not hearken to my own understanding, and then sacrifice more than I thought I had and do the impossible to accomplish whatever is asked of me. I think that is how the Lord has always worked, but I haven't ever really recognized it so harshly before. There is example after example of it in the scriptures, Abraham sacrificing his son, Nephi killing Laban (and doing just about everything else that he did), Alma and the sons of Mosiah's missions to the Lamanites, the army of Captain Moroni winning unconquerable battles, the brother of Jared building barges and finding light to cross the ocean... Joseph Smith said something to the effect of, a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things will never have the power sufficient enough to produce the faith necessary for salvacion. I am coming to understand that quote, even though I still fight against it sometimes.

Well long email and I didn't even get to a few things, but my time is up.

I love you all a whole lot more than I know how to express.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - learning lessons for forever.

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S.

Mom, I am damp a lot of the time, but Hna. Bustillos left me her rainboots and I've used them twice now, to my utmost delight. They make trekking through the rivers that used to be streets a lot more pleasant. Don't worry about me at all. The Lord is taking good care of me. Love you.

Letter #36 - May 24, 2010

2010-05-24T12:55:00.001-06:00

Hey friends and fam,

We had our conferencia multizona this week which wiped out a good day and a half because of all the traveling, but it was really good to hear from Pres.Fraatz and have classes from the office elders. I always feel edified and leave with new goals of how I can improve. We didn't get Ronaldo y Rosa Idalia to church again... and neither of the other two families I told you about last week came either. Darn. But Osmin was there and we taught a really awesome lesson on the atonement in the class of investigators/recent converts. And Ivania and her kids came.

We had a baptism lined up with Concepción, a single mom with 5 kids under the age of 12. But since we had the conference in the middle of the week we couldńt go visit her and when the DL's came out to interview her Friday night, she had left to work. I was so frustrated. We had set up the appointment with her and everything. So we came back at 7 am the next morning and she had just left to go work again. We tried to get any information about where she was working from her kids and other people that live there, but only got the general area. So we went out to search for her for a couple of hours, but by about 9 we had our first appointments and the elders had to get back to their area. I had a bit of a breakdown and had a good cry, but then we got to work and the day went a little better. It's hard for Concepción because she is incredibly poor and trying to support five kids, so she is basically washing and ironing clothes for other people to earn money all the time. She comes in way late at night and often leaves at 5 in the morning. We'll keep trying to find her and help her understand how the gospel is going to bless her life even though it will take away some work time.

I am learning more and more what it means to sacrifice. We have been on a new schedule for three weeks now. Waking up at 5am instead of 630am and getting out on the streets to work at 9 instead of 1030. Honestly, I haven't seen a drastic improvement but I have faith the the Lord will bless us. And Presidente Fraatz said that it really has made a big difference in the mission because all the missionaries are doing it.

It has really started to pour super hard everyday. We've been lucky to be near houses where we can jump inside when it starts and haven't gotten drenched yet, but it tests your patience when you're stuck in someone's house for a good hour while the rain passes and you had bunch of people you needed to see. That's what happened on Saturday. We were working in an area called Los Angeles when it started to dump buckets of rain so we knocked on the door of a couple that we had contacted the week before. We hadn't had the chance to go back and visit them yet so we really didn't know them, but they were happy to invite us in out of the rain. Unfortunately when it's the enormous drops of rain are pelting the zinc roofs, no one can hear absolutely anything anyone says... so we tried to sing a hymn and then sort of sat trying to talk and mostly looking and smiling at each other until I started falling asleep. At that point the daughter invited us to come to the back and make tortillas with the mom.

It was pretty funny, because I'm still really bad at palmeando or making tortillas but they gave us all the ones we made to eat, probably because they were ugly. Then the daughter asked if we liked beans... funny question, what else are you going to eat in Nicaragua if you don't like beans? So we said yes and she proceeded to cook us a huge pot of beans and gave us each a heaping plate of steaming hot beans, three more tortillas and a bit of cheese called cuajada. And we had just eaten lunch... wow, I thought I was going to burst and out would spill all the beans from my belly onto the dirt floor. But I was really touched at how open and kind and generous the people are here.

They invite anyone inside to escape the rain and then give them all that they have. They are truly Christ-like examples in that aspect. I hope I can learn to sacrifice the best I have and to serve others like that, not expecting anything in return and not saving the best for me. I hope I am learning to sacrife my own wants and comforts to serve like Christ did and truly help others in every way that I can for the rest of my life. I think that mothers learn to do that really fast.

Congrats to my newest mother-friend, Ms. Erin Sorensen, may you find all the most beautiful joy in sacrifice with your new little boy. Well, my time is up!

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - because sacrifice builds faith.

I love you all more than I can say. Thanks for your letters and words of love and support. They make a world of difference while we're a world away.

LOVE, Hna. Crosland

Hna Juarez and I on the last P-day before she left

All of the zone crammed into a microbus on our way to a Multizona Conference. I couldn't believe how many missionaries we jammed into one tiny space for a three hour bus ride in the Nicaraguan heat.

A rad pig I met.

A few pictures from the Young Single Adult Activity from a few weeks ago.

Letter #35 - May 17, 2010

2010-05-17T22:50:00.002-06:00

Hi lovelies,

This week makes three in row without a baptism and we've had pretty sad numbers at church. It's really easy to see and monitor progress by the baptisms and church attendance, and after a week of hard work, it hurts when there is nothing to show for it. We were hoping to baptize Ivania and her kids this week, and one of the APs and our zone leader came out to get them excited and teach/interview them, but we went to her house in the morning and she was busy, but the elders kind of pushed their way in and tried to teach/talk to her anyway and they ended up just making her way mad. So there went our baptisms. Trying to push people around just never works.

But, we taught some bang-a-rang lessons this week to some of the recent converts who are now less active (and inactive) members of the ward that I've been working with for over 3 months. We felt the spirit so strong and they were so pumped up and excited to come to church, committed to come with zeal.... and they didn't show. It just about killed me. I was so sure they would finally come. We also really needed to get family (Ronaldo y Rosa Idalia) to church so they start really progressing and they put up a bunch of excuses Sunday morning. However, we did have 8 investigators at church and two of them were even a family. Teaching families is the best thing ever. It's just sad when you think you've found a really awesome family that is going to progress and then you find out that one of them is married to someone else still... not that many people care or much less have the money to get a divorce in Nicaragua. That's happened to us twice in the last month. So that's the pits, but we are working with 2 families that are actually legally married and a couple more who aren't married but who don't have a divorce standing in the way.

Ronald and Rosa Idalia had the discussions like 5 years ago but they moved to a new area and I think the missionaries lost them. They went to church with them at least once the first time around, but they didn't come this week with us. Hopefully next week we can get them both there. Ronaldo is a lot more positive than his wife but when we can get her to sit down and listen she always softens up.

The other married family was a reference from one of the oldest members in the branch (has the most time to be a member of the church). It's his son and daughter in law. Hno. Cesar is a very interesting ward member. He's about 65 and joined the church almost 20 years ago. His wife and 8 kids are all super catholic and basically disowned him (and divorced him) when he joined the church. But he still lives in the same house as his ex-wife.

The lesson with his son actually went really well though. We talked about eternal families and the restoration of the sealing power and they were really interested and had good questions. They live in a dangerous area for us to work in after dark though and since they work all week, we can only teach them on Sundays. Which means it will be hard to get them to church and progress will be a little slow but I think that they have a lot of potential too.

The family that came to church yesterday are called Julio Cesar and Kenia. He's about 35 and she's 17... but whatever. They've got a cute one year old and they are both mildly interested, but they did come to church. What I like about them is they are frank with us. They don't lie and they don't hide. That always saves us time...

Another who came to church is named Osmin. He is 20 and was a reference from another ward member. I help him learn english and then we preach the gospel. So far it's working out nicely. I think it would be amazing to baptize him and prepare him for a mission... How sweet would it be to have someone you taught on a mission? That's my dream with him anyway.

Wow, I feel like this email is super boring. I'm getting good at soccer again. We play every monday and I'm always the only hermana who likes to play. I made two goals today and had a direct assit in two others. It's fun to play with the latino elders. They're way good. Well, really that's all that happened this week, we taught a lot of sweet lessons and then no one came to church and our baptism fell through... bummer. But the work goes on and we keep praying and working with all we've got to find those whose hearts are prepared to receive greater blessings than they ever thought possible.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - even when you can't see the fruits...

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. Thanks for sending me stuff. Wow, you guys are on the ball. And I don't think I told you last week, the stuff you sent with the Sheets came through pouch this week. Thanks so much! The talks are amazing. And the singing card just about made my week. Jajaja, you guys are a hoot. I miss your crazy faces.

Here is a pic I sent to our zone leaders last week. This is the zone Matagalpa before the last changes. The sisters from left to right are Hna. Aguilar, Hna. Bustillos, yo, Hna. López, Hna. Zavaleta, Hna. Escobar, Hna. Juarez, Hna. Estrada, y Hna. Pineda. All of my comps are in this photo (except for Hna. Hernandez). Fun huh? Sorry I haven't sent any interesting pics for a long time... I'll try harder next week.

Love me.

Letter #34 - May 10, 2010

2010-05-11T13:10:00.003-06:00

Yay! It was so fun to talk to you all yesterday. I'm so glad everyone is happy and healthy in body and spirit. It is really an incredible support to have a family like you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, for everyone else who doesn't know... I'm still in Jinotega and I'm not training. My new companion is Hna. Hernandez from Guatemala. She's bold and not afraid to say it how it is, so that's mostly a good thing. :)

It is nice to be back in Jinotega working like a normal missionary after the last week and a half of activity planning. It's amazing the progress we lose in such a short time of not working. Satan works 24/7 and when we are doing other things, he never rests. We've had a less than steller church attendance the last two weeks and I don't know if we are going to baptize this week, but we have a lot of faith and we're going to work dang hard.

It's started to rain more consistantly. It drizzles at least every day and we've had about three really good monsoons in the last week. I think I'll be damp for the next 6 months of my mission. But, everything is looking more green and beautiful and that is nice. This place really is gorgeous when you get out of the city and look past the trash.

So Paige asked about our investigators yesterday and I realized that I need to repent and write more about the people we are teaching. So here is my repentance, and a few words about some of the interesting people we've met and taught:

1) Felix - an old guy who actually lives about 20 minutes away by bus. He raises chickens and pigs and has a beautiful piece of land and charming house in the mountains outside of the city. He has been investigating the church for about three years, knows it's true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet but wont stop drinking coffee... He's very interesting and very frustrating to teach.

2) Ivania and kids - the wife of a recent convert named José Luis. She can't read and doesn't ever want to pray, but she comes to church and to a lot of the activities. We're still waiting for her to give permission to baptize her two kids, Irvin and Leila.

3) Armando y Yamileth - a lovely pair who are not married, but have two little kids. She really likes everything we teach but hasn't been able to come to church yet, in part because of her crazy three year old. He doesn't want to get married but has come to church once. We're gonna keep working on him.

4) Melba y Noel - she has been to church about 3 times and knows it's true. The problem is that she is living with Noel but is still married to the father of her two sons. Divorces are really expensive and take a ton of time... downer.

5) Concepción - single mom who likes the lessons. She can't read but is really humble and accepts the principles.

As the others we are teaching start to progress, I'll fill you in on a few more. We just usually baptize our investigators pretty fast so all the ones with a continual story are the ones with big hold ups. Anyway. There you go. I'll try to better about letting you know how they are all doing.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - especially when you get to talk to your family.

Love, love, love,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #33 - May 3, 2010

2010-05-04T13:32:00.003-06:00

Hey Ma and Pa,

I feel like I'm writing just to you two today for some reason, and it's kind of nice. It's a smaller more intimate crowd. First of all, answers to your questions. My toe is feeling just fine, thank you :). This week was insane with all the planning. The church is new here and the district (stake) leaders are still learning how to do things on such big level. Basically we pulled off an activity that would have taken months of planning in Utah in just a week. And when I say we, I mean the missionaries. I don't really know how we ended up being in charge of mostly everything and actually I don't know if the district intended us to be either, but we spent a big chunk of the afternoon planning on Tuesday after the zone meeting, Tuesday night and Wednesday Hna. Juarez and I worked in our area and then Thursday morning we caught the first bus back to Matagalpa to finish planning and buy all the things we needed and set up for the activity which took place Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We butt heads with the district a little bit when it came to the budget and we found out that we had been planning things a little bit differently. I don't know how they were thinking to pull this activity off with trying to plan everything the day before.

It was a good thing that we took the initiative and had detailed plans for the activities and the decorations. Friday evening about 150 young single adults arrived and we had a brief spiritual meeting with a hymn, a welcome, a brief message from one of the district counsellors, a testimony, and I organized a last minute missionary choir (yikes). Then everyone went in to the cultural hall which we decorated with a huge net filled with balloons hung from the ceiling and big letters that said CONVENCIÓN JAS 2010 on the wall in back of the stage. We also covered the light on the stage with blue crepe paper and it looked really cool. The noche de talentos went really well but I don't know what happened with housing everyone that night because we weren't in charge of that part and I think a bunch of kids ended up sleeping in the church. The morning activity was a hike which also turned out to be terribly unorganized but the scavenger hunt that we planned for the afternoon was awesome and everyone had a really good time. Hna. Juarez and I left in the afternoon before the fiesta but they told us that it turned out to be really fun. They all had a testimony meeting Sunday morning at 6:00am as well and the Presidente of the district told us that it was really spiritual and he was really pleased. Well, all in all it was a success I guess. Now they will be able to learn from the mistakes to make the next activity like this much better. Phew!

As far as teaching and contacting this week, it was pretty sad. Like I said, we only worked in Jinotega for a day and a half and I am really worried about the area. Our church attendance dropped by about 25 people and we haven't been able to go back and teach a lot of our new investigators. And now I'm back in Matagalpa in a trio with the hermanas working here until the changes this wednesday. Hna. Juarez left for Managua to have her final interview this morning and she leaves for Guatemala tomorrow. I already miss her a ton. She taught me a lot about the kind of missionary I want to be. Always positive, and never doubting. That girl really knew how to get things done. She was not an excuse maker, just a do-er. Yep, I want to do that too. Well, I'm a little bit nervous I might train this change. I don't think I'll be leaving Jinotega since I'm the only one that knows the area right now, but we never know. I'm really excited to get back to a normal schedule though and work in my own area. As fun as party planning is, it really has been the strangest week of my mission.

Congrats to Will on making snare. That is awesome. It will be a fun summer for him on the drumline again. I'm sad I'll miss all the shows... but for his senior year I'll be there! How's good ol' Dr. Fullmer doing? How crazy that Will is going to be driving soon and have his braces off. Everyone is growing up, seriously. So weird. Help Will work hard in his calling. He can do a lot to strengthen his quorum. I never realized the importance of every member and every calling in the church. We are called to build the kingdom everyday in every calling that we have and the Lord uses us, very plain and ordinary people, to accomplish miracles if we are willing to work with an open heart and mind to heed the guidance of the Spirit.

I wish I could see Ali dance! Oh what I would do to have been at her final concert. I hope you recorded it so I can watch it when I get back. What a fun and exciting (and hard) time she is embarking on. I know she'll shine too, mama. She always has. Is Megan still up there at BYU-I? That will be such a great experience for her.

Well, my time is running short. Thanks for your beautiful words full of wisdom and gratitude daddy. I feel just the same. Being here has opened my eyes to so many problems that I never saw before. There is so much work to do. It's a lifetime calling. And it makes me tremendously grateful for my family and all that the Lord has blessed me with. It has also given me such a clear vision of what I want my future to look like. Thank you for being such beautiful examples to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, like nothing is getting through, like I can't possibly make a difference. But I know that I am here for a wise purpose and as I continue to do all in my power and then more with the power of the Lord, He will make up the difference.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - building the kingdom one nation-wide single adult activity at a time.

All my love,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #31 - April 16, 2010

2010-04-26T22:41:00.002-06:00

Dear Everyone,

It's been a bit of a crazy week. We had interviews and meetings all day Tuesday and Wednesday morning I was in the hospital getting an ingrown toenail taken care of. The hospital in Jinotega is seriously a scary place. I'm glad it was nothing more serious than an ingrown toenail that I was being treated for. They shot up my toe with anesthesia which hurt like crazy and then cut out the ingrown part of my nail. I used one shoe and one sandal for a few days but that wasn't very ideal so I'm back to my shoes and so far haven't had any more problems. Phew!

We're planning a huge three day activity for all the young single adults in Nicarauga this weekend. It should be awesome. It's going to be here in Matagalpa (the zone that I'm in, not my area) so the missionaries here are in charge of planning everything. A little crazy but fun too...

We got new mission standards or goals I guess and it's been amazing to see what the Lord is able to do with missionaries who put their trust in him even when the task seems impossible. I was skeptical and really lacking faith at first that we could accomplish all that is being asked of us, but I had a really good interview with Pres. Fraatz and I decided stop questioning the sanity of my leaders and just work hard and have faith. We don't meet every goal every day but the improvement has been drastic. We put nearly four baptismal dates every day with people we contact in the street.

Now, not all of these get baptized, but we are better able to discern which people will really progress and focus on those who are willing to change their lives. I think a big part of what I have learned, and what I continue to learn here is that when what the Lord asks seems crazy, illogical, or even impossible, the only thing to do is augment your faith and do it anyway. Just do it. So we have to find four people each day willing to accept a baptismal date, we just do it. And the Lord puts those people in our path when we believe it can be done. For me, my mission has been one impossible obstacle after another, but I am learning that I can do ANYTHING
with faith in my Savior. It's humbling and empowering at the same time.

Well I love you all very much. Good luck with all that you are doing and know that nothing is impossible. The Lord is building us into the men and women for the eternities.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - SÍ SE PUEDE!

with all my love,

Hna. Crosland

Letter #30 - April 19, 2010

2010-04-20T06:11:00.004-06:00

Wow, thanks for the great email this week.

I am so excited for and proud of you Daddy. Thanks for sharing your experience with me about being ordained. The priesthood is so amazing to me and its power is real and all encompassing. You are going to bless that ward and those students so much! And what an exciting and changing time for the family. I wish I could be there and be here at the same time.

Well the sun is starting to shine in Provo and the rain is starting to fall in Nicaragua. It's pretty crazy hearing it pelt the tin roofs here. You can barely hear each other talk and the dirt roads turn into muddy rivers. Lucky Hna. Bustillos left her big rubber boots for me to use for the next few months. Which brings me to the departure of Hna. Bustillos and Hna. Aguilar. They are both home in their houses as I write this. How weird to think about. I miss them already. It was really hard to say goodbye to them, not knowing when will be the next time I'll see them. I learned so much from those hermanas. I want to be like them in so many ways. But I am excited to finish out this change with just the two of us still here, me and Hna. Juárez. She is awesome. Yesterday she committed two people to a baptismal date in two different contacts. Salvaje, I have to learn how to do that. She also goes home in just two weeks. Well, really there isn't a whole lot to say this week. We had the conferencia multi-zona this week and it was really good. Pres. Fraatz talked a lot about our goals for the future, here in the mission and also in life. It made me want to work harder and especially to work with more faith, knowing that I really can meet the high expectations and goals placed upon me.

Sometimes the council we receive from our leaders seems illogical or too difficult to follow with exactness, but I am learning to have more faith and not to question. This is the Lord's work, He is in charge and it is He who will provide the way. All we have to do is trust in Him with our whole heart and soul and give everything we have to His marvellous work. Wow, time is up and I wanted to write back to you all. Sorry Ali and Sam in particular. You will hear individually from me next week. I promise. That's so great that you saw Maclaine, Mom. I wish I had her email so that I could write to her. Well, loves, until next week.

And I can't believe that I in just a few weeks I get to hear all your voices again. !Que rapido¡

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - obedience for eternity.

Love, Hna.Crosland

Letter #29 - April 12, 2010

2010-04-12T16:14:00.005-06:00

Hey travellers, glad you're all home and that you had a fantastic time in China.

This week was a little bit crazy, a little bit cool. We had four baptisms, two in the cascades of San Ramon and two in the font at the church Sunday morning. It's weird because I wasńt involved in the teaching of these four very much. One of them, Elizabeth, I worked with and taught when I was with Hna. Aguilar but the others not really. So now when Hna. Aguilar and Juarez are both gone in three weeks, I'll have a bunch of recent converts to work with that I don't know very well. Weird. But oh well. Working with two sets of missionaries in one area is hard, but it's only for one more week.

I'll be sad when Hna. Aguilar leaves this Sunday, but being back to two will be nice. So this Saturday, the whole Zone travelled to San Ramon, an area in our zone with some cool cascades to do the baptisms of all the people in all the areas. We had about 30 baptisms in all. It was a short hike to get in to the cascades but everyone made it and it was really cool. About 15 minutes after we got there it started to pour, so everyone ended up getting drenched, not just the baptizers and baptizees. And the hike back was pretty slippery but everyone made it just fine. It was funny because for the first few baptisms, everyone clapped and cheered. A little bit of apostasy for you but what can you do?

The weirdest thing this week though, was teaching a lesson in English. A lady in our branch has a son in law from the United States and this son in law has a guy from England, Machay is his name I think and another girl from Indiana living with them. They all speak a little bit of Spanish and the lady in our branch was talking to them last week and Machay expressed interest in reading the book of mormon, but in English. Well I just happened to have a copy in English that I never gave away in the airport 5 months ago, so I brough it and taught them both yesterday. It was so weird and words kept coming out in Spanish. It was also weird because these people were so different from anyone I've taught here in Nicaragua. The majority of the people in Nicaragua that we teach just smile and nod and you really have to wonder if anything you are saying is sinking in or if they understand.

These people asked a ton of questions and challenged me on everything. On top of that, I was teaching without a companion to support me so it was super hard. But when we left they had committed to read and pray about the Book of Mormon and I'm going back to teach them next Sunday. Such a different experience. It made me realize how different everyone's missions are. I feel like the challenges here are very unique, but every mission has it's unique challenges. It was refreshing to have my views challenged, to think and question a little deeper and to feel the deeply rooted conviction I have that what I am teaching is good and true and right even when the world has such different views. Here in Christian land, it's easy to forget that not everyone believes in God and Jesus Christ the same way that we do and to remember again, how lost we are without the Savior.

I know this church is true. My confidence in God's plan for His children on the earth is sure. Some may say that our vision is narrow and that our beliefs are binding, but I feel more liberated and open-minded the more I study the gospel and learn about the true nature of human kind and our journey here on the earth. The plan is perfect. God knows each of us and loves us. Jesus Christ is the Savior of us all and we need Him so desperately. We can find the kind of deep, abiding happiness that lasts forever as we strive to live in accordance with God's eternal and unalterable laws.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world--we have the truth, and the truth sets us free.

Love,

Hna Crosland

Letter #28 - April 5, 2010

2010-04-05T19:03:00.003-06:00

Hey everyone (especially those luckies in China),

So both the packages arrived this week and my companions and I have been enjoying the delicious contents. Unfortunately the goodies are not helping me fit into my clothes any better. The shoes are lovely and very comfortable. I noted all the sweet features Dad, thanks. :)

Okay, I have to tell you about the day that just wasn't our day this week. Saturday we battled with the internet in the morning and only got to watch a tiny bit of conference. The evening session went a little bit better, but then the evening took a turn for the worse. After dinner we had an appointment with a man we had contacted earlier in the week. He lives in an area called Carlos Rizo. I knew about where the area was but wasn't familiar with it at all. So we finally found it and started asking around to try and figure out exactly where he lived. The addresses here are crazy and very vague so you pretty much have to get as close as you can and then hope the neighbors know the person you are looking for. Well, we were directed to climb up a huge dirt hill and ask again. Once we got to where we thought was plenty far up, we asked and were directed to keep climbing. At this point I started thinking of how on earth we were going to get down without slipping to our deaths. After a little while, we were on a narrow dirt path between some houses and the hugest pig I have ever seen was standing in the middle of it. Hmmm... what to do now, right?

So we looked around and saw some ladies standing in front of their house. I called out to them and one of them turned out to be the mother of the guy we were looking for. We crossed over to their house and as we were passing by the side of it, one of their dogs suddenly jumped up and bit Hna. Bustillos. She was very brave and held back tears as she asked the extremely disinterested lady if her son was home (which he wasn't), if she had heard of the church (which she had), and invited her to church (to which she basically shrugged her shoulders). She was also very uninterested that her dog had just bitten my companion. Well, after that complete waste of time, we made our way slowly down the hill and only slipped a little bit.

When we got back into town, Hna. Bustillos pulled out her agenda and promptly dropped it through a grate in the street. It tottered for a few heart-wrenching seconds between two bars and then down it went. Two little boys heard our cries of dismay and one of them quickly offered to shove his hand down into the filthy darkness to see if he could reach it. He couldn't. So the other one went to the opening of gutter system and jumped down the hole and crawled through the garbage the fifteen feet to where the agenda was. Seriouly disgusting. So we rewarded them with 5 pesos (about a quarter) which probably made their week. We stopped by a less active family to try to get them excited about the conference and to my utter dismay, on our way in their dog bit Hna. Bustillos on the heel. This time it wasn't hard, but seriously? Two dogs in the same night? Then our last appointment for the night stood us up as well. We got back to our match-box house, laughing incredulously at our bad luck and feeling very very tired, but happy to be done with the day. Wow, that story turned out to be very very long. Thanks to all those that are still with me.

So, what a great conference it was! It made me pretty trunky because I swear every talk was about how to be a good mom and raise righteous children. Turns out I have some pretty deep and poignant emotions related to that subject, all of which were brought out in abundance during conference. I was pretty ready to pack my bags and jump on the next plane home to get started with the real work. But I know I am where I am for a reason and I really do love being a missionary. My experience here is preparing me better than anything could for the rest of my life and the unequivocally important work of raising a righteous family.

We worked really hard this week and the Lord truly blessed us and helped us so that we could get a whole lot of people to the conference. I think the "official" count was 125, which is about 35 more than we had last week at church. And we had 16 investigators. Wow. It sure makes a difference working with two more missionaries. The best thing was seeing some people show up who we had been working with all week. One of them is a recient convert named Rosario. She is about 55 years old and I think she was baptized quite a while ago, but just within the past year a missionary found her records and resubmitted them because she wasn't in the branch list. Anyway, I don't know who the missionaries were that baptized her, but she had some crazy ideas about the church and about Joseph Smith. I don't think she ever really had a clear idea of what the church is about or where it came from. A week and a half ago, she told Hna. Aguilar and Juarez that she didn't want anything to do with the church, but Hna. Bustillos and I have been visiting with her and listening to her. We showed her the video of the restoration and it really touched her. We asked her to say the closing prayer of the lesson and as she started to openly speak with her Father in Heaven, the Holy Ghost spoke to her heart and she started to cry. She aked for forgiveness for not staying firm and for strength to make the right choices and press forward. She committed to coming to conference and she actually showed up, and even had her grandson with her.

It touched me to see other members crammed on the bus on the way to conference, who haven't been to church in a very long time (anywhere from a month to five years) and to know that Heavenly Father is using us along with the members of the branch who are willing to lend a hand, in rescuing the souls of those who stray. He has plenty of work for us to do. We just have to show Him that He can trust us and that we're ready to work.

Being a missionary truly is the best thing in the world - at least for 12 more months, until the real work begins. :)

Love you all tremendously,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #27 - March 29, 2010

2010-03-29T16:29:00.004-06:00

Greetings from... JINOTEGA!

Yep, I'm still here - but what's even better is that Hna. Aguilar is still here too, and now we have two more sisters living and working with us. Hna. Bustillos (mi madre y entrenadora) and Hna. Juarez arrived Wednesday afternoon and the four of us are all crammed into our tiny matchbox house. It's pretty comical. We moved the two desks that were upstairs to the main level and put two additional mattresses on the floor in the room where the desks were. They barely fit wall to wall in that little room with just a tiny bit of space at the head of the mattresses for their suitcases. And with four desks and our chairs downstairs...there isn't space to walk through when we're all sitting to study, so if one person gets up to go to the bathroom or something, everyone has to stand up to let her by. Haha. We mostly laugh it up. Hna. Bustillos and Hna. Aguilar have exactly three more weeks from today before they finish their missions and Hna. Juarez is just two and a half weeks behind them. She will finish out the change with me when the other two leave.

Technically, I'm working with Hna. Bustillos again and it is very interesting to be back with her. I can see how much I've changed and how much I've improved with the language. I understand her a lot better and I am more capable of incorporating her great qualities into the way I work. It's also funny because she and Hna. Aguilar are basically complete opposites.

Hna. Bustillos does everything exactly by the book and is probably the most dilligent person I have ever met in my life. She teaches very seriously and tends to teach too much sometimes. But she seems to never get tired and has this energy that comes directly from her desire to serve the Lord with all she has.

Hna. Aguilar is loud and loveable and is constantly laughing. When she enters a house, everyone starts to smile and trust her immediately. Most of the time she leaves out the hymn and sometimes she doesn't teach anything at all, just chats with them and listens and jokes around. She is pretty disorganized and when she is tired tends to put things off. But she has a rockin' testimony and the ability to connect with everyone, so when she teaches it really hits home. I want to be the perfect combination of them both.

It's interesting to be sort of stuck in the middle and of course living with four people is twice as hard as living with two. But we are all working hard and learning from each other and it's amazing the difference two extra missionaries make in an area. We had 12 investigators at church yesterday... sweetness. The challenge continues to be getting the MEMEBERS to church. The attendance went down yesterday and President Fraatz wasn't very happy with us, but we are going to do better this week and watch the miracles unfold.

Hno. Raul was baptized this Saturday and confirmed yesterday in sacrament meeting. He's so cool. We found some families this week that I'm really excited about and Hna. Bustillos and I are working with the ward list to find and meet all the members (there are about 410) and figure out why they don't come to church. Many have moved, some have died, and others are now Evangelicos or J-dubs. Everyone has their excuse, right? It's disheartening to see all the problems within the ward and hear all the gossip and silly circumstances that keep people from finding the peace and joy that only gospel of Jesus Christ can bring. But it's equally heart-warming to watch people's lives change as they embrace the truths that will save them. The Book of Mormon has amazing power. It truly is a book for our time, for our challenges, for our salvation.

I'm excited for conference this weekend but I think we'll only be able to see the Sunday session. We have to travel to Matagalpa to watch it. So send me the ensign as soon as you get your hands on it! Oh, that reminds me - thanks for all the awesome valentines and chocolates. Love Love Love. I finally got the V-day package and it looked like it got hammered in the mail, but no damage was done to the precious cargo within.

Okay, time is up. But I love you all a whole bunch.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - and it's four times better with four working together!

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #26 - March 22, 2010

2010-03-22T15:58:00.006-06:00

Dear lovies,

Yes, I'm still here in Jinotega. We'll find out tomorrow night if we have changes. For one part I hope I have changes because I want to go to the change conference to see all the newbies and get the package you sent and get away from the things that are eating me here, but for the other part I don't want a new companion. Hna. Aguilar and I have so much fun working together and I would love to have the priviledge of "killing" her. She came from the MTC together with 3 other hermanas (Hna. Bustillos is one of them, my trainer) and Pres. Fraatz basically forced all of them to extend their missions nearly two months. They all completed 18 months the 4th of March and aren't leaving until the 19th of April. So I hope we can stay together for four more weeks but I don't think it's likely. I'll let you know next week where I am and who I'm with.

The weather in Jinotega is super hot in the day and gets cool at night. It hasn't been super cold for a few weeks. But semana santa (passion week) is supposed to be the hottest week of the year in all of Central America so it would be nice to be in the coolest area (Jinotega) for that week, but we'll see.

We had a good week of finding and teaching, but unfortunately all the baptisms we had lined up for this week fell through. Raul got really sick on thursday and still had a fever and wasn't doing great Saturday and Sunday so we are postponing his baptism until next week. Elizabeth and her 8-year-old son were going to be baptized too but she just has a lot of fears that have to do with her family (the part that aren't members), so we don't know when she finally put aside her fears and follow the Lord. But I did have some cool experiences teaching and we found some great new investigators.

This week we stopped by the house of an investigator named Isaac. I don't know if I've written about him, but he's about 60, knows the bible really well and is active in his own church (I can't remember if it's evangelical or what), but we taught him the first lesson a couple weeks ago and gave him a Book of Mormon with the commitment to read 3 Ne 11 and pray about it and come to church last sunday. But when he didn't come to church last week and we showed up this week and he hadn't done anything, I was disappointed. So Hna. Aguilar started to lay it down. I listened in awe as she bore a bold and powerful witness of the Book of Mormon and the Restoration. It was the kind of testimony that you can't just ignore or cast aside, the kind of testimony that is not apologetic in the least, straight forward and full of the spirit. Then I added my witness that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the kindom of God on the earth and that it is the only church that has the power to perform the saving ordinances of baptism with the authority of God. I bore testimony of the veracity of the Book of Mormon and of Joseph Smith and told Isaac that if he doesn't ask the Lord in earnest, than he will never know the truth of our words. It was exhilirating, and a spiritual high different from any other. And the cool part is that he came to church yesterday. Hopefully he will find his answer that the Book of Mormon is true soon. I'm excited to meet with him again this week.

Now for some sad news. The first counsellor in the branch presidency, Hno. Felipe, works as a night guard for some sort of offices I think. Saturday night, a lady that he had seen walk by and say hello for quite a few days, stopped by and offered him a drink. Hno. Felipe is the kind of person that can't offend anyone, a super kind and gentle old guy. So he accepted the
drink through the window. Well, it turns out the drink was drugged and when he was passed out the theives forced the door and robbed the place. Sunday morning his wife got worried because he hadn't come home and was late for his 7:00am meeting in the church so she went and found him unconscious on the floor. He's still in the hospital in and out of consciousness and the doctors said that the drugs have affected his heart. They still don't know what they gave him but it's pretty bad and we're all praying for him. Sorry to end on a sad note...

I love you all a lot. I'm glad you got my package a while ago but I can't believe no one liked the Pinol. Nicaragua is famous for that stuff. In fact a nickname for Nicas is Pinoleros. I'm going to bring a bunch home in my suitcase! Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to pick up your package at the change conference. Loves.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - when we are obedient, the Lord speaks through our mouths to take the truth to the world.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Photos from a recent conference with Elder Clayton and Elder Martino of the Seventy

my legs (que feas) with the horrible tan and bug bites

quick video of Hna. Aguilar

Letter #25 - March 15, 2010

2010-03-21T22:19:00.000-06:00

Wow! Tomorrow is my 6th month mark. How crazy is that?

I hope everyone is happy and healthy and not suffering from insect bites. It's a miracle I don't have dengue. ;) All the members comment on my pock-marked legs and suggest solutions, but nothing seems to help. But even if you tried to send something, it wouldn't likely get to me until I'm in a different area and by then the problem will have passed. Plus I'm still not sure what is biting me. Maybe it's mosquitos in the streets but at night in the house it's either fleas or the mites that the pigeon's living in the roof have. If there was any time we could do something about it, but changes are next week. If I stay here I'll look into it more. But way too much about insect bites already... sorry.

How cool about Elder Oaks at stake conference. Wow, how spoiled you Utah folks are! I forgot how often I got to hear the apostles or the profet speak at home. Lucky, lucky, lucky. Thanks for sharing your experience of listening to the spirit mom. It amazes me all the time how the spirit prompts and directs us, even giving us specific instruction for our lives and the lives of the people we are responsible for. It really is the most important thing we can do to live worthly of the Holy Ghost's constant companionship.

This week was a bit of a downer because the family we had planned to baptize this weekend still wont commit to get married. Sheesh. But we'll keep working with them. Raul came to church again this week. Man, this old guy is pilas. He made a sweet cover for his Libro de Mormon with heavy cream-colored paper and he told us that he reads it for 30 min. in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon. How sweet is that. I wish we could get everyone to read the Book of Mormon like that. We taught him about the word of wisdom a couple days ago and he accepted it right off the bat and committed to quit drinking coffee and to quit smoking. Yay for Raul!

As I strive to keep improving and work hard, I seem to be bombarded with all my flaws and weaknesses. Serving a mission is like lifting up a big rock in the garden. Everything looks all pretty until you pick that rock up, and then all the critters underneath scatter and start running around in plain daylight. All of the weaknesses that I never confronted seem to highlight themselves to me here on the mission. And now that I've picked the rock up, I have to face them. It's discouraging at times to see all my flaws so clearly, but I know that the best way to diminish them is to lose myself in the work. Because as I lose myself in my Savior, he makes me so much more than I could make of myself. We can try to fix every little thing that's wrong with us and make very little progress, but if we focus on others and on serving the Lord in the way He desires, we will find that we are changing without even realizing it.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - I'll never regret picking up this rock.

I love you all a whole bunch and more.

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. No, I haven't received any packages yet, but hopefully this week or next at interview or the change conference. And speaking of packages, I sent one to mom my last week in Nagarote which would have been 5 or 6 weeks ago. Has it gotten to you? I sent it the same way I sent the first package home, so I'm sad it didn't arrive quickly like the other. Let me know when (if) you get it. Loves.

P.P.S. Just keep sending everthing to the mission address. It comes through the pouch fast enough. Just the packages take a while because we only get them when we go to Managua for multi-zonas, but that is the same as before. Loves.

Letter #24 - March 8, 2010

2010-03-08T16:51:00.004-07:00

!Buenas¡

Espero que todos estén muy muy bien. Thanks for your email this week mom & dad. To answer mom's question, I had two weeks in Nagarote when we didn't baptize and we didn't baptize again this week here in Jinotega. So that makes 4 in total. Boo. I hate it when we don't baptize.

We are working with a muchacha named Elizabeth who is ready, has a testimony, is reading the book of mormon, has come to church a bunch of times, and who wants to be baptized... she just has the huge obstacle of her family including her husband who are against it and she is afraid to disrupt the peace. It's frustrating. I was hoping that she would take the plunge this weekend but we're still waiting.

We're also teaching two families who live in a really poor area of Jinotega called Villa Valencia. Jinotega is surrounded by "mountains" kind of like Utah Valley, but everything is on a smaller scale. And Villa Valencia is up on the benches in the North end of Jinotega. Olga y Julio live in a house of black plasitc, kind of like a tarp, wrapped around four big branches stuck in the dirt. Half of their house is taken up by the bed that they sleep in with their two little girls, smaller than a double bed, and there is a fire pit in the opposite corner. They haven't come to church yet but we're hoping we can get them there next week. A few houses above them on the hill live María y José Luis in a slightly bigger, but very similar house. María has been to church twice now and two of her six kids, Fabiola y David, have been twice as well. Her husband works every Sunday and he's only been there for one or two lessons, but María and her two kids want to be baptized. The only hold-up is that she and José Luis need to get married and he's really hesitant about it.

While working in Villa Valencia yesterday, we saw this tiny little girl, probably about 4 years old trying to carry a bucket of water up the hill. The dirt paths are really steep and I always slip on the dust and rocks trying to get around. But this little girl was so small and struggling with her bucket. So Hna. Aguilar started talking to her, asked where she was going and took the bucket to help her up the hill. After a second we came up upon her older sister, probably 12 years old, hauling one of those 5 gallon buckets filled with water and sealed with a lid. So I took that bucket and we continued up the hill. Holy cow, seriouly I don't know how the people in Villa Valencia haul their water up to their houses every day from the spigot by the little tienda at the bottom. I'm glad we have running water in our little house, even if it's super cold coming out of the shower in the morning.

We also had Raul come to church this week, a viejito of 81 years who we're teaching. This guy has the most interesting life. He was born in Mexico and when he was still pretty small, was interned at a school taught by Jesuits. Later he worked on a passenger ship and he knows all the port cities along the atlantic and pacific coasts up and down from Mexico to Peru. He likes to tell us stories and we like to listen. He also has great faith in the Savior and accepts everything we teach him very easily. I just hope the importance of the message can sink in and that he will see the need for baptism. But he showed up at church all by himself (45 min. late) because he wasn't home when we passed by in the morning. I was thrilled to see him walk in.

So we have a flock of doves that live in the rafters of our house and since there are holes in the roof (like right above my bed), we get all sorts of nasty creatures that are nearly too small to see, but that bite us in the night. My body looks like I have chicken pox for all the bug bites I have and I'm constantly plagued with itches. I think more than one type of animalito is biting me. Because I think during the day mosquitos attack my feet, ankels and heels, and during the night the little devils bite my back, legs, shoulders and arms. Hmmm... we've talked to the lady we pay rent to and I think she is going to have someone come and seal up the holes and evict the doves. I hope that will help aliviate at least part of the problem.

Thanks for the news of the ward. I'm sorry to hear about Sis. Parrot. If you see Brookie again anytime soon, tell her that she was in one of my dreams a few weeks ago. I don't remember the dream now, just that she was in it. Congrats to the Timpview STATE CHAMPS! That's so fun to be a part of, especially your senior year. Also congrats to Heather. I want to see pictures, so tell her to send me an email with some. But seriously, that's so exciting. And I also want to congradulate my smarty-pants cuñado. Way to go Mikey. Felicidades, en serio. Sé que trabajas muy duro y siempre estoy agradecida que mi hermanita le hallo.

I can't put into words sufficiently the strength it is to me to have a family like you, serving in the church, striving everyday to live the gospel and build your testimonies, pressing forward along the path of discipleship. It makes me want to be better, to work harder, and to keep progressing so that one day we can all be together as an eternal family. And because of your wonderful example, I have a much clearer picture of what I want my future family to look like. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Keep doing your best everyday and let the Lord take care of the rest. If we put him in the first place in our lives, everything else will work out for our good. I'm grateful for the unifying and edifying goal we have as a familiy of being together for the eternities.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - sometimes the path of the disciple is carrying a 5 gallon bucket up a steep dirt hill.

Love you more than life.

Hna. Crosland

Letter #23 - March 1, 2010

2010-03-01T15:22:00.006-07:00

Hey you guys!

So they upgraded myldsmail in connection with gmail and it's fantastic. My new email address is michelle.crosland@myldsmail.net (I'm pretty sure) but I think all mail to the old address will be forwarded. So how is everyone?

This week we had fun making invitations and doing divisions to invite all of Jinotega to the District conference yesterday in Matagalpa. It was a satelite broadcast to all of Central America and Pres. Eyring, Elder Christofferson, Elder Costa (of the presidency of the 70), and Sister Cook (of the general YW presidency) all spoke. It was really good and they focused a lot on the importance of family prayer, scripture study, and FHE. Those things really are the foundation of a strong family and we are constantly trying to get people to buy into the program. Elder Eyring also spoke about our path to perfection. He said, we tend to look at perfection all at once and get overwhelmed but we have to take it one step at a time. He said that baptism is the first step, really it's the door we have to pass through in order to begin our journey down the path to perfection. And along the way are our temple covenants. He talked about how our temple covenants not only bless our own lives, but they bind our families together and the covenants of the parents protect and guide their children as well. I loved his emphasis on the temple even though it made me really miss it. It was also weird not hearing his voice. My heart jumped to hear his first two words from his own mouth and then the translator took over and it just wasn't the same. But the message was really good none the less. It was a bit of a circus getting everyone packed in the bus, but we arrived and we had 9 investigators attend the conference.

This week we had the baptismal interview of Camilo on Wednesday and he passed just fine and was excited for his baptism. We just weren't 100% sure when it was going to happen with his work schedule. So wednesday we left it at, we'll set a time tomorrow for either friday or saturday evening/night. But we couldn't get a hold of him either thursday or friday, so by Saturday morning I was really worried. The few days before a baptism are crucial and Satan works his hardest to prevent it and we hadn't seen Camilo for two days. We went to his house about 4 times throughout the morning and early afternoon and finally got the phone number of his brother and got a hold of him by phone around 3pm. He said that he had to work late but would try really hard to meet us at the church at 8pm for his baptism... I was skeptical. Around 5:30pm it started to rain, no it started to pour. The rain here is seriously crazy. But we still had invitations to deliver and a dinner appointment so on we went without umbrellas. By the time we got to the house, we only had time to grab my camera before heading to the church.

We were soaked from head to toe and our feet were covered in mud and no one was at the church. Hna. Aguilar started calling all the priesthood holders that we had asked to help us with the baptism and one after another told her that they couldn't come for various reasons. I was pacing around hoping that Camilo would show and that we would actually have someone here to baptize him. But 15 minutes later to my utter surprize and jubilation, Camilo walked in and 15 minutes after that we had about 6 priesthood holders and 5 other members and the baptism was a huge success. I was so happy.

You can kind of see how wet we are in the photo. Anyway, it was a great week.

Being a missionary is the best thing ever - even when you are soaking wet.

I love you tons!

Tell Jocelyn that I miss her dearly and I hope all is going well. Tell her
to send me an email so I have her address.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #22 - February 23, 2010

2010-02-22T16:12:00.001-07:00

Hey there one and all,

So this week it was awesome to hear from Elder Clayton. He spoke a lot about the importance of the Spirit in missionary work and it was nice to be able to understand everything, in contrast to the new week-old Elders sitting behind me. A couple of other Elders were translating for them and for a moment, I could really see how far my Spanish has come. That’s not to say it’s very good yet but I’m so grateful I don’t have to start back at the beginning again with the language. We lost a good part of the week due to traveling because we stayed with the sisters in Matagalpa Monday and Tuesday night, arriving back at in our area with only enough time for one appointment Wednesday night after the conference. The lack of work really showed yesterday in church as we had a less than steller attendance. We also didn’t have a baptism this week which is a big downer. It’s the first week in a while I haven’t had a baptism. But we are pumped up and ready to really work hard this week to improve.

Jinotega is seriously cold. I thought I was going to die a few nights ago. I had on one of my thin sweaters and the suit jacket of a lady in the branch and was hugging Hna. Aguilar’s arm to keep warm in the wind. Really it was probably only 55 degrees or so, but with the wind I was freezing. My body really got accustomed to the heat after 3 months in the oven of Nagarote. Let’s see, the apartment is two levels but super small. Our front door is a nice celeste (blue) and when you walk in the stairs are on the immediate right and the desk where we plan and eat is in front of you. The little space further in after you pass the desk has the stove top the kitchen sink and bathroom. Ha, the bathroom is the smallest one I have ever seen. The door barely clears the toilet and the tiolet hangs over into the shower and when sitting on the toilet, your knees nearly touch the wall in front of you. And since it is colder here, logically the water is colder too. It’s way hard to take showers, but always worth it! :)

So back to the apartment... at the top of the stairs there are two small rooms. One has just enough space for our two twin beds and about two feet to walk between them. The other has two small tables where we study. We spent about two hours cleaning the house today and it was disgusting. Elders had been living there for a long time before Hna. Aguilar arrived in the area the change before I did and consequently it was in desperate need of some deep cleaning. I think I inhaled something along with the mountains of dust though because now I can’t stop coughing. I hope I don’t get sick.

The piano lesson went pretty well. I only had three students so that was a lot more managable. I am learning lots of new vocab words to teach music in spanish. It’s fun.

Um, yes we have zone conferences every week and yes, three hours is a lot of time to lose in the bus, but it’s only once a week.

We are teaching some interesting people right now. Camilo is in his mid or early thirties, divorced and he just lost his father a few months ago. The death of his dad was really hard for him and he started drinking pretty heavily but we’ve been teaching him and he came to church yesterday and he hasn’t been drinking for a week now. We’re pretty excited about his progress and he has a baptismal date for this Saturday. We’re also teaching the wife of one of the recent converts in the branch. She is pretty closed right now and I think has a lot of issues from the past to work out with her husband, but she is starting to open up and I hope we can help her realize the eternal possibilities of her family and bring some hope to her life.

I’m learning how important it is to work with the members from Hna. Aguilar. She is really good and building strong friendships and relationships with the members. When we gain the trust of the members, they are willing the help and support us and without them, we truly can’t work effectively. The work does not progress without the strength of the members. Also, Hna. Aguilar keeps me laughing which is wonderful. She pushes me out of my comfort zone with teaching, contacting, and chatting with everyone which is also good even though it scares me sometimes. I’ll be sad in 5 weeks when she heads back to
her casa in Guatemala.

Well lovelies, I miss you all with all my heart but I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than here in fridged Jinotega. At least it’s hot in the day and a lot warmer than where you are!! Haha.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world – who needs a comfort zone anyway?

Love, Hna. Crosland

P.S. Just keep sending everthing to the mission address. It comes through the pouch fast enough. Just the packages take a while because we only get them when we go to Managua for multi-zonas, but that is the same as before. Loves.

Photos from Week #21 - February 15, 2010

2010-02-16T07:42:00.002-07:00

The first one is me in the central park of Nagarote in front of the catholic church there. The second is our first baptism in Jinotega. Hna. Lucia doesn't look real happy in the photo but she really was. Her son is a member and he is the one who baptized her. Loves.

Letter #21 - February 15, 2010

2010-02-16T07:41:00.003-07:00

...JINOTEGA!

Hey lovies,

Well, Dad’s predictions about changes turned out to be incorrect… I’m now serving in the city of Jinotega in the North end of Nicaragua, bordering Honduras. It’s in the mountains and it’s actually cold enough to merit a sweater in the evenings, which is a blessed change from the heat of Nagarote. They left Hna. Pineda in Nagarote (with my heart) and put Hna. Lee, the mission nurse with her. Hna. Lee is awesome and I’m glad Nagarote will stay in good hands with those two. However, no Elders to help out with the leadership.

My new companion is Hna. Aguilar from Guatemala. She is hilarious, short and chubby with attitude to boot. Pres.Fraatz pulled me aside after the change conference and told me that the Lord wants me to learn how to work like Hna. Aguilar because she is the best sister missionary in the mission. This is her last change plus a few weeks because she extended and I’m really grateful to get to work with her and soak up all her knowledge. So far we’ve had a lot of fun. Jinotega is a lot bigger and busier than Nagarote. We are still in a branch, but it’s bigger and functioning a lot better than the one in Nagarote. And the church is super nice with a big sports court outside. It’s so nice to have a good church building with a baptismal font. Everyone here wants to learn to play the piano so we are going to start holding classes from 3-4pm every Saturday. It will be a good chance to find positive people to teach and get the members excited. I’ve never taught group piano lessons with only two pianos but we’ll see how it goes. Also, I had another rock thrown at me. A real rock this time, but they missed. It was close though. There is a noticeable change in the opposition to the church here. I think it’s because it’s a bigger city. We have a recent convert who’s only 13 and her neighbors have been telling her ugly things about the church and now she doesn’t want to come to church and wants to give us the Book of Mormon back. She is really confused but seems to be scared to investigate and truly find out the truth. It’s frustrating.

We travelled today to meet with our Zone in Matagalpa. The bus ride is about an hour and a half through the mountains and it is seriously gorgeous. Wow, beautiful and green. I really like it here. Matagalpa is a big city, bigger than Jinotega and I’ll be getting to know a bit of it too. There are sisters serving here and since we have zone meetings Tuesday mornings, the Mondays that we come out, we’ll stay the night with the sisters here and go back to our area after the meeting Tuesday morning since the bus ride is long and kind of expensive.
This Wednesday we get to hear from Elder Whitney Clayton and I’m way excited. We have to take a bus at 3:00am to make it to the conference in Chinandega in time but it will be salvaje. Also, our Zone is singing Fe en Cada Paso (faith in every footstep) so that should be interesting. There aren’t that many good singers here, but we do our best. At least we have an Elder who plays piano pretty well.

So more news about the mission split: Mision Nicaragua Managua Norte will be under the direction of Presidente Arredonde from Guatemala and Mision Nicaragua Managua Sur will be under the direction of Presidente Monestel from Costa Rica. I guess they are dividing the Managua stakes right down the middle. The south mission will be a little sparse at first, but will have a lot of potential to grow. Good times. We’ll find out which mission we’ll be in next change.

As far as the shoes go, I’ll send pictures next week but go ahead and send the Borns. I don’t know what model mine are but I’m pretty sure they are size 7. Do they look comfy with good padding? That’s all I really care about. I’ll be fine for quite a while, so no rush.

Give Sean a big hug for me and ask him if he ever got to meet or serve with Sorella Cuzzens. I was in the Provo MTC with her and she was a great. I’m pretty sure she went to Sean’s mission.

Thanks so much for all your love and support. I love hearing the tidbits of your lives, especially your spiritual experiences. I hope you are all cultivating spiritual experiences each day. I got some dear elders today from Feb. 4, super fast! Thanks to Mama and Aunt Ruth. I love hearing about things you remember from your mission. Haha. I haven’t experienced the rain here yet, but I’m sure it will be amazing. Lots of mud hills to slide down.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world – it doesn’t matter where in the world you are!

Love you a million times over,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #20 - February 8, 2010

2010-02-08T16:47:00.003-07:00

Hey lovelies,

Another week has come and gone and now it’s nearly time for changes again. I can’t believe six weeks has gone by already. And I’ll hit my sixth month mark in this next change. Crazy. It still feels like I have an eternity left, but time sure is flying. I am worried that I'll be leaving Nagarote on Wednesday... President Fraatz actually told me in our last interview that I would be staying here for quite a while, but who ever knows, and with our branch bishopric suffering like it is, I think President will put an elder in here as branch president until Pres. Antonio gets out of the hospital. Really, I have no idea, but I've loved serving here despite the challenges and I will be devastated when I have to change areas. I'll let you know what happens next week.

The big news is that in June, when President Fraatz finishes as mission president, they are going to divide the mission! So Nicaragua will have two missions and will open a whole bunch of new areas. Each change, following the one in which I arrived, we’ve gotten about 20-25 new missionaries and only ten have gone home. And that is how it will be until the mission divides. So we are getting a ton of new missionaries and right now, President Fraatz is really trying to train a lot of the younger missionaries to be zone leaders and district leaders. It’s an exciting time. Also, Elder Whitney Clayton of the presidency of the Seventy is coming to speak to all of Nicaragua on the 18 of February. I’m excited to hear him speak and to listen to what counsel he has for Nicaragua. I was also told that the church has begun to look for a temple plot in Nicaragua. That makes me happier than I can express. How wonderful it will be to have a temple here.

So this week mom turns 29! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! I didn’t get a letter in the mail last week for you, so I’ll have to try extra hard today and you’ll have to forgive me that it won’t arrive in time for you to read on your birthday. But I love you endlessly. I hope you have an amazing birthday and that you get to do exactly what you want to do all day.

Last Monday after I wrote, we did some service with the ward. They told us we were going to clean the church property (the plot of land where the chapel is going to be built). I was expecting to pick up garbage and such, but what the members had in mind was a big different.
They all showed up with their machetes and sandals ready to hack down all the plants growing on the property and with matches to burn the trash. The culture difference was funny. We also picked up bricks and rocks and piled them up near the front of the property. It was fun using the machetes and hacking away at the plants.

Of course there was the weekly baptism crisis this week. We had the baptism of Jose Antonio Olivas, a 14-year-old who is really solid, planned for Friday this week since there was an activity Saturday in the morning and the afternoon for the branch. He was all set to go, so I
wasn’t worried about him. We walked out the door of our casita to see water seeping out from under the door of the chapel. Hmmm… I thought, it has to be the day-of-a-baptism disaster. The crisis came in the form of a flood. Yep, a flood. “That’s a new one, Satan,” I thought, “but nothing we can’t handle!” Turns out, someone had left water on in the bathroom and that room, the room where the YW meet and the chapel all had about an inch of water (give or take, because the floor is not that level). We we grabbed a couple of brooms and went to work sweeping all the water out and onto the street. Luckily there is no such thing as carpet here to ruin, so once the tile dried, we were good to go. The baptism went just fine and Jose was confirmed this Sunday.

We have found a few new families to teach, but of course none of them are married. In particular we have been teaching a man named Maikel (pronounced like Michael) who is really ready and prepared to change his life. He made a goal to get married this weekend and quit smoking and we are going to start teaching his wife this week too, so hopefully they can be baptized together soon. It was awesome in our last lesson, we had given him the pamphlet of lesson 3 about faith, repentance, baptism, the holy ghost and enduring to the end, and he told us he had read it twice and wanted to talk about the atonement. Wow, that like never happens. He is solid and ready to commit to the gospel. I love teaching people the truths that will change their lives for eternity and bring them more happiness that they can imagine.

Being a missionary is truly the best thing ever – the Lord is preparing people’s hearts, we just have to find them.

Love you all to the moon and back,
Hna. Crosland

Letter #19 - February 2, 2010

2010-02-02T23:15:00.001-07:00

Hey hey,

So I keep forgetting to tell you about the misión blog. It’s www.mision-nicaragua.blogspot.com There isn’t a whole lot on the site but there are a few pictures of the different zones. I’m in zone Sandino if you want to take a look.

I prayed a lot and thought of you a ton this week Daddy. I hope everything really went well and that you are happy with how things turned out with your surgery.

Of all the things it means to be a missionary, glamour is not part of the deal. It has been so windy and dry here and we walk down a lot of long dusty roads against the wind, covering us with dirt and making it hard to open our eyes. We have a couple of families in an area called Sonrisa de Dios (God’s smile, although it doesn’t really seem like God is smiling much on this particular area) and it’s pretty far away from everything. So after making a visit to Napoleon and Belkis this week, our most recent converts, we mentioned that our next appointment was in Sonrisa de Dios. Well, anxious to help, they told us of a shorter route to get there from their house. Unfortunately, I don’t know if we misunderstood their directions or if they were just wrong, but we walked for about an hour along this deserted road, climbed under a few barbed wire fences, passed a dead horse with it’s mouth hanging open and it’s neck arched back, and finally found ourselves on the outskirts of Sonrisa de Dios. Definitely not my favorite part of the week. I also had a dirt clod thrown at me this week! Ha, it wasn't a rock, but I finally felt like a legitimate missionary.

But this week did contain some cool experiences as well. One day we showed up for lunch to find all the kids of the Garcia family, along with some other youth in the ward, gathered around a big bucket. Turns out they found a honey bee hive while cleaning the plot of land the church owns here, where they are planning to build the chapel. The bucket was chalk full of honeycomb, dripping with honey and a bunch of bees as well. They were picking the bees off and handing big chunks of it to Juan who was squeezing out all the honey into another bucket. Yesser broke off a little chunk and handed it to me and told me to try it. So I bit right into the wax and felt the sticky sweet honey squish into my mouth and drip down my hand. It was pretty cool. I wish I had had my camera.

The other cool experience was the baptism this week. Well, cool and kind of crazy at the same time, sort of like everything here. Our two possibilities this week were Marselino and Lilian. They are one of the two couples we married a few weeks ago. The elders had been out to interview them and talk with them twice this week, but I still didn’t really feel like they were prepared and there was also the huge problem of trying to figure out the details of the baptism since Lilian said she would only be baptized in a river like Jesus… seriously, a river. But we do anything here to baptize people, so find a river we did, arrange (and pay) for transportation we did, and round up a few willing members we did. All that was left was to help Marselino and Lilian feel secure and give them the push they needed to go through with it. Early this morning we had a bit of a struggle getting them to church, but even though we arrived late, we got them both there and getting them pumped up for the baptism was the same. Luckily we had the help of Elder Sanders, the ZL, as well. We were late getting off, all 12 of us piled into the back of a pick-up truck (don’t tell grandpa pete) and I was really worried that we wouldn’t have sunlight because the river was about 45 minutes away. But since there was nothing to do at that point but pray, I prayed and let the wind blow my hair and enjoyed the spectacular sunset. The river turned out to be really beautiful and the sunset really made the whole atmosphere beautiful. There were a few little cascades and some nice deep pools. We cut the actual service really short for the lack of light, just singing one hymn and a prayer. But both Lilian and Marselino were baptized and confirmed and it was a neat experience.

We had a good attendance this week at church again. These last two weeks attendance has been in the 80’s. But what really impressed me was the number of less-active members who came. We had a family of six and another lady with two small kids come yesterday who hadn’t been to church for about 4 years. The members are really started to work hard, to visit people and strengthen the branch during the week. It makes all the difference when the members take charge and care for their branch. We still struggle a lot with priesthood leadership here, but it’s nice to see a few things improving. Thanks for all your faithfulness and prayers. I know that I have not only my own faith and strength to draw from, but yours as well, and of course my Father in Heaven. It’s a blessing beyond words to have a powerful, faithful family behind me. I can feel your strength and your love in my difficult hours. Keep on keeping on.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world – even when I’m covered in dirt with dust in my eyes.

Love you forever.

Hna. Crosland

Photos from Week #19 - February 1, 2010

2010-02-01T16:12:00.004-07:00

Okay, here are the pictures for the week. They are mostly of the cool baptism we had in the Tamarindo river. Also one of my sweet tan (plus grime...) Love you more than spectacular sunsets.

Photos from Week #18 - January 25, 2010

2010-01-25T17:44:00.001-07:00

Okay, if I remember right, these pictures are of Napoleon and Belkys (the couple we baptized this week), the ward members seated in the "court yard" of the church waiting for the baptism, a cute girl on a horse that I saw in the street on my way to write this letter, and an old picture from the Guatemala MTC with Pres. Christensen and his wife and my companion, Hna. Fuka. I don't remember if I already sent the one with hna. Fuka or not, but I thought you might like to see her. Love you heaps and bunches.

Letter #18 - January 25, 2010

2010-01-25T17:41:00.001-07:00

Hey lovelies,

How are ya’ll? This week really flew by it seemed. Hey I got Paige’s package today! I’m so happy that it arrived and it was so awesome to see the pictures and get the letters. I also got letters/Christmas cards from the Wilsons and the Swifts. How great it was to hear all about the Wilson clan and to receive love from the ward. All my love and thanks to the Wilsons and Swifts.

I’m so jealous about your China trip. I hope you are still saving up money to come and pick me up and see Nicaragua. And tell Will that if he doesn’t get to go to China, he can come see Nicaragua too.

My Spanish is definitely getting better. These last three and a half weeks have been really good for me, not having a senior companion to hide behind. I still struggle for words and make a lot of mistakes, but I understand most everything (when I am concentrating) and am able to communicate while teaching and also while chatting. I definitely have a specified vocabulary but it’s growing…

Thanks for the big email this week. It was fun to hear from the whole gang. I love hearing from my missionary aunts and I am way impressed with Amie and her musical and Heather and all she is doing with missionary work. That is so cool. We don’t see much of the technology the church uses here (the branch doesn’t even have a computer) but it’s amazing to hear about all the ways we are spreading the gospel.

I’m also glad you are having fun in the snow. This week was especially hot and I kind of feel like I’m melting all the time. I miss snow.
This week our new challenge is that the branch president is in the hospital. He has something wrong with his prostate (I don’t know if it is as serious as cancer… ) but that is really going to be a challenge. The counselors are pretty unreliable and don’t really know how to do a lot of things (such as do confirmations, lead the church meetings, give priesthood blessings) because President Antonio really did everything himself. So we are missing him and relying on the elders in the nearest area. Wow, the priesthood is so important and vital in running the church.

My favorite Nica words are:
salvaje = wild, sweet, crazy
tuanis = cool, awesome, great
como no = yes, sure is
de le pues = alright then, okay
asì es = that's how it is, that's right

So I thought it might be fun to give you a few scenes from my life…

Scene 1: I am now the proud owner of a hello kitty wallet in which I keep all my cordobas. It is red and pink and does just what a wallet should do. I had been using that plastic Ziploc bag to keep all my money in, hoping I’d find a really cool artisan wallet hear but necessity called and I bought the first one I could find. Hello Kitty is my constant companion, along with Hna. Pineda and the Holy Ghost, verdad?

Scene2: I have nicknamed Hna. Pineda “The bone cruncher”. You should see this girl eat chicken. She cleans the bones right up, chomping and swallowing cartilage and all. It’s actually pretty disgusting to hear her crunching and look up to see a squeaky clean chicken leg bone…

Scene3: We found a huge scorpion running around in our casa. We chased him around with the broom until he ran under the beds, so we used it to sweep him out and then Hna. Pineda gave him a good pounding with a rubber rain boot that was left in the casa by the last missionaries. Ha, take that scorpion man. It was about the size of the palm of my hand.

Scene 4: I really felt like a pioneer this week. We have an investigator who lives in an area called Sonrisa de Dios (smile of God) where most of the houses are plastic and cardboard and none of them have running water. There are actually a few houses spread out around the area that have been built by the government and have cement floors, a main room and two bedrooms and are actually pretty nice and Maria Cristina lives in one of these houses. But she still has to take her cart to the community water spigot to fill up her buckets and yesterday we found her in the middle of that daily chore. I felt close to my pioneer heritage as I pushed the two-wheeled cart full of buckets of water, up the dusty hill to her house. It was actually pretty fun and then we taught her a great lesson about how we can feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. She is really progressing, coming to church, paying tithing and I know she has a testimony. She has two cute kids that want to be baptized as well. The problem is, she’s not married to the man she’s living with and he is actually still married to another person. Big problems right? So hopefully there will be a divorce and another wedding in the near future.

Ah! I wish I had more time to write.

We baptized Napoleon and Belkys this week (Napoleon is Maria Cristina’s little brother) and they are doing great. We had a lesson about temples and eternal marriage this week and I got a glimpse of how wonderful their future could be as we were talking about when they could go to the temple and be sealed. Hna. Pineda is from El Salvador and the temple that is being built there will be done by the time that Nap and Bel have one year, so Hna. Pineda might get to go to their sealing. How amazing would it be to be in the temple with people you had taught and baptized? Wow. I feel so urgently that we need to really take good care of Nap and Belkys in the next year to strengthen and support them and continue to teach them. I hope that the next missionaries here will take good care of them and all of the people we’ve baptized. It made me look at the rest of the recent converts here differently. They were baptized before I got here, but they were some missionary’s converts and I know that that missionary is hoping the same thing, that Hna. Pineda and I are taking good care of them to help them become deeply rooted in the gospel. I hope all the members throughout the world and paying special close attention to the recent converts in their ward and helping to point them towards the temple.

I’m out of time, darn it. But I just wanted to let you all know that being a missionary is the best thing in the world – it’s being able to see more clearly the eternal possibilities of people’s lives.

Love you all so much,
Hna. Crosland

Photos from Week #17 - January 18, 2010

2010-01-19T07:01:00.007-07:00

Editor's note: The Hermana sent us a few emails this week in addition to pictures (how lucky!), so make sure to keep scrolling down and read the post from last week as well as the email from this week.

Doing laundry

Cleaning out the maggots from the mini-fridge. (For more on the maggots, click here to read the Hermana's story).

A view of the Hermana's lovely accommodations. Who's next in line for a shower?

Thanks for your continued love and support of the Hermana.

Letter #17 - January 18, 2010

2010-01-19T06:50:00.005-07:00

Queridos Amados,

Thanks so much for your emails this week. What a wealth of wisdom and strength you all are. I am grateful everyday, nearly to the point of tears for what a strong, united family we are, full of love and eternal. I can’t say thank you enough.

Ali, thanks for your story of the lady at Days and your insight. We truly can’t change many of the situations that make up our day, but you are exactly right-we sure can do a lot about how our circumstances affect us. You are wonderful. I loved reading your email last week and hearing about your busy and exciting life. Are you sure I did

n’t respond? I must have done it in my mind. I think a lot about you while I’m walking around in the streets, especially on P-day right after I read your emails. Don’t you love life’s new experiences. I think you’re amazing.

Will, thanks so much for your email. It made me way happy. You seem so much older and mature, really understanding and applying the gospel. That is amazing. I wish we had even one of you in the young men’s program here to strengthen the branch. It would work miracles.

Mama, I did get the birthday package with the flowers and the brownie mix and the dress. It was delicious and the members I shared it wit

h loved it. The flowers have sprouted and are growing at the casa of the lady who cooks for us. I get to check on them twice a day:). And the dress is so pretty, it’s just the buttons all the way down the front are a little problematic… I can still wear it, it’s just not an everyday dress. But I’m doing fine in the clothing department. Except for the fact that the left sole of my Danscos split already! I’m so mad. I can still use them and because of the nice inserts I can’t even tell. It will be a problem in the rainy season though. Good thing I have two pairs of shoes. The SD card you sent was the wrong size… I need a mini SD, but it’s not urgent. Seems like the packages are arriving. The only one I didn’t get was Paige’s (boo :( Maybe it will still come). And I’m thrilled that the package I sent you arrived so quickly. Sorry abou

t will’s shirt. Now that I know how easy it is (and pretty cheap), maybe I’ll send another shirt when I get the chance. And I’ll have to send stuff for Dad and Ali’s birthdays too.

Speaking of birthdays… HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Paige and Leslie tomorrow and to Rachel Ilene last week and to Erin Sorenson about three weeks ago. I think you’re all stars and I hope you have(had) lovely birthdays.

The big events this week were two weddings

and two baptisms! I wish I had more time to write about them but I’ll have to give you the short versions. The weddings were a little crazy. We had talked to the members to get a budget to decorate the church (toilet paper and ballons look lovely when done right…) and to have a small refreshment of sandwiches and soda. And we talked to the Relief Society to do the decorating and food. But the day of a lot of things fell through and I ended up buying the decorations (minus the toilet paper flowers and bows that one of the ladies in the ward made) and helping make the food and carrying everything to the church where we had Alberto (the husband of our cooking lady, Johana) saw off the lock to the outer gate/door because the keys were with another member who was in Managua with all the young women at girls camp. Then Hna. Pineda and I proceded to do the decor

ating ourselves for about a 45 minutes before the RS pres showed up. All in all, after a lot of running around and waiting, we got the two pairs of investigators married. One pair was Napoleon and Belkys, a young couple with a little boy, and the other was Marselino and Lilian, an middle-aged couple with like six grown kids. I think that if we work really hard with them this week, they will all be baptized this Saturday.

The baptisms were two great-granddaughters of a cute little Recent Convert in the ward. We actually had a lot of support from the members at the baptism which was nice and everything went pretty well. We still need to teach the girls (Marvia and Yahoca) a lot more of the gospel but they are coming to church regularly, and like it.

I had a very important conversation with my Father in Heaven yesterday. I was feeling very inadequate and completely overwhelmed with all that was being asked of me. I know how important our work is and I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing all that I needed to, nor that I had the ability or knowledge to do so. But I know that my Father in Heaven does. I poured out my heart to him and pleaded for help, for strength, and for the spirit to guide me. It’s interesting how much I’ve realized that I can’t do this on my own. And the Lord answered my prayer with success last night in finding four new families to teach. We do all that we can and fall short many times. Our efforts might feel tremendous and still seem to yield very little at times. We are very human, and very limited in many ways. But luckily we are members of the only true church on the earth and have received a very important gift called the companionship of the Holy Ghost. We have a Father in Heaven who knows us, who knows what we are trying to accomplish, and who knows the right way to accomplish it. He is always there with his arms wide open, waiting for us to ask for his help and willingly follow his guidance.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world – we are never alone.

I love you all so much. Keep being the wonderful people you are and don’t be content with only working on your own spiritual growth. Find those you can help everyday to draw closer to Christ.

Love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #16 - January 11, 2010

2010-01-19T06:43:00.003-07:00

Lovely Familia,

This week had lots of ups and downs. I have a serious love/hate relationship with being “in charge.” It has been really nice to address some needs that I wasn’t able to when working with Hna. Bustillos because we were always on her agenda. During our weekly planning session I flushed out the area book of all the junk that didn’t need to be in there and organized it a lot better. I feel like I know a lot more about what is going on by taking charge and figuring things out on my own this week. I found the forms that we had been neglecting and focused on using them this week to keep better track of people and make better plans. Hna. Pineda and I also made a branch mission plan for the whole year with the branch President. We had a meeting with the hombre who used to be the branch mission leader, and technically still is, and he’s still not sure if his work responsibilities are going to allow for him to have the time to be the branch mission leader, but things are looking positive. All in all, I feel a lot more organized and hopeful that a change for the good is taking place here and that soon we will have enough faithful priesthood leaders to form a ward here.

The most frustrating thing is seeing members not living the commandments and neglecting responsibilities. But we do our best to motivate them. It’s interesting to have so many people to worry and care about. All the members, their personal struggles, their spiritual well-being, our investigators and how they are coming along, if they are really understanding what we are teaching. I didn’t know I would care so much. Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive. I’ve never seen so many problems first hand before in my life nor felt the responsibility to help in everyway I can. But I keep my faith in the Lord. He knows and cares about these people infinitely more than I do and as I continue to work as hard as I can, I know he is guiding my efforts.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world – it’s all about love.

To answer a few questions: I got the dress and it fits fine, but the buttons all the way down the front are a bit of a problem so I’ve only worn it once… Maybe when I get to a less windy area I’ll be able to use it more. Also, Hna. Pineda and I are getting along fine and figuring things out with the help of our mission leaders. I hope you got the email where I attached a few pictures. It finally worked this week I think. Love you all eternally.

Love,

Hna. Crosland

Photos from Week #16 - January 11, 2010

2010-01-11T15:40:00.005-07:00

Editor's note: Here are a few photos of the Hermana. No letter yet, but the pictures are great!

Letter #15 - January 4, 2010

2010-01-04T16:06:00.005-07:00

Happy NEW YEAR!

I'm glad to hear you are keeping wonderful traditions alive, that you
are all had a bit of fun and relaxation over christmas break, and that
you missed me. ;)

Quick note: Ali, your a star. I haven't read your email yet because
I'm going to print it out so I'll respond next week. Don't let another
two months go by without writing me!

So my first experience with changes was the 30th of December. The ZL's called at about 10:00pm Tuesday night and told Hna. Bustillos that she had cambios. It was actually kind of hard on her and she cried a bit as she packed everything up. I was just super nervous because the implications for me meant that I would now be the companion who supposedly knew the area and the members and had a plan of action for the people we were teaching. And although I was feeling more oriented, I still relied a ton on Hna. Bustillos to know our way around and to know who we should visit. Because of her personality, she normally took over the planning. (Oh dad, she's from Panama, her mom and younger sister are members, her dad is from the united states and left when she was really little so she doesn't know him, and she only has 3 months left in the mission - now she's training again in Chinandega...) So I was nervous accompaning her to the change conference to find out who my new companion was and hoping she had un monton de experiencia so I wouldn't feel so lost. Turns out, my new companion is Hna. Pineda, a cute little Salvadoreña who was IN THE CCM WITH ME in Guatemala! So technically, I have a month and a half more time on the mission than she does. C R A Z Y. It has been a really stretching and growing experience for me. My Spanish has gotten a lot better just this week because I'm the one that knows the area AND we're both only starting our second change. I have to speak Spanish, there really isn't another option. And before with Hna. Bustillos, I hardly ever contacted and now I'm doing everything, or rather we are doing everything much more equally. It's really hard but I know that the Lord is counting on me and He knows I can do it.

Our biggest challenge is the branch. We handed out the lists of members of each organization to the leaders and we have the list of future elders and we're going to try to find out where each one lives and contact them and reactivate them all in the next week. There are about 100 people on our list, so we're going to divide it up into areas and hit the ground running. There is so much to do, and so much to know. I don't know how a Branch President is supposed to run a branch, or the responsibilities of the Elders Quorum president (speaking of our EQP, he has been working every sunday since he was endowed and sealed to his wife and son about a month ago and hasn't been reading the scriptures or praying, he didn't come to church yesterday and when we went to find him and talk to him yesterday he said he doesn't know for sure that the church is true... we have a lot of work to do), but we are going to start reading the manuals with branch president for a few minutes each day and hopefully remind him of a few responsibilities that he has let slide.

We had the baptisms of Elena y Fernanda Duartes on Saturday, a mother and daughter who's father passed away about 10 months ago. We had to baptize Elena 4 times and Fernandita twice. They were both pretty nervous about the water, haha, but they are pilas (solid) and are going to be a great addition to the branch.

The family we had planned for this week has some problems it turns out. The word of wisdom is a killer and they are still pretty hesitant about getting married. I'm kind of dissapointed because they seemed so positive at first, but we're going to keep working with them.

Anyway, Sorry for this mostly informative and not very spiritual letter. I love you all so much. Good luck with the new semesters and work and all that you do. I am thankful everyday for my amazing family, so strong in the church. Everytime I talk about you, show people your pictures and bear my testimony of eternal families, I cry. It's kind of embarrassing... I love you more than I could ever put into words.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - the Lord truly knows how to stretch us and help us grow in new and amazing ways.

All my love, Hna. Crosland

Letter #14 - December 29, 2009

2009-12-29T14:54:00.001-07:00

Dearest family - how I love you!

It was wonderful to talk to you on Christmas and hear your dear voices. The time seemed super short and there were a ton of things I wanted to tell you that I didn't... but oh well.

I got the birthday package and the christmas package on Sunday and the package from G. Pete today. Thank you so so so much! I loved all the individually wrapped gifts and I put them all under our tiny tree and took pictures before opening them. (someday I'll figure out how to get a picture or two or my card to you...) And I'm super excited for the conference talks in the ENSIGN. So did everything make it alright? There are no lingering packages right? I guess the address you sent them too works just fine, we just have to wait for the office elders to pick themup and deliver them.

So happy surprize babies to LESLIE and ERIN SORENSON! Les, I seriously can't believe that but I'm so happy for you. And I can't wait to meet my new cousin when I get home in 15 months... How cool is that? You are in my prayers, along with everyone else. ;)

Also, happy anniversary mom and dad! I loved your schmoopy email this week. I can't describe how grateful I am to have parents that love each other like you do. And what's more, that love the gospel like you do. I am seeing my family with new eyes after being here in this crazy country for a month and a half now. I was reading my patriarchal blessing today and parts about my family (current, not future) stood out to me that never have before. You all bless my life so much and I am a better missionary because of the way you have always lived your lives. Thank you for acknowledging, understanding and practicing gospel principles everyday. That is so rare in the rest of the world.

Paige - thanks for your wisdom and insight about love and sacrifice in your email and also in your church talk which I just recieved. I needed to be reminded of that. It seems like being on a mission, all you'd think about is love and sacrifice, and in a way that is true, but there are so many aspects to think about. Dad said to be grateful for this time when I can concentrate all my thought and energy on one thing, preaching the gospel. And I certainly am grateful, but in a way I feel like I have more things to concentrate on and juggle than I ever have before, and the difference this time is that all the things are of eternal importance this time... I worry about people's lives, the branch here, the leadership (which really struggles - they just don't know how the church is supposed to run, what their responsibilities are, how to be good leaders, etc. - but we are teaching them poco a poco), my companion, how to be a better teacher, how to improve baptismal services, how to plan better, and the list goes on. There are so many different facets of missionary work and it's such a task to divide my time and give the most important things the most time. There is just far more to do here than two missionaries are able to do. Luckily, this is the Lord's work and we have His help and His spirit to guide us.

Mom - thanks for the Henley poem. I really liked it, especially the last few lines. It's important to remember that we have the power to be who we want to be, more importantly and wonderfully, to be who Heavenly Fathers wants and knows we can be. And we have that power because of the atonement of our Savior. Keep sending me your spiritual insights. They strengthen me so much, whether they come from friends, church, scriptures, or good literature (I miss reading good books besides the scriptures... but don't get me wrong, I love the scriptures more than I ever have).

All in all, my dearest family, you just make me smile from ear to ear. You are funny, and wonderful, and righteous and good. I love being able to hear your voices in my head as I read your emails. Your words always make my week and fill me up to overflowing with gratitude.

This week I also recieved words from: Roger Brough, Brent Warr, Sam Griffeths, Rosie Jones and Jocelyn Coffman! Thanks so much for your letters friends. I know you wrote them forever ago, but many of the things you wrote me were just what I needed this week. So I guess the timing was right. A note to all my friends - I am allowed to email you even though my time is very limited. So if you send me a line in order to give me your email address, I can respond to you much more easily. I rarely have time to write hand written letters even though I try to get one off each week to a lucky winner. But I love hearing about your lives and what you are all up to.

Jocelyn - you better tell me more about this man of yours. And Rachey face too. Are you guys engaged yet or what?

And last but not least, ALISON - thanks for the two sentences in the email this week, BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE! I think about you all the time. I don't worry, because I know you are amazing, but I want to know what you are doing, what your plans are, and who you are spending the most time with ;).

I'm convinced that Nicaragua is the craziest country in the world, but also one of the most beautiful and amazing. Yesterday I didn't write because we had a "super p-day" and the whole zone went to see the masaya volcano and tour the cave there. (Put this on your list Dad) It took all day to travel there and tour around and travel back, so we didn't get to write but the volcano was so cool. I didn't get to see lava because the crater is pretty deep but the sulfer fumes, like gaseous clouds were pretty sweet. And the cave was great too, finally a break from the hot-ness. There were even bats and vines in the cave. I just wish we could have gone further and explored more, but the guide said it was dangerous to go any further and I guess he was probably right since we were literally right next to an active volcano and two other inactive ones... So Nicaragua is pretty cool.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - my life is full of eternal worries of the most worthwhile kind.

I love you all to Kolob and back.

Love, Hna. Crosland

letter #13 - December 21, 2009

2009-12-21T17:10:00.003-07:00

Hello one and all!

First things first: how to call me on Christmas! 9:00am will be fine,
or 10:00am here. I'll just be doing my morning studying. The sad thing
is that I only have 40 minutes. I thought it would be an hour at least
but President Fraatz told us yesterday that we only have 40 minutes. So
we'll have to talk fast! I have the number of the lady who cooks for us
so you'll just have to call me. I'm pretty sure that first you dial
00505 and then her number which is 86029182. I'll have her phone
Christmas morning. I'm not sure if a test call is allowed but if you
are worried maybe you could do a test call. We are at her house from
about 12:30-1:15pm and 5:15-6:00pm. I think it should work Christmas
morning though. So, I'm very excited to hear all your voices. You have
to forgive me for being lame... I didn't send anything home for you for
Christmas. Well, except that one letter but that really doesn't have
anything to do with Christmas. I've just been so preoccupied with
getting my feet under me that it didn't even occure to me until this
week and I haven't really had time to think much about it. I'll try to
send something soon though.

This week we had a Christmas Activity for all the missionaries. It was
really fun. We had a devotional from President Fraatz that was really
good. Actually he kind of cracked down on us, but it was motivating.
He's really strict but it helps us to be obedient and focused. He spoke
for a few minutes in English to the North Americans. He told us that he
really felt like we needed to step up our effort. Most of us have been
blessed to be born in the church, we know how the organization works,
what it's like to grow up in a family of committed members. Many of us
have pioneer heritage, ancestors who literally gave everything for the
church and the gospel. And how sad would it be for us to come out here
and not give our all, to not feel those feelings that our
great-grandparents felt for the gospel because of the sacrifices they
made. It gave more meaning to the compass around my neck. My pioneer heritage means a lot to me. It made me wonder, am I really sacrificing my all? Do I have the same feelings that they did, is my testimony as strong, and am I willing to give like they did? It made me want to work harder, to give more when I feel like I have nothing left. To really put my best effort forward and learn to sacrifice. Like Jenny Thornton said, in reality we give so little and the Lord blesses us with so much. Well, I want to give a little more.

After the devotional we were divided up into about ten teams and played
some games, mostly involving water balloons. There was also a
watermelon eating contest and a huge blow-up slip and slide. It was
pretty fun. And of course we broke piñatas. This time we had sticks
though.

I've been thinking a lot this week on how to help the members and
recent converts in our little branch catch the vision of this gospel and
realize the importance of the basics such as coming to church, paying
tithing, keeping the word of wisdom, keeping the sabath day holy,
reading the scriptures everyday, family prayer. I feel like I've taken
these things for granted my whole life. What a difference they make! I
want to start teaching the members more about temples. I've been
surprised to find out how many recent converts really don't even know
what a temple is. It's so critical how we follow up with our recent
converts. In our little branch in Nagarote, we don't have ward members
to rely on to teach the recent converts what they need to know to really
get started in the church. Retaining those we baptize is a huge part of
the work and helping them really start to understand the gospel is a
huge job. But it's an amazing work to be a part of.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - we are literally
Christ's representatives on the earth.

I am so grateful to be preaching the gospel of JESUS CHRIST especially
at this time of the year.

I can't wait to talk to you lovely family.

Love, Hna. Crosland