Letter #74 - February 15, 2011

Hey loves,


¡Feliz día del cariño! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! What a great week it was right? Well we had a fun day yesterday in Managua, all of the sister missionaries at Presidents house with Hna. Arredonde. We basically had a girl party - doing yoga, learning how to straighten our hair without any electrical appliance, playing volleyball, making lasagna, talking, taking pictures, eating cheesecake, and laughing lots. It was a really fun day. At the end, we even got our own private question & answer session with Pres. Arredondo. Can I just tell you how much I love and admire that man? And Hna. Arredondo as well. They are just gems of people. Well, that is the reason I'm writing a day late.

Sister's Conference

Oh, and before I forget, I'm coming home March 17th. I don't know what time yet, but that is the date. Crazy that they already have my homecoming talk scheduled... Man, I don't even want to think about giving that talk. My english is so bad. I was talking to some of the new hermanas in english yesterday and I was surprized at how much I get stuck and tongue tied. Just promise not to laugh at me too much...

Well, this week we had a miracle and also a big disappointment. It cause me to ponder a lot. Okay, so first for the story. You know about Felix y Ruth, our part member family that couldn't be completed because Felix was waiting on the okay from the prophet to be baptized... well, thursday afternoon I got a phone call from the AP telling me that they had received a letter from the first presidency that Felix could be baptized. I was ecstatic. We ran to Felix's house to tell him and he was thrilled too, even though his wife seemed a little apathetic. Well, he just needed an interview with the mission president, so friday early-morning we all went to Managua and everything went great. He passed his interview and although we had the baptismal date for the 19th, President said that we should baptize him the next day, Saturday the 12th. Felix agreed and we set a time.

Well, that pretty much took up our whole day on Friday and what time we had left, we prepared for the baptism. We went back to his house at about 7 just to check with him and make sure everything was set, but he was asleep. His wife said everything was fine. Well, Saturday morning we got there early and found Ruth alone with the babies. Felix was gone. She said that he had woken up feeling a little sick and that the babies were sick too and that they didn't have any money to buy food because Felix had gone to Managua with us instead of working on Friday so he had gone to work (tricycle taxi). I couldn't believe it. I was praying for a way to find Felix and talk to him and while we were there with Ruth, he showed up. He said he was sorry, and that he wasn't feeling good, but asked if we could have the baptism later in the day. So we set another time. When we went back for the second time, he wasn't there again but showed up shortly after and we had to convince Ruth to come because she had a lot of clothes to wash. Well, he finally got baptized and the service was really nice.

Well, to make a long story a little bit shorter, on Sunday we went to his house three times before sacrament meeting, the first time at 6:45am and the last at about 9:10am, then again after sacrament meeting, and then one more time after church at lunch time, and never found him. We even went to find his mom's house because Ruth said that he might be there.

Well, I was pretty devastated that he wasn't able to be confirmed to say the least and it made me ask myself why. We were even fasting so that he could be baptized and confirmed and that everything would work out well. He had been waiting for months to be baptized and was so excited when we told him the news. We did everything we could think to do to help him and he wasn't confirmed. I have had many opportunities to ask why things don't work out and why we don't have success when we are doing everything humanly possible to achieve it. Didn't the Lord want Felix to be confirmed this weekend? But I feel like the answer is, of course He did.

The Hermana and a bashful toddler

But the Lord respects our agency so incredibly much that He would never impose His will over ours or over the will of those we are trying to help. Felix made his own choice not to come to church and receive the Holy Ghost on Sunday and hopefully he will be able to receive it next Sunday, but I know that even though it makes me sad, I have to be happy knowing that I did everything I could. I know that this is the Lord's work, but I also know that the Lord respects our agency, and we must respect the agency of others as well. It is heart-breaking when others make poor decisions, when they don't understand, when they reject the gospel, but we cannot let our strength slacken.

I love you all so much and I can't think of better examples of Saints of God, living the gospel, and enjoying all the blessing that it brings. Thank you for being who you are and for being examples for me.

Being a missionary is the best thing in the world - fighting for salvation and respecting agency.

Love, Hna. Crosland