Monday, August 31, 2009

Breath in, breath out

I'm sorry I haven't posted in about a month... I've been busy. Okay, really I've been lazy.

Have I mentioned that living in the time between getting your mission call and leaving on said mission is sort of like living in the twilight zone? I'm not sure if I'm coming or going and everyone around me is moving, starting new things, getting on with their lives. And I'm moving too. I'm just not quite sure where I'm supposed to be going, so mostly I spin around in circles trying to keep track of the ways in which everything else is changing. A good friend wrote a post about the way life changes and she beautifully captured a lot of my feelings right now. My life is about to change pretty drastically and I'll have to learn to adapt, to change myself and my perspective to fit in again. And when I do, it will seem strange to think that I used to go to school, take late night scooter rides with friends, and sit on the grass talking for hours. These are all things I was reminded of tonight. Things I will miss very much.

Provo is starting to come alive again. It's like the city breaths in and out with the flux of students coming in the fall and leaving in the summer. The big breath in is filled with the anticipation and excitement of starting a new school year. All the possibilities that starting fresh presents twirl around in your head as you get dizzy trying to take it all in. Then as the school year winds to a close, Provo finally gets to exhale and enjoy the lazy summer. But the lazy summer is over. And as the air starts to get crisp with the leaves, Provo comes alive. It's sad to think I won't be going to my first class tomorrow morning with my fresh new notebooks and pencils with clean erasers. I won't be going to any football games, tailgate parties, or bonfires. And soon these will all be memories of a distant life that I will hardly be able to believe was once mine.

But soon enough, I won't feel like everything is speeding around me while I spin in circles. Change is the only constant in life and it's a good thing. My life is about to change in ways I can't comprehend and I will have my work cut out for me. This fall, new and exciting things await for me too. I'm taking a deep breath in.

1 comment:

Amy said...

I appreciated your post Michelle. It is always strange to leave a life and come back to it, feeling as if nothing has changed, yet so much has...